Am i being a spoiled brat???

So first of let me say I am a huge control freak! My mother passed away when I was a little girl my grandparents raised me and my brothers and I have essentially been on my own since high school graduation. I have controlled every aspect of my life, financially, spiritually, and physically since I was 18. Now this being said me and my fiance have been dating for two and a half years. Earlier this year his parents pulled us aside and said because I didn't have parents and they knew that we wanted to get married they felt like they should pay for our wedding, which is an amazing, kind and generous offer.
During the conversation we spoke about us being able to have what we wanted for our wedding within reason, and that it was going to be our wedding. So we got engaged, set a date and started planning.
First, it was the city. We live 2 1/2 hours away from his parents and I didn't want to drive that anytime I needed to plan a small detail for our wedding. So I started looking at venues in Bakersfield. I found one that I quickly fell in love with for a fairly reasonable price and included most of the decorations for the event all tables and chairs. They were not happy with the price, so I told myself I wasn't paying for it so I shouldn't argue about an issue this small. One of there friends offered us a venue free of charge in there hometown which felt like a God send and of course we decided to go with that one instead.
Then, we hit a snag with budget they wouldn't give us a ballpark number of what we had to stay under, they just kept saying be reasonable. So that left me spending hours researching prices on linen's, photographer's and food not being able to commit to anything because I have no idea what our budget is.
Then it was Catering I spent weeks looking around not able to find someone I thought was reasonable because of the area they live in is much more expensive then ours. So, we asked for them to help us find a Caterer. My fiance's father asked us what we wanted and threw out the idea of Santa Maria styled BBQ because our venue was very rustic. Which made sense with the theme so we agreed. He found again a family friend and made a whole menu without asking our opinion on anything. When I voiced to my fiance that I didn't like baked beans and asked if we could do something else instead, him and his father got into there 3rd argument about how they were paying for the wedding, and his father told him they didn't have a choice, his mother later told him he wasn't being grateful and that his father didn't mean it how he said it.
That brings me to the point where we are today. I am so scared to pick anything because I have no idea what reasonable means at this point. I feel like I have no voice in wedding or a leg to stand on because I am not financing it. I have already told all my friends and family about a date that we set which is my mother's birthday and felt perfect but I feel like it's no longer my wedding. Me and my fiance have been fighting so much about simple wedding stuff. Even down to who we can invite because we have to be reasonable. I don't know what to do or how to move forward because we are so close to our date there is no way we can pull together enough cash to be major contributors to our wedding at this point. I'm tired of the stress, and am truly finding no joy in wedding planning anymore and am seriously at a loss.