Am i being petty?

View Quoted Comment It's not at all rude for a bride to plan her own Bachelorette party. Stop living in the olden days times have changed. Back in the day bridesmaids planned Bachelorette parties/showers nowadays some are lucky to get them to show up wearing the right dress. Not everyone has the same circumstances.

View Quoted Comment Actually, I don't. I only complain about ones where brides make it clear one or more objected before they went, bowed to the bride's preferences, and then the bride complains about their still not wanting to do it, a real concern like a tour during covid ( in an airbus or other lodgings where theymix up close) and the bride gets all upset about it. Here she blames that person for casting a pall over bride's enjoyment of the day. And not that she is in the same position, reversed, the problem is there again.
I also post against multiday destination weddings or bachelorettes, where the bride thinks all 3-6 days are going to be about everyone doing what she wants all the time. And if they take a day trip not on wedding day, or a bach day to do something, Bride gets all upset. You still get a day and a Dinner for your wedding, but people need not dedicate days to you.
.... If the bride does not complain about everyone not doing what she wants, nit a BM or friend complain about the same thing, or having to spend $500-1000 I don't complain. I had a destination wedding, in a resort area where no e of us live, 188 of us. And I planned a party in lieu of a bachelorette some were planning. That, or a party planned by the bride for the bridesmaids, has always been an acceptable choice. But making that choice, the bride becomes hostess, and pays for the food/ meals, and drink, and the lodgings, and the special events for everybody. Just like a party at your home, or a reception. And attending is optional, not something people are obliged to do or criticized for, not something the bride gets angry about. ... I post about a very small and narrowly defined group of mini vacation and destination weddings, always ones where the brides complain of someone not happily doing everything bride thinks they are obligated to. Especially like here where she said the person objected at the planning stage, and bride wanted it done bride's way anyway.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree. I’ve noticed at least half her posts (probably more) bring up how things were done in the olden days. Unless the bride asks for a history lesson, I don’t understand why most of her comments come with one. It’s not even relevant. And the posts are always so loooooooong. The moment I see her name anymore, I just skip right past it because I know it’s going to be a novel about things that aren’t even relevant in modern society, and usually don’t even address the issue at hand.

View Quoted Comment You said you did not listen to bm objections before, and planned the winery trip anyway. And you blame her for you not enjoying yourself while she was obviously unhappy. Niw she is planning all without your input, why are you putting up for it? You expected her to pay 1400, some for activites she objected to before you went. Now she is being awful, planning all herself, and expecting $1500.
I thing both of you should have let your ladies as a group all wanted, and which fit within their preset budget, both times. It is always bad manners to plan things others have to pat for, without their advance permission. And, it is always bad manners to plan a party of any kind for yourself, unless tgere are no presents, and the party hostess , friends planning in your honor pay for you. Or when bride foes all planning she pays for everything because it is her party, and nobody is obliged to come. When you change the rules to suit yourself, you create a situation where multiple people are unhappy.

View Quoted Comment

That is not at all what I said. I SAID that I wanted to go to a winery, but she objected so we DID NOT go. I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or do anything they didn't want to do. I would die if I knew my bridesmaids spent $1400 on me.. that is not even close to what they paid. I said they each paid $400. That is less than half of what I am paying for hers. Did you even read my post before you decided to respond? I think you are genuinely confused and misunderstanding everything I'm saying. Please go find something better to do. You're not being helpful at all.

No ma'am, you are NOT being petty.

I didn’t read through all the comments on here, so I may repeat advice.
I don’t think you’re petty at all and your feelings are valid. If she’s a good friend you should try to let go of your feelings. Even if it’s only for your own sake. Otherwise you’ll keep this with you forever and it won’t help your friendship in the long term.
Have you addressed your feelings with her? Maybe she didn’t even realise she handled your bach this way and how she made you feel. Or maybe she’s just “that person”. Either way, it will help you figure out how things stand with you two. And if you can get over it, enjoy the bach as if it was yours.

View Quoted Comment There have always been two kinds of bach. parties, sometimes called bride's party for the bridesmaids.
First, bridesmaids, other friends , or relatives, plan a party, starting with the nature of a party, like one evening, an overnight, or a trip. And they propose a budget that everyone can afford, and stay within it, including them paying brides share of food, drink and activities. And brides accept or not, without adding on things the hostesses object to, or that cost too much. Like a shower. ......Second type, the bride, or bride and her mother ( family) plan one. This is the bride's to plan, to do what she wants, like any party, and like her wedding reception. But she pays for all of everyone's food, drink, activities, and lodgings. And no one is obliged to go. They go if they can and want to. .... Those things have not changed. but lots of brides want to swap over, to where they do some or most of the planning, ignore the budget of the people attending, and yet expect them other people to pay for food, drink, activities and lodgings. What has not changed, is that it is still rude for someone, here bride, to plan a party other people people must pay for. That has not changed, here or in any otger social activity. And have it be in her honor, so anyone part of the wedding feels they must go. ( And then bride gets mad if they don't go, or object to parts, that is the cherry on top.)
As for not recognizing that people have mini vaction or extended bach, that is not true. That is what I had. I worked extra shifts til I got the money. And I planned a weekend for my women, 12 including friends not in WP. And planned in my budget, where only car travel was necessary. And planned what I wanted, and knew these people usually enjoyed. And because that made me hostess, I paid all food and drink, a 6 bedroom suite ( room for kitchen, living dining) at a resort motel. And paid for one night show, and one night James Taylor concert.And food we cooked included a welcome cookout. . And those who came for a day, or 2 evenings, fine. And those fir 3 days 4 nights, fine too. So I am not oblivious to many bach having changed. But think where people complain, and it goes back to who planned or paid for things, I do comment. Because it still is rude to plan things other people must pay for. Or act like a party is something people must/ are obligated to go to.

View Quoted Comment It's not rude to plan your own Bachelorette party just like it isn't rude to plan your own birthday party where you invite a bunch of people out to the bar with you. You need to stop living in the old days because things have changed. Brides are lucky enough nowadays if their bridesmaids even show up on time to the wedding wearing the correct dress. Back then bridesmaids were excited about being apart of the wedding and planned the parties on their own without the bride holding their hand. Nowadays everyone wants the title of MOH/bridesmaids but don't actually want to do any of the work. It seems like more than half of brides have this problem which means most end up planning their own Bachelorette party and there is nothing wrong with it. I think if a bride wants the parties to celebrate her wedding and bridesmaids aren't willing to take charge then the bride has ever right to throw them herself. I think we all can agree that everyone getting married only plan on getting married once, so why not let us have fun and celebrate.

If you have no other reason to visit this location (like see friends, family, etc) then I would just not go and save myself all of that stress and trouble