Am i Crazy?

Your not crazy at all I would totally feel the same way. Why compare her wedding to yours, she's not even doing it in a way that she could say shes just trying to help you.

View Quoted Comment Yes I agree! And we plan differently. She stresses over everything and I pace myself and do one thing at a time. She’s the type that craves attention but acts as if she doesn’t want it. She wants to be the first to do everything and thinks everyone is envious of her engagement/marriage when really all of our friends are really happy for her .

I would talk to her and tell her that you heard different. I hope that is not the case but you would be surprised how some friends can act in regards to life events.

View Quoted Comment I feel If I talk to her about it’s going to become a bigger issue .

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Hmmm...you know your friend better than we do. So here is all you can do. Ignore her wedding. Worry about yours. At the end of the day most of our weddings are not original. My venue has held plenty of weddings and elopements, my color scheme came from Pinterest, I have seen brides on here with my exact same wedding dress.

I know it will be bothersome but let her do what she wants and honestly if she is competing with you then that is sad for her. I would never want to compete with a friends wedding. I specifically stalked my friends that were married in the past five years to ensure I did not do anything similar ha ha ha. Benefit of the doubt it could be a coincidence but if she feels the need to get married before you and have your theme then so be it. Maybe do not share a lot with her?

View Quoted Comment Great advice! Thank you. I changed my colors slightly and I’ve also stopped sharing major things regarding the wedding with her.

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No problem. All she needs to know is what dress to buy, pre wedding event dates and where to be the day of. If she asks just change the subject or lie and say you have not made a decision yet.

I guess I don't get the competing wedding thing. Does it really matter if she has the same colors? How many people are going to overlap between the two weddings?

View Quoted Comment The colors matter TO ME because it’s the exact same color scheme as mines. Nothing was different about the accent colors she chose either. So since she’s known my color scheme for two years and now wants to get married before me and use my same colors to look as if she did it first it’s a bit weird. Just my opinion

Since she started planning for this new date way after you, she may be feeling the need to prove to herself and others that she really can do it. A couple of my sisters, one brother, and I all had 5-7 month engagements, and from the start had to politely tell people to keep their opinions to themselves about how we would never get our first choices of venue, dresses, caterers, hairdressers... yada yada ..
Media inc WW make such a big thing of starting 12-15-20 months early, because the wedding industry has shown, the earlier people start, on average, the more they spend. But if she is getting some of the verbal garbage we and several brides planning from overseas , or the military in under 10 months have gotten, or has insecurities or her family does, and she is a competitive person to begin with, she can prove others wrong ( in her mind) and reassure herself, comparing herself to you. Be nice, not mean. But cut short on details. Say, I want to surprise people. Say I have a timeline of several things I am working on now, and all I know is they will all be done except RSVP and seating chart, 1 month out. And repeat. When your answers are vague, and you seem positive she is fine too, you can give reassurance, without going over the top comparing. Pinterest, ads, TV, every column on WW have this, you can be faster/more creative/ more unique???? if you just follow this advice. It feeds into the competitiveness, it is not just her. They feed on bride's and MOB, MOG insecurities, to sell more stuff. So it would be awful to let it come between you. Be flexible. Tune out the competitive part. With everything else feeding it, give her a pass. The need to constantly measure yourself against others is a sign of basic insecurity. I have friends with worse faults, but still have a warm relationship, just working around their issues. You can be the kinder one.

The only thing I would be bothered about is the conflicting information about her wedding date, since you said you are in her wedding party. I would clarify that with her asap. Just something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm hearing you might still be reconsidering your wedding date, so let me know as soon as you've finalized your date so I can make sure I'm available." Everything else is just her being an excited bride...if it bothers you, just stop sharing wedding details with her, especially if it is causing you more stress.

View Quoted Comment Great advice . I’m going to do exactly as you said

I just wouldn't talk to her about wedding stuff. My mother-in-law tried to create a competition between my sister-in-law and I. We got married six weeks apart and my mother-in-law kept making comments to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law about how our wedding was going to be better because we had more money to spend and it was at a nicer venue. I felt terrible for them, but it created unnecessary tension between all of us. My sister-in-law was made to feel like her wedding wasn't good enough. I also understand about being upset about the colors because my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were going to do the same colors as us so I completely changed our color scheme then two weeks later my sister-in-law messaged me that she was changing their color scheme so we went back to our original color scheme. It was definitely frustrating especially because they knew from the beginning what our color scheme was so I have no clue why they even considered using the same colors. Are you going to have a lot of overlapping guests? If not, then I would just let it go because if you make a big deal to her I'm afraid she will just do more to upset you.

I don't feel like she's competing. What does she have to gain by it? Maybe she's just excited. Just because you chose your date and they got engaged after you it doesn't mean they have to follow your timeline. Some people don't want to wait 2 years, some don't want to wait 2 weeks, but at the end of the day it's THEIR day, just like it's YOUR DAY. If you feel like they're competing, maybe it's things you say to them and they respond in a manner to make you think competition. And if you're really worried about similarities in your weddings, then don't share details.

Dude there are people that're just like that, annoyingly aha.

for instance my husband and his bff happened to get engaged around the same time and they chose a date a week apart but his bff was so adamant about us getting married AFTER him -.- like what does it matter if we get married before you anyway, ya know?

View Quoted Comment Yeah that’s crazy of her to even feel that her friends are envious and even more crazy for her to try to compete with her. You guys could be planning together and helping each other out making it an enjoyable time .