Am i just being selfish ???

I don't think that you're being dumb, but maybe changing your expectations of the people around you will help you to not be so disappointed.

Not throwing you parties doesn't mean that your family and friends don't care that you're getting married. Maybe they're not the party planning type, maybe they can't afford it, or maybe they just have a lot going on in their own lives.

It's super unfortunate that your dad offered to help with your dress and didn't follow through, but it doesn't sound like this is out of character for him. Unfortunately, you getting married isn't going to make someone any better of a person or a parent. Talk to him about how this makes you feel. Not just the dress, but his general lack of interest in your life. If he doesn't change, I guess that lets you know where your relationship stands.

You also need to have a chat with your FH. You're not marrying yourself and wedding planning should be a joint effort between both parties. Find out why he's not interested in planning. Is it just because event planning isn't really his thing, or is it because he's not into the idea of a big wedding? Either way, compromising and finding a solution is going to be great practice for your marriage.

Chrysta and Caytlyn have great advice!

Planning a wedding is a unique experience, and since a lot of people only go through it once, we can't all be pros at everything that comes with the territory. You're not being selfish or dumb.

I'm not sure this will make you feel any better, but no one will be as excited about or as invested in your wedding as you are.

We have been engaged since August of 2018. Sure, people congratulated us and periodically asked about the wedding, but that's about it. No one threw us an engagement party, and we didn't expect one.

Even my mom and sister -- who I have extremely close relationships with (my sister is my MOH) -- have barely showed any enthusiasm or interest until the last few months. I actually found out they had a recent conversation where my mom was crying and told my sister that she hoped I knew how excited they were, to which my sister replied, "we should probably tell her." And they did! But that was the first time I heard it.

My FH is great and listens to all of my wedding ramblings and frustrations, and gives me opinions when I ask. But I have done all of the planning. The only thing he's in charge of is his tux and the groomsmen suits -- and we're *finally* going for a consultation appointment today at Men's Warehouse. One thing that might help is giving your FH simple options/choices; when you leave planning discussions more open-ended, they can be very overwhelming and make people shut down. With my FH, I'd give him choices like "do you like X or X better?" Or with more complicated things, like deciding whether or not to cancel our DJ and what we'd do instead, I succinctly stated my main concern and asked, "is this worth $ or not?"

One of my closest friends got engaged a year after we did. Before she got engaged, she didn't really seem that interested in our wedding (and she's a bridesmaid). But afterwards? She was happy to talk wedding stuff because she was now in that world with me.

I will say that in general, I'm the type of person that has low expectations but high standards and doesn't like depending on other people to get something done. So I actually wanted to plan the wedding by myself to make sure things would be done properly (FH and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves too, so this just made sense) and I wouldn't be disappointed.

Similarly, I chose my MOH and bridesmaids purely to honor our friendships and did not expect them to help with the wedding in any way. I also did not expect any sort of bachelorette party or shower -- and, with COVID, those things were no longer options.

My family, bless their hearts, is also not the most organized. For the few things they offered to help with, several have fallen through; I don't take that as a slight, they're dealing with their own things while the world is on fire, and I appreciate what help they have given me (my mom is buying hand sanitizer bottles, fairy lights, and surprised me by paying for half of my alterations).

Honestly, I think one of the reasons I love these forums so much is that I can talk to other people who are just as interested in wedding planning as I am. Everyone has ups and downs in the process though, and what you're feeling is totally natural.

I just wanted to say that I feel this so much. I 100% know what you're going through.

I hate to do this because it's lazy, but I am just going to say "ditto" to all of this.

Placing expectations on others so often leads to disappointment (in all aspects of life, not just wedding planning). Especially when you expect them to behave differently than they usually do. You and your future spouse can still have a wonderful wedding if you adjust your expectations now. Focus on each other and the end goal (being happily married), and you can't go wrong. Good luck!

I agree with basically all the previous comments. First off, no, you're not dumb or selfish. You're a bride who wants to be celebrated and have people show their joy for you. But as they all mentioned, and as I've realized - NO ONE will be as excited as you will be. No one will care about the bridesmaids dresses, decor, or anything as much as you will. My mom also showed little to no excitement this entire time, and she said she'd get more excited as it got closer. We didn't have an engagement party or bridal shower, they just seem unnecessary to me - but I understand if that's something you were looking forward to. But if you really think your bridal party "sucks", then maybe you shouldn't have them stand by your side on one of the biggest days of your life.. just pay them for the dress and try to resell it or something. You really do find out who matters during times like this in your life. Like you said, you knew wedding planning would be stressful, but planning a wedding during a pandemic has it made WAY worse than any other bride could imagine. So, just relax. It's good you're taking a step back from planning since it's clearly taking way too much of a toll on you. Wish you the best!