Good morning everyone,
Am i the only one feeling this way or am I honestly just being selfish and dumb??
I know that things have been absolutely insane this year but ive been kinda feeling this way even before all of this crap started in the world. I feel like there is a lack of excitement for my fh and i to be getting married. I feel like no one actually cares, no one has really offered any help or anything, no one including our parents has even thrown us an engagement party or has really mentioned anything as far as bridal shower or what not... we got engaged in 2019 before this pandemic. The only thing ive received was everyone’s negative opinions on basically everything. Our bridal party which is already small at this point they all just friggin suck! And tbh i dont want any of them in The wedding anymore but i also feel like that would be rude of me to decide now to not have anyone because the three girls already purchased and physically have their gowns. My fh and i already have jointly agreed to remove one of his groomsmen and havent even discussed a possible replacement so if that is going to be the case our bridal prty would be uneven( not like that matters so much at this point because most of our wishes have been shut down anyway) my father who i am not even close to at all anymore and doesnt even live in the same state as we do made a huge fuss because I originally wasnt going to have him walk me down the isle to avoid confrontation between him and my mother or my mother and i because she is also just psychotic, i then asked him to do it and he was so excited and offered to pay for my dress which is not even expensive at all. He said it over and over and that he would send a check and all these promises( which i already knew would just be broken promises, but ofc trying to be optimistic and give him the benefit of the doubt, i got my hopes up thinking maybe he actually gives a crap about me) he didnt send any money and no longer discusses it and does not even talk to me about the wedding anymore. He never really asks about anything at all involving my life. When he does reach out its to tel me some stupid stuff about people i dont know or to talk about my siblings...
My fh doesnt offer any help with planning nor does he even bring the wedding up at all.
I am at the point now where i am over it, i put a complete End on planning right now. I havent even looked at anything just for fun or for ideas in like almost two months now. Im just tired i have a lot going on medically and what not and im sad really sad about everything these days im not having planning anything and i thought this was supposed to be a really fun time.. and it isnt. I knew it was going to be stressful, but i also thought i would be having fun and have help at the same time.
I dont even know of i made any sense or if i was rambling so I apologize. Am i just being hypersensitive and selfish?
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