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Am i okay to be upset?

Siobhan, on September 4, 2021 at 6:02 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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I am 31.

i have 2 friends that have been part of my life for forever. my "day ones" .. sometimes we may of driffed but we have akways been there. We live down the road. when we had kids we were each others god parents. when my parents died my friend was by my side at the funeral. every big milestones. birthdays. christmas. we have akways been friends. the lastvyear 3 years we dont go out as much. we catch up every few months for lunch or tea. every annual leave we meet up. The current bride to be was my maid of honour 10 years ago. recently she has got engaged. weve been to celebrate. she told me the date, told me to save it. i slready knew she has asked one of her close friends to be bridemaid (i knew she would. they live in each others pockets) and altho shebis my "day one" i apreciate peoole grow closer to others. but no matter how much time we soend with other people shes always had a special place in my heart.
i was fine not beng bridemaid when she told me how her daughter and littke niece were. however, tonight shes been for a catchup with an old work friend who she is close too. she menrioned to me when insaw her a few weeks back she hadnt spoke to this girl for months or seen her in 18months. however shes sked her to be bridemaid. i cant help feeling hurt.am i being silly? its totally her day. i know that but i just csnt help feeling our friendship isnt worth as much to her as it is to me.

8 Comments

Latest activity by bevbabe, on September 18, 2021 at 2:10 PM
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    It’s understandable to be hurt and your feelings are valid, I’d be pretty sad as well. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about who she chooses in her bridal party.
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  • ArizonaDreaming
    Devoted September 2021
    ArizonaDreaming ·
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    Ultimately, this is her day. You have every right to be a bit hurt. But never expect to be in anyone's bridal party. You may hold someone to a certain level, but it is not their job to hold you to the same level. You may feel the need to speak to her about it, and that is okay too. But remember that it is her day and how you phrase your feelings is important.

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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    You always have the right to your feelings. However, this is one to keep to yourself and not mention it to her, just try to process it and be happy for her.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Aw yeah that sucks. As others have said though, it's something to keep to yourself and focus on being happy for her.

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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I get being upset. It's totally understandable. But I wouldn't mention it to her. I'd keep the feelings to yourself. The unfortunate side of friendships is that they usually are one sided. Not all friendships are but I've found since being on this app that there are a lot of people out there that have one sided friendship. Someone in the friendship cares more than the other. It sucks to realize that you aren't as important as you thought you were in someone's life especially when they meant a lot to you. She has shown you where you stand in her life, so maybe this is the time to take a step back from the friendship, don't get rid of her but maybe don't put her as a top priority friend in your life anymore.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    I agree you have every right to be hurt, but it's better to keep that to yourself. You don't want to damage the friendship or put her on the spot. I have lifelong friends who, though we're not as close as we used to be, still mean the world to me. But I still decided to have a small bridal party (just my sister and my FH's sisters) to avoid choosing between people. So it may not be personal to you. Definitely still invite her as a guest.
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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    It’s understandable to be hurt your feelings are valid my cousin is only having my sister in her wedding but work through your feelings and move on
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  • B
    Devoted June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    I would honestly be a bit hurt by this. Can you talk to her about this and find out how she came up with her decision. Maybe it would help if you understood her thought process. After that you can decide how you want to proceed in your friendship. Maybe you have to change the level of your friendship. That's happened to me over the years. We're still friends, but just not best friends or some instead of close friends we're more like acquaintance "friends".

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