Hello,
I have a situation that I just needed other peoples opinions on who may also be in a similar boat
I am Australian and my Fiance is English
I moved to the UK with one of my best friends about 6 years ago, we were both single, as time went on we both met lovely English lads. She has now moved back to Australia with her English partner that she met over here and I am still in the UK with my English partner who is now my fiance.
We have plans to stay here until I get my British passport then move to Australia to settle with no restrictions.
She is one of my best friends, I have 4 in total that I met in high school and that I have kept in very good contact with over the years. (Im now 31 years old to show how long the friendships been going) My fiance and I have been back to Australia a few times since for weddings, 30th birthdays etc and we obviously made a planned trip out of attending these events.
Ever since we got engaged I told them that we wanted to get married in Italy because that's where my Fiance's family is from and we just love it there!
My 4 bridal party were really excited about it and said they couldn't wait for an Italian wedding
Over the years my friends back home have had babies and are planning others etc.
My partner and I are in no rush to get married and obviously want to work around my best friends as much as possible as we really want them at the wedding (they are my bridal party after all)
I have recently brought up that Im looking at starting to plan the wedding soon, obviously COVID is a major factor of uncertainty at the moment which I completely understand.
Ive told them I would happily push it back a few years to make sure that COVID is non existent and babies are old enough to either travel or stay with family, whatever they choose.
Now when I bring up potential dates to them (well in advance) I am getting hesitant answers from all of them, even the one who doesn't have children
I came to the realisation that I could give them 10 years notice and now I am getting really hesitant answers, answers like "obviously i don't want to miss it for the world but I just don't know what we'll be doing or what our situation will be like that far in advance"
I thought the reason for giving people as much notice as possible was for them to 'save the date' type thing?
I cant get a definite answer from any of them now!
My partner and I were looking forward to the Italian wedding as a party for my Australian side to meet my English/Italian side and also as a farewell to our UK life.
Now I don't even know if I will have anyone by side on the day.
I have told them that I am extremely hurt by this, I mentioned that I have never made a fuss in 6 years of living here that no one has come to visit as I know its incredibly difficult, I thought that our wedding would be the one and only thing they would make the effort for as I seem to always make the effort to and see them.
I only have a very small Australian family side coming, but I was hoping my best friends would be part of that
Now I just want to elope with my fiance and have no one there because I am so hurt by it all
Anyone else had this issue? Where on paper the event sounds amazing to your best friends but in reality they don't want to make the effort?
I suppose if they had hesitations from the very beginning I wouldn't have got my heart set on Italy, but even so my fiance has a big family here in the UK and it would be easier to get a few from Aus over here then a heap of them to Australia.
I feel like I have been incredibly flexible the whole time and very accommodating and now when it comes down to it the real feelings are coming out
Do I have a right to feel hurt? Or am I asking too much of them?