Am i overreacting?

I don't think I'd be super mad but I'd be annoyed for sure and tell your fiance how you feel privately. I have no issue with any of my husband's exes from his past, even the ones that were really awful to him, but that doesn't mean I want to buy my wedding dress with them?

My FMIL talks about FH's one ex that she really liked (even though she's a blonde and FMIL always talks about how she hates blondes, and the ex never supported anything my FH wanted to do with his life), but she only brings her up because she helped FH get into college-- and he later dropped out so like, whatever. She even got mad at me one time when she mentioned a mall she wanted to go to, and FH was like "Uh oh we might run into EX over there" and I was like "Ew" and laughed and she looked at me really sternly and was like "NO"

FMIL's are weird creatures. Gotta tread lightly. I'd let it go for now and tell her the places that YOU want to go to look for YOUR wedding dress. And just don't give her a chance to even mention Mary again.

I definitely would not have been able to just sit there and let her talk about it like that. I don't think you are overreacting at all. I don't see why she would even bring it up.

I applaud you for being able to keep your cool in a situation like this. I would've lost it lol But I really hate my FH ex for multiple reasons. You are not overreacting by any means.

I would have FH talk to his mom and tell her it was inappropriate for her to do that and suggest you buy your wedding dress from his ex. If her behavior and comments continue I would try to set her down and tell her how it makes you feel. I'm really sorry she did that.

Not at all! Family is hard, and sometimes harder when it's family that isn't blood. I have a similar situation, not with FMIL but another family member, at the end of the day I learned that you cannot control people and people are going to live their own life regardless of it it affects your happiness or not. If she wants to walk around and claim that his ex and her are "friends" no conversation is going to change that. It sounds pretty clear she is being petty (whether it's to you or to your FH ex is up for debate), however I think it's something you should just brush off and let fade on its own. I feel like if you feed more attention into it she will continue because she knows that it upsets you.

Oh gosh, that's so weird.

Your FMIL might just be trying to be helpful, and she happens to know one person that works in one bridal shop that just so happens to be the ex of your FH, so that's what she mentioned. Maybe she thinks you don't know who Mary is and was just saying "our friend" as a way to someone describe a relationship with Mary without blatantly pointing out that she is an ex.

Also if your FMIL is anything like my mom or my FMIL, they don't have all that much interesting going on and their day to day lives are pretty much the same and unexciting. My mom frequently asks about my childhood friends because she thinks its interesting finding out what people are doing with their careers, where they live, if they are married/divorced/have kids. She's just bored. She doesn't typically ask about my exes though, and I would be shocked if she ever mentioned an ex-boyfriend in front of my FH.

Have you mentioned to your FH that you thought it was weird?