Am i wrong? Daddy Issues

I don't believe that you are wrong for feeling the way you do in not wanting to invite him. Do not let his parents force/sway you into a decision that you don't feel comfortable with, as it is your choice and what you feel more comfortable with.

If you feel like giving him that chance to attend and might have regret later that you didn't, then go ahead and extend the invite. But if you don't feel good about having him there and the thought of him being there worries you (as to what could or might happen, aka "go wrong", with him being) then don't stress over it and go with your gut instinct. Don't let others try to sway you into something your not happy or comfortable with.

I'm having a difficult time deciding whether or not to invite my father to our wedding as well. Not unlike you, my father was amazing and present while I was growing up, then left my mother and I when I was around 19. Since then, we've had little communication and he seldom tries to be a part of my life. I still love him, but the father he was to me growing up, isn't the man I see today.

Many people are saying I'll regret not inviting him, and to go ahead and send an invite, whatever he decides to do after that is on him. Others are saying to not invite him because what he did was wrong and inexcusable (long story and drama).

I would suggest following what you feel in your gut is the best choice for YOU. No one, not even his parents, have a say in the matter. Only you and him truly know what your dynamic is now, and if you feel like you wouldn't enjoy having him there, then don't invite him. But if it's something you'll regret not doing in the future, then send the invite, and if he comes...he comes. What happens after you send the invite is on him.

I, personally, do not think that's reason to not invite your father to your wedding especially if he was present your entire upbringing. That's my opinion. My dad is super flaky and it bothers me, he's flaked on Thanksgiving and countless other things but that's just a personality flaw I can live with. It's more important he's in my life.

This is your call, and your call only. I would be very wary of your FILs insisting he needs to be there. My relationship with my mother is toxic to the point of her refusing to come to our wedding, and my ILs never once pressured me to make up with her. It concerns me that they are ignoring your obvious discomfort.

I think your FH needs to tell them to politely butt out. Then you can sort out your feelings without pressure.

Only you can know what's right in your situation. If you truly don't think you will regret him not being there, then don't worry about it. If you think you might come to regret it, then think about that as well... I had a friend tell me, "you never regret being kind" but there are times you have to respect your own limits. Good luck, whatever you choose!

As a parent it would NEVER cross my mind that I would need to invite my child to their grandparents funeral. Especially if they are a full functioning adult. IIt is a given that they should be there and if they didn't show up, I would be furious Plus your dad is a human being, going through a divorce will really screw with your mind. It was probably difficult for him to get through the day at that time. Maybe he didn't want you to see him so lost/angry/sad///////whatever it was he was feeling. Maybe he didn't feel it was fair to lay that at your feet or maybe he didn't want to say something about the whole situation that would cause you or your mother additional stress. Parents are real people. They make mistakes and fail sometimes. Hopefully your children won't judge you as harshly as you are judging. Just know that if you don't invite him there's a big chance he won't want to maintain a relationship in any way with a child who is so willing to cut his heart out.