Am i wrong?

Unfortunately I don't think that covers anything. You can have a get together like that but they're still not likely to come. Honestly, while ceremonies are nice, they're not very fun. That's kind of the point of the reception being a thank you to people who came to watch your ceremony.

At this point I think you might just need to admit your idea was well intended, but not the right way to go and either make a totally new plan to let these friends bring their SOs (which honestly idk if I'd want to go at all anyway if I were your friend and you might need to accept your friends could feel the same way) or just have a smaller wedding with family that you can pay for without asking them for help.

As far as asking for money as a gift, we plan on having a fund available to help us pay for a kitchen table and chairs, but that's along with a registry including other gifts if people don't like the idea of giving only money. I don't even hate honeymoon funds, but asking for people to help pay for your wedding that you don't need to have is very rude.

You can but its not fixing the fact that you are being incredibly rude. You need to include those invited to the ceremony at the reception - no if, ands or buts about it.

Thats like inviting people to your bridal shower and not to the wedding its super rude and gift grabby.

If I was told "you can come to the ceremony but not the reception" I wouldn't even bother and would probably never talk to you again. I was invited to a wedding and my fiance was not, and I will not be attending for that reason because it is rude.

You either need to find a venue that can accommodate everyone and what you can afford, or you need to cut your guest and you need to include significant others.

Ugh, that would make things even worse... guests shouldn't be invited to pre-wedding events if they won't be invited to the wedding reception. Like I said before, I honestly think your best bet is to scrap everything and start over with the planning.

Please don't do this either. That would be like rubbing it in and seems almost worse. Please, take it from the mid-50 year old two time bride here: Cut your losses, have a small elopement and apologize to those you have offended with this plan. Not trying to be mean, just blunt and to the point.

I agree that this will only make the matter worse. I think you need to come up with a completely new plan because what you are trying to do is incredibly rude. I also think it would make more sense to spend the money that would be spent on something like this on the actual wedding.

No, that doesn't fix it at all.

I wouldn't recommend that. It's kind of like rubbing it in their faces and saying "celebrate me even though you're not good enough to be included in my reception."

I think that you've gotten some excellent advice from all of the PPs on this thread and I hope you take it to heart.

Honestly I'm really sorry to say that your mom and everyone are correct. I feel like you need to start over with a smaller guest list. The world does not owe you a wedding, particularly on the heels of a pandemic.

Here are some etiquette guidelines:

Don't ask people for money

Don't invite people pre-wedding events that aren't invited to the wedding.

Don't invite just 1/2 of couple. You can't someone to celebrate your union while disrespecting theirs.

Don't invite people to the ceremony but not the reception. The reception is an event that you host to thank people for attending your ceremony.

Once you involve others, it's not just "your day".

Moving forward, I would apologize to anyone that was affected by your planning so far and plan a lovely wedding that you can afford. Good luck!