Analysis paralysis for hiring wedding planners/coordinators

Definitely don’t feel like you can’t ask for the contract unless you are going to go with them! We asked for the contract on all of our top choices when trying to make a decision.


We also based our decisions on reviews we gathered from all the different sites - The Knot, WeddingWire, Google, Facebook, Yelp.

We ended up doing so much without our Wedding Planner. She basically ghosted us. We are in legal pursuit now. Do what you can do on your own although our guest list was quite small but you would be surprised how much money you can save. It just takes some time and a couple phone calls.

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What do you think about asking our top 3 vendors in each category to review contracts before making a decision? I feel bad to ask them to do the work but I really want to compare legal terms especially on a planner who I think is really important.

I definitely ask my top choice but I am curious to see how the other ones look like? I do feel bad though.

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I am so sorry to hear. That's pretty difficult. I hope all of this can be resolved. Did you end up trying to hire another different coordinator/planner then? When is your official wedding date? Congratulations!

View Quoted Comment Yeah that’s definitely reasonable! I think I also did top 3 in each of my categories when I got to asking about contracts. They definitely don’t mind doing it and get that many brides want peace of mind.

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Thank you for your input. So for the one you didn't choose to go with, did you politely tell them you went a different direction? That's the thing. Part of me feels really bad about asking and then trying to turn them down gracefully after all the time they put into it. I am sure these people will want an explanation/follow up

View Quoted Comment No problem!


Not all of them follow up, but some do. I tried to remember each time to reply with a nice note if I ended up not going with them. I usually typed something like this:

“Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us! We will actually be going with another vendor but we appreciate your time and will definitely recommend you to our friends or family that get engaged in the future!”

We got a positive response each time ☺️

View Quoted Comment We married 10/1 and it was perfect. Thankfully we are pretty laid back people And went with the flow. I guess just watch your back. Don’t do anything or spend anything you don’t want to do!!

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Congratulations . Did you just coordinate everything yourself then for the day of? I give you props for that. And I agree with the spending, its hard to know what everything will cost. Did you end up also doing DIY wedding stuff? Thanks again

Hi welcome to the wedding wire family and Congratulations to you both. I was doing the same thing and to look over certain things like all that you mentioned. But most of their's prices were alot so my thing was putting out that much amount of money either for full whole wedding planner or a coordinator for the day. So I just did it myself along with a friend of mine that is helping me. And I thank her so much and is my life saver so trying to keep down cost. By using this wedding wire app and other tools. It may have been more overwhelming. So I also need to thank my MOHS each played a roll especially my sister from caterers to DJ and online shopping and shopping in person and receiving some discounts on items. So the only time I will say to ask for a contract or to go over there unless your considering on booking them. I hope who every you choose and that you can plan the wedding you want

We hired someone who was a certified wedding planner whom i knew had a network though he was from out of state. We had a good repertoire with him on zoom (pandemic meetings) and found him very organized (like myself) and fun (like my husband). We also respect boundaries so were not shocked when he had a no breakdown and "no middle of the night calls" policy. If you need that, i would specifically ask them outright.


That said, it sounds like you want decor help also. I would look for a wedding planner/ floral designer with artistic flair and understands your scope. Vision will evolve over time. As for budget woiries, they do not sign off on vendor contracts until you approve costs. You pay vendors directly not them. Find a planner who will review vendor contracts and can meet X times a month to your expectations. Unless you ask, they will not take over full planning. Have your partner on these calls as you will be a 3-person team. Once you both decide to hire someone, you will have to put type A aside and trust your planner to do their job. You're the CEO and your planner is Director of Operations. If you feel this is not possible, you should forego a planner and plan yourself (w/your FS of course).

Just wanted to add, look for a planner who can hold your hand through it all. They will see you through all sorts of inexplicable feelings, incl but not limited to: marital panic, decision fatigue, disappointment in family/ friends, rage. Trust yourself and your FS that you will find someone suitable. All will be okay!


My experience was for partial planning, not full or day-of coordination. We had a 5-month engagement, and Invested in a planner after 2 months during my health changes. If you are in NY/ Boston, tristate, I would recommendations my guy. I strongly suggest referrals from friends as well, or look at real weddings in bridal mags or WW for larger firms. Good luck!