Angry Friend

I would maybe just try to explain that you would love to be there, but you also need to follow your doctor's medical advice. If she is your close friend, then it's understandable for her to be upset and want you there, but she also should be able to accept it after some time to process since this is in your and your baby's best interest.

Just explain to her what the dr advised. Plus, do you really want to travel when your 8 mths along? Other than that, there really isn’t much else you can do.

I agree with the others! I’d explain the Dr’s orders. To be honest, she shouldn’t be getting upset with you when your health is involved. I can see how it may be frustrating but things do happen that are out of our control.

I honestly want to say to tell her to get over it ha ha. Your life plans have nothing to do with her wedding and she needs to move on.

Seriously like others have said just explain doctor's orders and maybe even offer to send her a gift and explain you would love to be there but you need to keep you and your baby safe.

Your . . . friend . . . (and I use the term friend loosely) is angry because you can't attend her wedding because you're pregnant and your doctor told you not to travel? Seriously? I would find new friends, because that's not a nice reaction.

Tell her that you understand her dissappointment but that you're following precautions from doctor that you trust.

Your friend isn't being much of a friend.


If she keeps this up, I'd also find new friends. Ones that are reasonable

Try to step back from the situation and give her the benefit of the doubt that your being pregnant is not really the issue. Those of us who are older and had to postpone are facing the hard truth that we will still not get the day we wanted, and that everyone else got, even after waiting an extra year. Personally, while I’m thrilled for my friends, half of them became or will become first time moms during COVID. Not only is it hard seeing them hit major milestones while my life is stuck on hold, but I also know that the party atmosphere we have talked about for years will be a lot different with 7 infants at the formerly child-free wedding (yes, 7!!) She is probably still stressing if the wedding can take place this year, has to repeat planning all over again, and this is just one more disappointment.
Obviously you have to follow your doctor’s orders, but try to appreciate the difficult situation she is in and why this would be hard news for her to hear. Anything you can do to support her now since you can’t be at the wedding will mean a lot!

That's not a friend. Drop her and find people who are supportive and don't have strings attached to their friendship.

Drop your friend. You don't need someone that can't be happy for you in your life.

Your friend needs to grow up. For her to get angry with you is as foolish as if you got angry with her for postponing, rather than blaming Covid. It is sad when weddings do not come off to match your dreams
But it happens every year to a lot of people, covid just adds to the pile. Disappointment is okay. Anger at a friend for missing due to health ( pregnancy) is spoiled and immature behavior. Whether or not the bride was the one who delayed it, for Covid or any other reason.

If my dear friend told me she was having a baby and couldn't come to my wedding because it *wasn't safe*, I would be heartbroken, but not angry.

Unless she's hiding the real reason why she's angry... this is not a friend.

She's mad at you because you are pregnant, following doctors orders, and don't want to put yours and your unborn child's safety at risk? Doesn't sound like too good of a friend to me...

I would just tell her sorry but you really can't do anything about it.

Your friend is allowed to be devastated that you won't be able to be there, but she has no grounds to actually be mad at you.

Obviously you were happily going to participate in her original wedding plans and it seems like you would've been there for the rescheduled wedding if you could - so your support for her has not wavered.

I'm not sure how you initially told her or what her reaction was, but maybe she just needs a minute to process so that she can be in a more rational headspace. I get it - having to postpone your wedding sucks, and then not having an important person be able to be there anymore makes it harder.

But she can't expect other people to plan their babies around her wedding, and her happiness for you should outweigh the grief over her wedding.

One of my bridesmaids had been trying to get pregnant and was successful a couple months before my wedding. Even though my wedding took place early on in her pregnancy and travel was not an issue, I still reached out to her to tell her she had my full support if she no longer wanted to come (due to COVID, despite our small wedding + precautions, etc.).

She's had to push her own wedding back several times, now planned for 2022, and I may be in a similar situation baby-wise when it comes time for hers.

I would just have a conversation with her and explain that you have been supportive of her through this entire process and will continue to do so in any way that you can, reminding her that you would be there if you could, but doctor's orders and your health takes precedence. Hopefully she will come around and apologize and you two can move forward.

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Agreed with this!

it is what it is and to be angry at that is kind of ridiculous. i mean i understand disappointment but this is just too much to be angry for.