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March 2020

Anniversary Tier of wedding cake eaten 😢

Patricia, on March 10, 2020 at 10:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 36
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First I’ll admit I’m really having a hard time getting over this ... so please help me with your opinions, or at least hear me vent a little?
At our daughter’s wedding this past weekend, I was quite shocked (and very sad) to find that a guest had cut (and served to their table) the top tier of the wedding cake?! I had planned on preserving it for my daughter and son in law’s 1st anniversary.
The small but beautiful two tier wedding cake (made by another daughter) was the centerpiece of the dessert table, after the traditional cake cutting ceremony, and also surrounded by 100’s of assorted cupcakes meant for the guests. Dinner and dessert were buffet style btw, but ... since we overlooked removing their cake from sight, did this actually make it fair game for guests to eat?!I seriously can’t believe anyone would think it’s okay, to not only use the bride and groom’s keepsake knife and server, but to help themselves to the top tier of the cake and ruin a sweet tradition?!!!Worst part is ... it was my husband’s family that I noticed eating the slices, I love them too much to have called them out on it during the reception, and they really have no clue how sad I was (and still am). 😢

36 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on March 13, 2020 at 2:37 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Lots of people skip the “save the top tier so we can eat soggy frozen cake in a year” tradition, so they probably didn’t realize. Does your daughter even care about this?
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  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
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    That is pretty frustrating.


    Maybe this might help.... when I was looking into the why of wedding traditions, the saving of the cake was suppose to be to celebrate the couples first child since cakes were expensive to get.
    Perhaps getting a fresh mini version of the cake for their first anniversary would be a solution.
    I’m really sorry you’re upset.


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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    We didn’t do a wedding cake but all of my friends that did had a replica of their top tier remade for their first anniversary. They all said the cake doesn’t keep well and most people don’t do that anymore.
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  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
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    Most cakes really, really don't keep very well. Many people don't subscribe to that tradition. Though I understand the frustration of someone assuming they could cut into the cake, it's not a huge deal. One-year cake replicas are super popular now, so that could be a good option for her. Does your daughter feel strongly about this?

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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    I understand your sentiment, but the couple is not missing out. My mom froze her top tier, and she said it tasted like freezer burn and kimchi
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I definitely see how frustrating that can be if you were hoping to have it saved. However, as other posters have said, most people don't even save the top tier anymore. Our bakery will make you a replica for your anniversary for $25. Our venue actually packaged our top tier for us without asking and we threw it out since we had no intention of eating year old freezer cake.
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  • Shelby
    Expert November 2020
    Shelby ·
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    I am sorry you are upset about this 😕
    I agree with PP’s about getting a replica. As for my cake it is included as a “free” tier and we had 3 others tiers to work with for guests. However with the flavor we chose for our “year anniversary tier” I know it won’t make it that long so FH and I will probably just eat it throughout the week after the wedding lol.
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  • Erika
    Devoted August 2021
    Erika ·
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    Ooh. Being in the freezer for 1 year will definitely absorb the smell of whatever is around it.
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  • Devoted March 2021
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    Aw man.....I would be so upset too!! I’m sorry! That hurts a bit, and leaves a bad feeling in the tummy. But you can’t change what’s been done, just have to move forward and forgive their ignorance to the tradition. (I personally would not have used the special knife or cut the cake as a guest) I definitely would have opted for the cupcake, but that just means you and I are on the same page. What if you order a small cake in the same flavor and give it to them to store and eat on their anniversary. It will still be meaningful and special and will make you feel better being the one to provide that special moment for them, rather than it being a complete loss....chin up, mama people make mistakes.
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  • Erica
    Savvy June 2020
    Erica ·
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    We are not saving the top and freezing it. Everyone I have talked to said it’s not good after a year.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    I get being disappointed but they might not even care. I lot of couples (like me/husband) think eating a year-old cake is gross.
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  • Shana
    Dedicated October 2020
    Shana ·
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    Im sure it was an honest mistake! We’re having a small wedding and a two tier cake and plan on serving the whole cake at the wedding. It wasn’t important for us to save the top tier for our first anniversary as we plan on going to the same bakery on our one year to get new fresh cake/ cupcakes with our cake flavor. That way it’s fresh and it doesn’t have to take up room in the freezer for a year!
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  • Mrs. Araj
    Expert August 2018
    Mrs. Araj ·
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    I'm sorry this happened, but I will say the cake is pretty bad a year later. We recently had our top tier and I couldn't take more than a bite. It was stale and tasted weird from the flowers that were on it previously. I almost wish we served it at the wedding instead of wasting it since we couldn't eat it. I understand your frustration, but I think a replica at the 1 year anniversary is a much better option than saving the top tier.

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  • Lena
    Devoted May 2021
    Lena ·
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    Sorry that you're upset. I'm all about tradition but that just sounds kinda yucky. FH and I are going to get it replicated for our one year. Like people said above, cake is not meant to be frozen for a year. Smiley shame

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    Our baker asked if we wanted her to make an extra top tier for us to save (we're doing a "top tier" for us to cut and cupcakes for our guests). We said no thanks. We'll contact her in 11 months and ask her to make another one... I don't want old frozen cake.

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  • P
    March 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Thanks Caytlyn
    Although my daughter did want to save the cake top because it’s a funny tradition, she was so happy the whole wedding day that nothing really bothered her much. It’s more me, a little old fashioned haha, and I’m learning to let go. 😘


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  • Kate
    Expert October 2020
    Kate ·
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    Wow! That's rude. Not sure why anyone thought they had the right to do that. How off-putting. I do however understand the sentiment but maybe just pick a new cake up for them, they'd enjoy it more

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  • P
    March 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Hi Taylor!
    Haha yess I don’t think anyone really enjoys year old frozen cake 😝 It’s just a fun tradition of saving it and choking down one stale bite. Haha! I’m sure our other daughter who made the original, will bake a delicious anniversary cake for them too! Thanks for commenting!
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  • P
    March 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Hi Kate!
    I think I was just shocked, not really mad. It’s disappointing that old traditions aren’t honored any more and so easily forgotten. I know they didn’t mean bad, but just wanted cake over cupcakes (even tho the cupcakes were the same delicious recipe haha). Thanks for your thoughts, happy to see I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’ll let it go tho. ☺️
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  • P
    March 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Hi Lena!
    Yes you’re right that year old frozen cake is yucky, haha! 😜 Actually my husband and I only ate a bite of ours. Happy you still believe in the tradition tho. 💕
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