Annoyed with Fiancé...

My sex drive was sooooooooo much higher than H's when we first started dating. He had been working multiple jobs, was unhappy living at home with his mom, and in general said he never had a high sex drive even when he was younger. It was difficult for me to get over feeling rejected. Now almost 4 years later, our sex drives match thanks to me being on the pill. Some days when he's in the mood and I'm not, and knowing it's been a while between sessions, I will ask to pull out one of the games we have from Lover's Lane that helps make it a bonding experience.

Consider seeing a sex therapist as well during your pre-marital counseling (hopefully you're doing that!). They will help you compromise and also address any issues with sex and intimacy that may come up.

I think that's the big thing is working on making sure the lack of a sex drive isn't a rejection- I know it CAN feel like it- so communicating that you aren't rejecting them- you just aren't up for sex.

The other thing that is helpful for me- is communicating- I'm to tired- but can we do this instead (cuddle on the couch- can you rub my back- brush my hair- something to generate connection) and if it turns into sex great- but start with the expectation you just want intimacy without sex- and see if that helps. That to me is just as helpful because half the time- guess what- it turns into boning- and everyone wins.

So sorry you are having this issue. I wish FH wanted it all the time. I think I want it more than he does and am often sad that we don't have the honeymoon phase all over each other all the time sex like we used to. I think you just need to compromise. Give him a quick handy and move on.

PLEASE listen to others and read The 5 Love Languages! It's life changing.

DH and I used to have an insatiable sex connection when we first started dating. Then life and stress got in the way. It used to bother me but I've realized that the sex is super important, but it ebbs and flows like life. We go through periods of frequent sex (3 times a week) and periods of once every two weeks. It's also part of having been together so long that we can show affection in other ways, like if he does the dishes or folds laundry or we cuddle or something. He's not one for affection, so I know that when he snuggles with me on the couch or before bed, it's because he knows I need it and it makes me happy. Sometimes, sex drives are unequal and it's ok. That doesn't mean it hurts less when you try to initiate and it fizzles; I sometimes get upset when that happens too. But, it takes some work and effort from both sides to find a frequency that works for both of you.

I feel I have a much higher sex drive than FH. He works two jobs and I work near full time and am a senior in college so we're usually stressed and tired. When I'm stressed, I want to have that connection (and fun!) But when he's stressed, sex is the last thing on his mind. It used to really bother me but now if I feel like it's been a while, I'll mention it and that usually puts the idea in his head and he'll be into it in a few hours/next day. Honestly I wish we had sex every week (or once or twice a week) but it's more like a couple times a month. I feel like the odd one because i wish my FH wanted sex as much as "most men" do, but we're very affectionate every day so we're not lacking intimacy, just sex lol

We have the opposite problem. FH is Catholic and was a virgin when he got married. He was married 15 years and has 3 kids. They had sex less in 15 years than he and I have in 3 BUT he is very uninterested in sex. It's been a source of contention for our whole relationship. I was married for 17 years and XH and I did it 3-5 times a week for our whole marriage. We did it wherever and whenever. He lived lingerie and sex appeal. FH could care less about lingerie and he is embarrassed when I try to seduce him. He only has sex in the morning and usually it is very mechanical. NO foreplay. Just business. I have had my tubes tied so there is no issue with him finishing the job. It's just that I have to beg for sex and then I feel rejected when he turns me down. So OP, I can empathize with your FH.

I'm not sure it's wrong for him to be mad at you if you haven't had an honest conversation about it. I'm the opposite- I have a higher drive and sometimes it can really hurt my feelings- but the honest conversation about the different perspective is the most important starting point. He cannot expect you to do it if you're not in the mood, but you can't expect him to not feel hurt or WANT you if you haven't explained it to him fully. I third the love languages and also maybe an unbiased third party to help him understand your point of view and you, his.