Another Shower/registry Question

I've never heard of this. It sounds weird.

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Thank you, I found it weird too... It seems very "Showy" to me.

My mom said I had to "publicly thank everyone" but it just seems like a lot of thanking if I'm 1) Mailing a thank you note when I receive the gift. 2) thanking them when I see them in person after receiving the gift and 3) sending a thank you not after the shower.

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I don't think a public thank you is necessary. Like you said, it seems showy. Thank you cards are enough in my opinion.

I've never heard of this. Also if you send someone a thank you card now for their gift and they don't give you an additional gift at the shower, there's no need to send them another thank you card after the shower.

^ Definitely agree with Kelly on this. It would be weird to say 'Jasmine got us the toaster, thank you Jasmine' in front of everyone.

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Thank you, my mom said it to me like it was common knowledge.

The thank you note after the shower is a "thank you for coming to the shower" thank you lol

That sounds weird to me, and maybe this is just me being a little crazy, but it sounds a little privacy-violating to me. I know when I bring a gift to a shower it’s likely to be opened in public, and I plan accordingly. If I send something to someone’s home, I presume it is opened privately and might approach the gifting differently…not dramatically so, but like sometimes I might do something a little extra personal when it’s not a show!


Maybe a “compromise” would be announcing a blanket “and thank you to everyone who has already send a gift!” to appease mom without making a big thing out of it.

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Yes, that's what I was thinking as well!

Glad I'm not the only one who finds it weird and now I can tell my mom that people on the internet back me up lol

I didn’t have any gifts sent to my house. But, this seems very weird to me. I have never seen it done before. If you’re not comfortable with it, then don’t do it.

I ve never seen or heard that done before. What you can do is as you are going around to talk to people say , thank you so much for the gift you sent we can't wait to make smoothies with our new blender (or whatever they got you).

I've seen this done before a few times, but only when the shower is held in the bride's hometown/state and the gifts in question were mailed because they would have been too large to transport on a plane. Not saying that I agree with it, just that I've seen it done at least 3 or 4 times (when the bride is opening gifts, acknowledging the gifts she received that were mailed to her local address across the country). I have not seen the MOH make a formal public announcement, but I've definitely seen the bride do so while opening the other gifts

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That I could understand, my bridal shower is in my home state, with no out of state guests. The people who have mailed the gifts to me so far are people I see regularly (and have already thanked in person as I just saw them for the 4th of July)

To the point of McSkipper above, I feel like if a public thank you was super duper important to these people, they would have had the gifts delivered to them and brought them to the shower for me to open then.

Part of my uncomfiness may be that I already hate being the center of attention so having to open gifts in front of everyone is already something I'm dreading, and then having to sit there while my MOH reads off more gifts I got just adding time of all eyes on me is making me even more uncomfy.

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Then in that case, I wouldn't make any kind of public announcement. Just a one line "thank you to everyone who mailed gifts to my home" should suffice.

I sort of did that at mine because it was out of state, and a few guests had said that they had the gift sent to our place by mistake. We had "gift bingo" as one of our games, so I just played it off as "if you put towels on your board you can check that off because Aunt Sara sent them to us. Thank you Aunt Sara." I don't think I said anything if someone didn't come though.

This would never fly with our families and friends. Mom is incorrect that this is ‘common and expected everywhere”. Not only do you (and mom) embarrass yourself but you put others on the spot to be uncomfortable. Etiquette exists to prevent people from being uncomfortable so it is never outdated.


On the flip side, unless the shower is hosted by coworkers or fellow church members, the shower guests are already invited to the wedding before the shower invites are sent. A gift from a loved one or acquaintance wanting to share your happiness doesn’t require you giving them a wedding invitation as a thank you.

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....Not sure what you're referring in regards to giving a wedding invitation as a thank you?

This post is in regards to making a public announcement at my shower of gifts that were purchased by atendees but delivered to my house. i.e. FH aunt. grandma and cousin bought us a cookware set, at the shower as I'm opening gifts my MOH would announce "Aunt, Grandma Cousin purchased Bride a cookware set" I would then say "Thank you so much Aunt Grandma and cousin, I love them"

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Your initial posted said invitation instead of thank you note, I think thats what she's referring too. Let just blame it on auto correct hahaha. Have fun at your shower!

View Quoted Comment Oh Lordy, can’t wait for wedding planning to be over I’m so tired 🤣🤣 thank you ❤️

This seems quite odd. Personally I'm not a fan of opening presents in front of everyone anyways (my MOH knows this and is planning my shower to not have enough time to do so). I'd rather open it at home, with my fiancé (who won't be at my shower) and send a heartfelt note after.

Announcing each individual gift that has arrived to your home seems showy and could potentially be almost a shame tactic - if someone else didn't get a gift as "good" or "expensive" as another - it could be used to make the gift giver feel bad.

I say stick to your guts. If it feels odd and wrong, then that's probably because it is.

View Quoted Comment Those thank yous are private between you and the gift giver. Your shower guests don’t need or want to know what other people sent to your home at another time.


Also your original post does say you plan to send wedding invitations after you receive shower gifts, so that is the source of confusion. And is considered impolite in some social circles to go in that order.