Anxiety Management

I deal with chronic anxiety too! Take deep breaths and only worry about the tasks that you need to do today. I stressed myself out by looking at tasks that needed to be done 2 to 3 months out when I was 6 months out from the wedding. Take lavender baths and do some things that relax you. As far as pricing is concerned, there are ways to cut so just breath. I'm doing my wedding for $10,000, 150 guests. I can give budget cutting advice if you want. $20,000 is certainly enough to have a beautiful wedding!

What specifically are you anxious about? Once you pinpoint that, take a step back and truly analyze it. You’ll see that in the grand scheme of things, no aspect of wedding planning is life or death. Also, anxiety can be reduced by simply having a wedding that you can afford and fits within $20k (which might mean reducing the guest count, selecting certain venues and certain vendors).

I get the anxiety and it does suck how expensive things really are. Like the ladies have said pinpoint your worries and also take a step back and plan little by little. I hope I do not sound harsh but something to tell yourself is that the wedding is one day. IMO do not go into debt over it. You can easily reduce the budget like the others have said. Pinterest has been helpful for me. There are articles or blogs what give great tips on how to cut back. The biggest expenditure will be the reception. I think focus on the aspect that you are marrying the love of your life and that is what makes the day special...not how much you spend. Many of us have thought of our dream wedding but sadly it can be so expensive. 20K is definitely an amount you can work with. Start by looking for affordable venues with reasonably priced catering or you could find a venue that will allow outside caterers. Another option is to look at parks or beaches or gardens for the ceremony as some of them are fairly affordable then do the reception at a restaurant or cater and book a place with a kitchen. Look at country clubs too because some are not too bad. My friend said her wedding was $5,000 and she had the ceremony and buffet reception at a country club. Consider having the wedding on a day that is not Friday or Saturday. I hope this helps and don't let this stress you out. If it does, take a step back and have a nice glass of wine and spend quality time with friends or your FH.

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I'm not sure where your friend got married, but the cheapest venue I could find in Maryland for an evening wedding was $5,000. Weekday wedding venues are still around $3,000.

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Hi Kelsie! We're only inviting 100 people.

From all the research I've done, venues are between $5k and $6k, photographers (we want a decent one) are at around $3k. Catering is at least $5k for a buffet-style meal, potentially double that (linens and china included), and DJs are looking to be a little over $1k. I'm planning on getting my dress at a second-hand store so hopefully it won't be as expensive as it could be! I'd love whatever advice you have! We're going to make all of our decorations ourselves.

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I've been looking everywhere for cost-effective catering, but it's proving incredibly difficult to keep it both affordable and not tacky. I think what I'm most anxious about is the weather. We have a tent company on standby, but I'm really hoping it's a nice day!

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Florida...Tampa Bay. Is that $5,000 just for the ceremony or ceremony and reception? There are some that price here in Florida too lol.

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For both, and it's on the cheaper end for Maryland. I've contacted every venue I can find and they're all in the range of $5-8k. The more expensive ones are $8-13k. Most venues require you to use their catering or a caterer from their pre-approved list. Some have minimum catering charges.

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Yeah that is what I have encountered. May I ask how many people you plan to invite? If it is a very small wedding then $5,000 would be too much but if it is in the double digits then it might be worth it depending what it comes with.

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100 people!

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Honestly if it is $5K at the venue for ceremony and that includes the reception that is not a bad price. Does that reception price come with food. Even $10K could be good for 100 people and it still gives you $10K to spare. I am not trying to give you more anxiety but venues are not cheap so if you want to stick within budget you should start with which portions of the wedding are most important (photography, venue, etc...) and budget for that. I am sure in Maryland there are some more budget friendly venue. Have you checked hotels or even outside places like gardens or rooftops?

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What kind of venue are you wanting and looking at? I know not everyone has this option for them, but we reserved our reception at my parent's church and they are only asking $100. My ceremony venue fee is waived because I used to work there, but if it wasn't waived it would have been $1,200 for a 3 hour reservation at a Chapel on Penn State's campus. When it comes to venues, you may be able to find something that is still beautiful that isn't advertised a lot for weddings and that will bring the price down.

$3k is perfect for the photographer! I wouldn't skimp on that. I'm paying $2k and it is worth every penny since you will be looking at the photos for the rest of your life.

The catering I've heard is about $5k. What we are doing is we have a close family friend who is a fantastic cook. She is catering our wedding and only charging us for the food. We are doing a buffet style taco bar for 150 guests and she estimates about $600 for everything. I'm paying her an extra $200 as a gift. But we are saving thousands. If you don't have a friend, there may be a great caterer out there who is cheaper. I feel like $5k is slightly pricey for 100 people buffet style. But that also depends on what kind of food you're wanting. Also, I don't know what look you are going for with dinnerware, but we opted out of glass. We are doing the fancy plastic and we're ordering it from amazon. It will be around $400. We are putting a couple of bells on the tables for guests to ring when they want us to kiss. Saving a lot there! Another way to cut costs is to not rent tables unless your venue doesn't come with them. I wanted circular, but our venue only has rectangular. So I switched up my centerpieces and went with the rectangular. We are also making our own dance floor out of vinyl wood, you that fake stuff that pieces together , for $350. That's a 20 x 25, which we would have had to rent for $1500.

I'm using my old dance instructor who also DJs weddings as my DJ. Because I know him, he is giving me a discount. I'm only paying $600 for 5 hours. So probably, $1k for a DJ is about right. But you might be able to find a friend to do that too. I was in a wedding where the DJ was a friend of the couple and it was great!

Stationary is a great place to cut costs! I got 100 save the dates from shutterfly with 6 pics on them for $101 I believe. It wasn't over $130. Then I got a digital download of my invitation from Etsy for $19 and I will print myself at home. The invitation paper with the envelopes, 100 count, was $20 at Joanns. (Joanns has some great wedding things btw. So does hobby lobby). The rsvp card I got from etsy as well for $4. It's a digital download and I'll print it. The envelopes for those I will get from walmart for around $6 for a 100 count. The stamps are going to be the most expensive thing we pay for. I got 180 or so for $101. I'm not stamping the rsvp envelope to help save some money there.

Are you having flowers? I know some great ways to save on that too!

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Hi Kelsie!

We want the ceremony and reception to be in the same place. The venue we found isn't primarily a wedding venue, so it's the cheapest around (Maryland is one of the most expensive states to get married in). They have a flat fee, so there's no price differential between doing the ceremony somewhere else and doing it there.

It's good to know that that's a fair price for a photographer! I definitely do not want to skimp on that! Is it worth getting a package that includes a professional photo book, or would it be best just to make our own on Shutterfly?

Thankfully I was referred to a great caterer who can work with our budget! The places I had talked to before were charging $13/pp for china alone! He charges $3 for all china needed (plates. flatware, cups, mugs, etc.). He also doesn't charge extra for a champagne toast or cake cutting! Such a relief!

A friend from church referred us to a DJ, but they're still over $2k. I'm not great at "shopping" for a DJ because I have no idea what I'm looking for. Ability to mix songs is less important to me than the energy and vibe that they bring.

Because the engagement is relatively short, would it be tacky to skip the save the dates and just send out invitations a little early? We're only inviting 100 people and 80% of them are family who have already been told when the wedding is. That would save us money on postage (although perhaps that's getting too stingy, as in the scheme of things, $100 is not a substantial expense)

We'll have bouquets. I'm thinking of doing wooden flowers. For the decorative pieces, we'll do affordable greenery. I was told that it's best to go to a grocery store florist, as opposed to a stand-alone professional. Would you agree?

Thanks!

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Hi!!

Yes, Maryland is expensive! If your venue is between $5k and $6k for your ceremony and reception, I don't think that is a bad price. Especially being a flat fee. Does anything else come with that, or is that just for the space?

Yes, you can get a great photography package with $3k! You might pay more for the book if you go through the photographer. We got a photo book for maybe $50 through shutterfly. It was really easy for us to do that though because our photographer uploaded our photos onto shutterfly. We have our own little website on there. But it should still be easy for you and I loved making the book with my fiance! It was so fun!

$13 pp!!! What!?!? That's crazy!! I'm glad you found a great caterer! Is that the $5k one? $3 pp for all of the china is a fantastic price!!

$2k I feel is pricey, but that also depends on what they come with. Does the DJ have lighting that they bring or does your venue supply that? I totally understand the vibe and energy. I would maybe keep looking to see if you can find a cheaper DJ. Our DJ is allowing us to pick all of our songs, so he isn't doing the mixing so much as helping the flow of the reception and keeping the vibe. Our reception is more relaxed. We aren't really the hype party people. As ballroom dancers, we want something more relaxed.

For Maryland, flowers will certainly be different than my experience. We are getting married in PA. I was referred from someone at church (maybe ask around church) a local stand alone florist who is doing 4 bridesmaids bouquets, one bride bouquet, 5 corsages, 11 boutonnieres, 10 hydrangea balls for the pews, a unity candle arrangement, and 19 greenery garland centerpieces. Our flowers are hydrangea and roses. Delivery and set up included, we're paying $1300. So super affordable for everything we're getting! And then we don't have the stress of worrying about it. A grocery store florist might be cheaper. You will want to ask if they deliver because if not, plans will have to be made for that. You can buy flowers in bulk from Sams, and do them yourself. I was going to do that, but I was stressing out from trying to choose. And that was going to be about the same price as the florist I found. I will say, that finding flowers that have volume to the buds, like hydrangeas, will help keep costs down because the bud takes up more room. Then you don't have to buy as many stems. We are doing hydrangeas with a few roses here and there. Greenery is definitely the way to go to cut costs there as well! The size of the wedding party will also be a determining factor. We only have 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have more questions

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The venue includes full-day use of a bridal room (it's more like an apartment: fridge, kitchen, shower, etc.,), a room for the groom and his party, a venue coordinator and event coordinator who set up and tear down all the decorations, multiple fire pits with fire wood, servers for the wine (it's at a vineyard), and a 10% discount on all wine purchased for and leading up to the wedding (best wine in Maryland!). The ceremony starts after the winery closes, so we'll have access to the entire area. It's a lovely space!

Yes, this is the caterer that I priced at $5k. We haven't set the menu yet and so we don't have an official price quote, but he stated that he won't exceed our set budget in his proposals, so it may be less than estimated.

We don't necessarily want "dance lighting", as the venue already has really nice string lighting that matches the ambiance better. We're also not big dancers, but we do want to have fun. It would probably be best for us to get a DJ that doesn't do live mixing, as that will be more affordable. We're mostly going to hire the DJ for the personality and energy, not for their mixing skills.

That's a great idea to ask around Church. We attend a relatively large church so I'm sure there's a good talent pool there. A lot of our friends from church are married, and we've asked them for recommendations, but they definitely had larger budgets than we do! I only have three in my party, and my fiance has two, so it's an intimate group.

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Oh my gosh, that is a fantastic deal for the venue! Definitely won't find anything like that for much cheaper! That is a wonderful package!

I think that caterer is a good idea and that's wonderful that he will work with you! My florist was the same way!

If you don't want lighting from your DJ or live mixing, then I think you can find a cheaper one than $2k. Were you planning on using them for your ceremony or just the reception?

The intimate group will help with help with the price of flowers. Referrals and recommendations are the best way to go! You get the best deals that way sometimes!

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We'll need the DJ for both, as we need the sound equipment for the ceremony. They won't necessarily have to do anything during the ceremony except manage sound levels.

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About how many hours would you be using the DJ then? $1k may be a decent price if you're using them most of the day.

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It'd be 4pm - 11:30pm

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6.5 hours is a good chunk of time. I think $1k is probably good to shoot for. But if you can find cheaper, that's always a plus!