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Gen
Champion June 2019

Anxious about the bachelor party...

Gen, on November 27, 2018 at 3:51 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 13
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I’m in an anxious mess of my own making lol.

My FH has always wanted a great bachelor party, but since 3/4 of his groomsmen are from out of town, he settled for a nice dinner and a few local bars a couple days before the wedding.

Me, wanting him to be happy, coordinated with his best man to have all of the groomsmen surprise him by flying in 6 weeks before the wedding to throw him a full on bachelor party. I told them they were welcome to stay with us, and I figured they’d spend some time in NYC too (we live about an hour away).

So now, his best man comes back to me and says this is actually working out, all the guys said they could make it, and they’re about to book their flights and a hotel in the city for a night.

I know, I literally arranged this myself, what the heck do I have to complain about? I was really excited for my FH to get his party and to see how happy he’d get when he was surprised. But now that this is fully coming together I’m feeling a pit in my stomach, an unbelievable amount of anxiety because his friends aren’t the most responsible (and FH is pretty easily influenced) and I guess I was hoping they would just stay with us and not in a hotel so I’d know he was coming home at the end of the night, but I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the anxiety of him partying in the city all weekend and not coming home until Sunday night.

I’m overreacting, and being selfish, and if I was going to have this much anxiety I shouldn’t have arranged this, right? Well now it’s too late to turn back. I want more than anything to talk to my FH about my anxieties and to have him talk me down from it, but, that would ruin the surprise ☹️ Kinda just need a place to rant. I know I’m being irrational I’m just feeling so much stress about this and regretting my own idea.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Gen, on November 28, 2018 at 12:31 PM
  • Official Mrs.K
    Devoted May 2019
    Official Mrs.K ·
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    This is the perfect place to come to rant/vent! It sounds like you put a lot of thought into making sure that your FH will have a great time. I know the plans evolved outside of your comfort zone but as long as you trust your FH you will have to let go and let him enjoy his time. And yes I do recognize that is easier said than done! I would recommend that you schedule some time with girlfriends or otherwise keep yourself busy that weekend so you aren’t just sitting around driving yourself crazy.

    Good of luck and remember that we are all here for you ( and most of us will likely be in the same boat as you over the coming months) so come back and vent as you need it!
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  • Kodi
    Super April 2019
    Kodi ·
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    Right, if you didn't want him to have a fun night with his friends then you should have done nothing. Which what you did is amazing and he will totally love it!! I'm sure his friends wouldn't make him do anything to sacrifice yalls relationship and i'm sure your FH wouldn't either.

    My FH was a couple wildddd friends, they love me though and love us together, they would never put fh in that position.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    No I’m not worried about anything that would sacrifice the relationship, I’m mostly just worried about him drinking too much, and not being physically safe. He tends to be easily swayed into drinking a lot. And a lot of areas of NYC are not safe, and he tends to be pretty oblivious to stuff like that
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Thank you!! I’m just so mad at myself for putting myself in this situation, and then even more mad at myself for just not being able to let go my worries and be actually happy that it’s working out for them?

    His best man is looking into hotels in NYC right now though and realizing how expensive they are and I’m selfishly hoping maybe they’ll bail on the hotel idea and just come home after spending the evening out... the issue is, I KNOW my FH would be good with coming home after (he’d probably prefer it) but obviously he’s not part of the plans for this, and I don’t want to be a wet blanket on his best man by telling them to come home 😂 ugh. Why did I do this to myself
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  • Kodi
    Super April 2019
    Kodi ·
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    Okay gotcha, I guess when the time come yall can have a talk about that and maybe mention it to the guys?

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  • starsinwaves
    VIP November 2018
    starsinwaves ·
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    NYC is totally safe and he's a grown man... he'll be fine. It's just one night.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    He literally threw up from drinking too much 2 months ago after just being at a quiet bar with me, so I’m not so sure about that lol.

    I just felt like my mind would be more at ease knowing that’d he’d come back at the end of the night.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would just trust your fiance, I'm sure everything will be totally fine. My fiance is going to San Diego for a weekend with 11 other guys, most of them single & they all drink A TON. You just have to be confident your fiance will be faithful and a good man to you, like he should be in all scenarios throughout your marriage. I agree though, venting to Wedding Wire & friends/family is a good way to be able to discuss it and not ruin the surprise.

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  • S
    Devoted March 2019
    Sashy ·
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    I think the only thing you did wrong was assume that they would want to stay with you guys ad opposed to boiking a hotel lol. But besides that what you did for him was very thoughtful and I'm sure he'll love it. When the time comes talk to him about your concerns and hopefully he'll keep it in mind, not get swayed by his friends and be responsible with his drinking.
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  • Eamsee
    Super June 2019
    Eamsee ·
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    Where outside of NYC are you? I am in Putnam county NY. I think getting a hotel room would be wise, as this way no one has to worry about a DD or catching the last train home for the night. What about a car rental service and staying in a hotel somewhere just outside the city, such as Yonkers? I'm not too familiar with the NJ side.

    I agree with the PP that suggested doing something with your ladies that same weekend. If you're out and about having fun as well, then you are less likely to let the anxiety creep on in. Plus, with him being out himself, it gives you free reign to do what you like. I once went to a "hen party" that was hosted at the couples home while the groom was away with the fellas. We had a spa, chocolate, and wine party and slept over. It was a great time.

    I think what you did for him is awesome and he is going to be so thrilled!

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  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
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    What are you concerned about? picking fights? Falling off a bridge? Hes going with his 4 friends. Even if they're encouraging him to drink I would hope they would make sure he finds his way home. Plus isn't it a better idea to stay in a nearby hotel instead of relying on them to have a dd vs an irresponsible friend drive the hour back to you?
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  • B
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    I'm sort of in the same boat Smiley smile just remind yourself that he's going to have all these people there that will be watching out for him. Traveling in a crowd is always better than being alone, crime-wise. And it's his bachelor party, no one will let anything happen to him, he's the guest of honor! The fact that they have a hotel in the city should give you some peace of mind. I can't imagine navigating and coming home from the city drunk. I got on the wrong train home just last week after we saw the Macy's balloon inflation and I was sober! lol as others have said, keep yourself busy that weekend. Wedding DIYs? Going out with friends, maybe a Paint Nite or something? Hang in there, it'll be over before you know it!

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Thank you all! I know I was overreacting to begin with haha I think I just needed to talk it out! I appreciate the responses, I’m feeling much better about it today, I’m sure it’ll be fine and I genuinely want them to have a great time Smiley smile
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