Anxious & need help

Only you and your fiance can decide what your budget is that you are comfortable spending and the priorities you focus on. Do not feel pressured to spend the national average if you have *any* doubts. If you have to question it or justify it in the slightest, then it sounds like it's outside your comfort zone and budget. So instead look outside the box until you find something that doesn't make you question anything. The same goes for all your other vendors.


Take a look at Eventective.com and browse there until you find something you love that you don't have any hesitation in paying for.
Lower price (because they don't pay $$$ to advertise on WW or big sites) quality vendors can be found at Thumbtack.com or on Instagram.

Agree- you two need to discuss the budget, what you feel comfortable spending, what are you must haves, etc.
My fiancé & I own our home, all the kids (from separate relationships) are out of the house & have good jobs (his pays better, mine pays for vacations). I suggested having our wedding before a cruise & the cruise be our honeymoon, he vetoed that idea. He wants the whole wedding celebration which means we’re paying around $15000 for approximately 90 guests. That amount includes venue, set up/take down, DJ, photographer, caterer, flowers, cake, invitations, centerpieces, table cloths, plates, glasses & utensils. I stayed within budget for my dress but we still need to get his suit, the alcohol & a few other things. He wants this &, secretly, I’m glad he does. I’ve been married but have never felt like a bride.
What it boils down to is do what your comfortable with.

Well, I can tell you, if the venue alone is $10,000 you’ll be around $25,000. Our food and beverage was $10,000. Our vendors were $15,000 lol hair and make up artist for 5 of us $1,000, wedding planner $2,000, flowers $2,000, officiant $500, videographer $1,500, photographer $3,000, transportation $1,100, tips, etc! Oh and we saved $2,000 by having no DJ. So, I guess it depends on if you want good vendors or not.
Best wishes!

If eloping in someones backyard or renting out a hall is more your style then do that. Eloping is also most definitely a thing and you would be just as married as anyone else. I agree with you, its kinda gross how much money is spent on one day. But bottom line just do what you want without being pressured into something

Here are the things that are required for a wedding:

1. The couple

2. The license/officiant

3. Food for any guests you may have

Please note: this list does not include the words "fancy", "expensive", "formal", "big", or anything else the magazines and Pinterest push on you.

Have the wedding YOU want, at the budget you are comfortable spending.

If that's pizza and a backyard wedding, sounds great, I'll throw on a nice shirt and enjoy some pizza!

If that's a fancy, big dinner, cool, I have fabulous cocktail dresses.

My FH will be at 9 years on Thursday (and getting married Saturday) and lived together for 8 of those years. I understand your plight. We never planned on having a big fancy wedding. We have stuck to a $5,000 budget. Our original guest list was 80 (but covid has cut that to 42). I found a venue/banquet hall in one of our county parks. I used Thumbtack to find my photographer and bartender. We met while I was working part time for a DJ, so we were able to find a deal there. Our florist/decor guru/day of coordinator is FH's aunt who is amazing at those things (she is a Facilities Coordinator at a large church). That being said we did splurge a things that we wanted to as we went through our planning.

As others have said, you guys need to set your budget for what will work for you. Its okay to not use super expensive vendors for everything. My wedding won't be fancy, but it will be beautiful and special to us.

In all honesty... The only way to feel “good” about spending on a wedding is to select a maximum amount that you’re truly comfortable with blowing. To me, it’s like gambling at the casino... you only bet the amount of money that you’re willing to lose. That amount is different for everyone and it sounds like the country club is outside of your comfort zone. But it’s your love for the venue that’s making you even consider it. Personally, I don’t think that’s the best approach to wedding planning. If you’re searching for ways to feel better about the amount and trying to justify it, then it’s probably better to decrease your budget and have a wedding that you won’t regret the day after it’s over.

I agree with PPs. Determine the amount of money you are comfortable with/feel good about spending on the wedding, and plan within that number. There are many brides like you who can’t justify spending a lot of money on “just one day”. Then there are other brides who would probably justify taking out a second mortgage to fund their wedding LOL Everyone is different, and there is no single “right” way to throw a wedding. Just plan the wedding that is right for you.

When i was planning my wedding, i remember feeling so discouraged by the costs of it all too. initially our budget i set was around 8-10k and then i realized it had to increase for the wedding we wanted so i thought about how much am i comfortable with spending vs what's the least amount of money i can spend aha. so when i thought about how much i am ok with spending then i was able to increase my budget up