Any advice before marriage?

I think each couple has to find a financial plan that works best for them. Some couples work best by combining all finances, and letting one person handle the bill payments and such. Others prefer to keep their finances completely separate for multiple reasons. I feel like many people are somewhere in the middle - getting a combined account, but also keeping separate accounts. There's nothing wrong with any of the above solutions, and there's not really a universal right/wrong answer as to what works best. I truly think it depends on the couple and their unique financial situation. If keeping a separate account works for you, I say go for it!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing Melle and thank you for being a positive rockstar.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing your advice on this.

What type of emergency? Any “emergency” that happens should be something you and your FH deal with together as a married couple. Personally I keep a separate account so I can buy him gifts and stuff without him seeing lol

View Quoted Comment Hmmm. One example that I can tgink of not for me but for FH is when his parents or brother ask him for money. I believe in helping others but not ENABLING. Idk all the details with his parents but in the past, his brother who is pushing 45 and still lives with several roommates even though he has a child and grandchild who he did/does not take care of would spend up to $500 for concert tickets but not make his car payment. He would get behind abd ask FH for money. I do NOT take care of grown men who have a job and just refuse to pay bills. Sooooo, I would not want money given to FH'S brother to come out of pur joint account.

View Quoted Comment Well I guess in that case it just depends on if you and your partner separate finances or not. Because if you dont, even if he has a separate account youre pretty much paying the brother’s bills too. since you both pay bills together, that money could have been going to your bills.

I Think Its Always Good To Have Your Own Account.
Me And Husband Dont Have Any Joined Accounts, But We Pay For Everything Equally And Are Open About Our Finances.

View Quoted Comment I used that word because you said "for emergencies".


To me, this implies secret/ escape account/ lack of trust, because you should face emergencies together. If you have one for yourself, and just yourself, that raises a lot of alarm bells for me.
As I said, I have my own accounts. But they are not just for emergencies, they are my accounts.

View Quoted Comment The word emergency was just an example. Please ask for clarification in the future before making assumptions and writing words that I did not use. Many times when you respond to my forums you offend me. :-(

View Quoted Comment Okay thanks for your opinion.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing and being polite.

Do what works for you as far as bank accounts go. We do separate, no joint accounts, but we talk about how much we have. Maybe we'll get a joint in addition to our separate ones down the line, but not now. Also, even if someone had a "secret" or "emergency" account, who cares as long as you and your spouse aren't not suffering? Those accounts have saved many people from various financial ruin.


With that out of the way, there's more to financial planning than just bank accounts. No one wants to talk about end of life while planning a wedding, but it's so important to ensure you're preparing now for retirement, the unexpected, and eventual passing. ❤

Make sure your 401K/pension/retirement fund has your spouse as the primary beneficiary. If you plan on sharing that money with other relatives, talk about it. (Some states require your spouse to agree to that.) If you plan on buying a house, ensure that both of your names are on the deed and that it passes to the surviving spouse upon death. Get life insurance! The younger you get it, the cheaper it is. Speaking of insurance, look at your health insurance and see whose insurance you'll use. Depending on your health, family, and finances, it could be cheaper to stay separate. Review your open enrollment periods to see when you can switch if you need to change (eg, decide to switch from one person's plan to the other's).

Make sure you have a living will that you update periodically and after any life event (like childbirth). You should also include any info about your preferences in case you're unable to speak for yourself, and make sure your spouse agrees to follow them. A trust may be an even better financial option; talk to a financial advisor about this.

I know this is a lot, but I hope it helps! I wish you a wonderful, financially fruitful marriage!

View Quoted Comment

It's still a valid point - separate, but they know it's there, cool - secret is a red flag.

View Quoted Comment Okay cool.

We have joint finances. We have a joint checking where our paychecks are deposited and we pay our bills out of it as well. We also have a joint savings for our emergency fund and we share credit cards. We each have an individual checking account for “fun money.” We have a line item in our budget for “fun money” every month. Each person gets the same amount. If you don’t spend it all, you get to save the rest in your personal account. If you go over your budget, you pay the joint account back the overage from your personal account. We literally never ever fight about finances and I credit it to us having such transparent finances, having a budget we mutually agree on, having goals we are working toward together, but also having complete autonomy with our “fun money.” Husband usually buys fishing gear with his and I usually spend mine on books and clothes.