Any Catholics feeling guilty?

I was raised and confirmed Catholic but am no longer practicing. We're getting married in a Methodist church. No guilt whatsoever. The Catholic ideology is not something I agree with anymore, so it wouldn't be right for us to get married there.

The deposit is only $150 so financially, not a big deal. But if we did switch churches the church would cost more and the pre Cana classes are an added expense.

Reasons I didn't like the priest:

1. He totally skipped their unity ceremony because they were 10 min late

2. He mispronounced their name repeatedly

3. He poked fun at the guests for not know when to say amen, sit or stand etc

4. He stopped in the middle of the ceremony because the photog went on the alter he said into the mic "are you done? I'll wait for you to finish"

If you both become practicing Catholics the Church might let you get married there. You have time for him to go to class and get confirmed and complete a marriage class. Is that something you would want to do?

FH has no desire to get confirmed and I wouldn't make him. He comes with me on Easter and Christmas because it means something to me but he isn't even sure if he believes in God. My church already turned us down unless he got got confirmed.

And yes, we've already had discussions about how we will raise our kids and it won't be any issues for us.

It's not something that's super important to me, I love the little church we booked. Just every now and then I feel some pangs.

@RATR I know what you on that front. I guess I'm semi-practicing? There's a ton that I don't agree with the church about. I'm a pretty liberal person on social issues.

I'm kinda confused by this, because the Catholic Church has 3 rites of marriage so that a Catholic could marry a non-Catholic or a non-baptized person and still have the marriage recognized by the Church. They won't even let you have a Catholic ceremony outside of a Mass? My FSIL (Catholic) and her fiance (Christian not Catholic) are getting married in the Church

@cmc the church itself can make the decision. They can deny people the right to get married there. Even without a catholic mass my church won't let us. The Catholic church that will let us would make us do a non-full mass. It just depends on the individual church. The two churches are even in the same diocese but I guess it's at the discretion of the priest.

But the Catholic church that will allow us to has a priest I'm not so crazy about.

I don't know why you would feel guilty for not doing something you already don't.

I am as my grandmother would say a fallen Catholic. I am so by choice not laziness or happenstance and I have no guilt. I am getting married by a jop and happy for it.

@erin I know, that's why I feel like it's silly because I don't go to church regularly. I know I should just suck it up because our officiant is wonderful and at the end of the day I'll still be married. I think because it's something I always pictures growing up, the big Catholic wedding? Maybe? Idk.

ETA: just trying to see if there's anyone who can relate.

@BeachBride oh wow, I didn't know that individual churches had that power! That sucks so much. Would you be able to have a different priest marry you, or only a priest from that parish?

I hear you with feeling guilty. I've done all the sacraments in the church before marriage, and so has FH in Peru where he grew up. Honestly, as dumb as this sounds now, I had no idea about Catholics getting married in the church by a priest as I was pretty out of the loop on this growing up. It was only after we booked our venue did a few people reach out and ask why we weren't going with a Catholic church. Faith is something that's important to me, so after our wedding I really want to get married in the eyes of the church at some point. Definitely something small where it may only be me and FH though.

Even when I was practicing, I knew I'd never get married in a church. Always wanted an outdoor wedding. Never felt guilty because my justification is, "God created the Earth. God created nature." so it shouldn't matter that I didn't get married in a man-made building. But that's just me. Now that I identify agnostic I definitely don't feel guilt lol. My mom still tries though...

@cmc hmm that's a good idea, i could look into that. I've been to mass that he's done before and I've liked him then, he just really turned me off when he did their wedding. It was 2 years ago and we still talk about how bad he was.

I should just get over it and get married at the historical church we have booked and move on...

I'm thinking about having someone do a reading from the bible to incorporate it? And the officiant can make it as religious or non-religious as we want.... Hmm

Based on what he did at the other wedding I wouldn't want him either lol

I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, baptized, confirmed, church every Sunday until I was 15. The whole deal. I always hated it, I have never been religious. I can count on two hands the number of times I've been in a church in the last 10 years. Personally I think it would be a slap in the face to people who actually believe in religion if I got married in a church so no I feel no guilt about not having a Catholic wedding. My parents don't go to church anymore either so they don't care. Not sure how they'll feel when we don't baptize our kids though...

I was raised Catholic but actually turned away when a priest told me I was going to hell. The hypocrisy was something I just couldn't get over. I know that some Catholic priests will perform the ceremony outside of the church, that could be a good compromise for you. Because both DH and I are believers (we believe in God and Jesus but don't have a church), I included aspects of faith and Bible quotes in our ceremony without having a "religious" ceremony (my FIL got ordained so he could officiate our wedding. I was lucky in that I was able to write the ceremony I wanted with FIL just making sure I included all the required points).

I was raised Baptist, but am now a confirmed Catholic. FH, also raised Baptist, goes to a nondenominational church. I have guilt because I joined the church and now won't be getting married there. However, I urge you to not use a priest that is rude and who you do not like. You should be married by someone you feel comfortable with, if not have a personal connection to. I would suggest to stick with your venue or contact the office of your Diocese for help.

That's crazy. The church we got married in was only concerned about Baptism... I was never confirmed but was Baptized and it was fine with them.