Any decisions that people think is weird?

My dress is... 95% black. Haven't gotten a ton of "huh." about that yet but once people actually see it? Fully expect that to be the reaction.

We also aren't inviting my family due to the wedding being on the other side of the country and 2 weeks before Christmas (we're having a second reception a few months later back east). I get a LOT of "Oh. Wow." when people find out only my parents are being invited from my family - especially when they find out that includes my sibling.

I've gotten a lot of questions about why I'm not taking my fiance's last name, and also about why we're choosing to walk down the aisle together. Most of these have been from family members who are way more traditional, and they expected me to be the same way, so they were surprised to hear that we decided to do things differently.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh, we are doing the exact same thing! Destination wedding, not inviting family other than our parents and siblings (but we are inviting our closest friends), and I’m wearing a 100% black dress! No one knows the color of my dress, so no comments on it. And my family (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.), aren’t aware they won’t be invited… so who knows what that reaction is going to be lol

Our first dance is going to be to a Wayne Brady song. Everyone has asked if I was kidding or if we were planning to dance to a clip from Who's Line Is It Anyway, but the man can actually sing REALLY well!

I've also gotten some flack from my side for planning on taking my fiancé's last name, but I think that's mostly just them being concerned about carrying on the family name or keeping my professional accomplishments in the family or whatever. Oh well 🤷‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I have a feeling I will get the same response when people find out I’m not taking fiancé’s last name either. I love how many modern women are deciding to keep their own names and identities!

View Quoted Comment That awesome! We sent out an “East Coast Save The Date” when we sent out our other ones, because I knew my family would be asking about when and where. My mom’s gotten some people who are disappointed we aren’t inviting them, but we have agreed to zoom it, so people on the east coast can watch the ceremony. I’m waiting to see if my sibling (who I don’t get along with) realizes they’re not getting a wedding invite to the actual ceremony…


I’ve also gotten some shocked responses as well to the fact that I’m taking his name (just not professionally cause getting a new work email is annoying). What makes me go “what?!” Is when the women who are SHOCKED I’m taking his name .. all took their husbands’ name.

I get a weird look or questions when we say we’re doing a first look and taking bridal party pictures before the ceremony. I think our parents/grandparents generation and pretty much anyone not up to date on current wedding traditions don’t know what it is and don’t know that it’s actually more common than they think.
But I’m honestly so excited for the first look, I feel like we’ll be able to spend a lot more time together during the day because of it!

We didn't attend the cocktail hour, and had a private dinner instead.
Got married 2 weeks before the big wedding.
No family in the processional.Hubby walked back up the aisle as I walked down and we met halfway to walk the rest together."Family dance" rather than mother/son and father/daughter.

View Quoted Comment Haha! I love that someone actually thought you would dance to a clip of whose line is it anyway 😆

View Quoted Comment I think it’s pretty cool that people are shocked that you ARE taking his name! Usually people are just beside themselves when they find out the woman isn’t changing her name. It just shows that society is finally coming around to the idea of it being a choice, not just a given.


Also, I would looooove to see your dress!!

Im sure I will get some looks for my dress which has black lace and I know that a lot of people who know me really well are expecting me to go full Halloween because I absolutely love Halloween (I was absolutely tempted!) But I am going with a more "classic goth" look. Lots of black red and purple colors with pops of orange and white. Lots of roses.

My father said it was “weird” that I wanted to address the invitation envelopes like “Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe” instead of the traditional “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe”. I said the woman deserves to see her own name on the envelope, she’s not owned by her husband, and that her name is not <insert man’s name>. His response was “Well that’s just the way it’s always been done!”
Funny how it’s 2022 and misogynistic traditions are still clinging on….
I asked our DJ to announce us as “Mrs. Erin and Mr. Alex <last name>” at the reception. I’m not sorry…

For us its that we're taking my partner's mother's maiden name instead of one of our surnames.

We both have quite negative histories with our fathers and so we decided to ditch their names completely.

In fairness, we have had mostly positive reactions to this - once people get over the surprise of it!

View Quoted Comment

I love this, a woman's name is not Mrs-her husband's name!!

I gotten a lot of pushback because my dad isn't walking me down the aisle or giving me away.

Not having family in wedding parties we got a lot of negative feedback on from his sister. All my siblings and the rest of his were cool about it. His sister and a few other extended family members who are much more concerned with tradition and etiquette really didn't like that choice. I just let the blame fall on me for having too many siblings to include, and didnt mention the truth that his siblings are really just too much drama for me to handle being involved lol.

Surprisingly enough, our most controversial decision of getting secretly married over a year before the wedding went over super well with our immediate families and wedding parties. Even my grandma was supportive and everyone is still just as excited for the wedding lol. We havent told other guests, but plan to surprise everyone at the anniversary dance. I dont expect any negative reactions from the other friends and extended family we have invited.

View Quoted Comment I definitely think a lot of the judgements come from previous generations who are just used to weddings following the same “rules” as theirs.
I’m surprised there are people that are confused about first looks though! I thought that was pretty much a known mainstream thing by now.

I think initially people thought it was weird that we abandon most wedding tradition and opted for a party vibe instead. In the end all sad it was the best wedding they had ever attended. Also I didn’t have a bridal party thankfully but honored some of the eldest women in m family who had been married 40 years or more and assigned them as flower women. My mom hated the idea but when she saw it expected she was like ok I get it. They were the hit of the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment I love how many brides are choosing nontraditional colored dresses these days! Personally, I detest white and don’t own a single white piece of clothing, so the idea of wearing white and feeling uncomfortable and unattractive on my big day was a huge no go. The whole “gotta wear white on your wedding day” is so antiquated. I’m glad women who don’t want to carry on that tradition are finding their voices and wearing what feels good to them! 🖤

View Quoted Comment Ok I LOOOOOOVE this!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You have completely inspired me to do this also 💕