Any zilla symptoms?

I’ve made a point of not making every other statement about the wedding. Most of my conversations with my fiancé center around our plans for the weekend, our jobs, what do you want for dinner &/or is there anything else you want me to add to the grocery list. I’ll sprinkle in a few issues that need to be addressed about the wedding (whether it’s a conversation with him, my MOH or the bridesmaids). There was one moment when I was trying to force him into deciding who his groomsmen & what he wanted to wear. That caused a lot of friction in our relationship & I didn’t want to have this wedding to be all encompassing! I apologized to him & made a promise that I wouldn’t ask him those questions-we did come up with a compromise that the deadline would be in January. We’ll talk about invitations, colors, menu options etc but not groomsmen or best man. That brought the fun back into planning. Definitely helped relieve the pressure of wedding planning in our relationship!

My wedding was supposed to be in May, but then you-know-what happened. Yes before I postponed my wedding, the wedding and planning was starting to take over everything. We tried to ensure that me and my fiance had at least one day of the week where they'd be NO wedding talk at all. And I really tried. I do admit I have some high expectations of my bridesmaids, but I am mindful of their time and money.

Also that godzilla with the bridal veil is too cute

I, luckily, never became that way. I was worried I would because I am a perfectionist and have high standards. But I stayed pretty chill and was still able to plan by dream wedding. My wife and I planned it together, so it didn’t take priority over our relationship, it wasn’t my entire life, I did not expect our wedding party to do anything besides show up with t he appropriate outfit, and we didn’t require anything of our families either. I did email my planner a couple of times a week, but always regarding wedding stuff that we were actively working on. So, I guess we both did pretty well.

Omg! Yes! That’s what it is called. Definitely the wedding had became priority. Until my FH and I had an argument and I realized that I needed to take a few steps back! My mom and I are now at odds because she is tired of hearing about the wedding in every conversation.


I’m trying, but I can’t help it! 😩😩

The only one I came close to experiencing was the wedding becoming my entire life. It didn't, but it preoccupied a lot of the thoughts in the back of my mind as it got closer - mostly due to worries over COVID and whatnot.

Prior to that, we talked about the wedding often, but in a more casual, excited way. We were engaged for 2+ years, so we got to take a slower pace with everything.

I kind of hate the term bridezilla, because it's often used to describe brides who care "too much" about specific aspects of their wedding day. It's such a negative term, and it's a lose-lose situation because women are "supposed to" care immensely about their wedding day but if/when they do, they're called a bridezilla. This article discusses what I'm talking about: https://apracticalwedding.com/called-a-bridezilla/

I do think people can become selfish in the process of planning a wedding, where they have very high/unreasonable expectations of others, and that is the only time I will ever use the word bridezilla. Being highly invested in your wedding isn't something that should be shamed.

View Quoted Comment Aww that was a great compromise. Good for you.

View Quoted Comment Right! I thought it was cute as well.

View Quoted Comment Awwww that was fortunate for you. Many brides don't receive planning help from future spouses.

View Quoted Comment Oh goodness. I'll definitely be sending yiu good vibes that you work on holding your tongue with your mom. Lol. It was a struggle for me as well until we cancelled everythinh abd decided on the tiny wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yes, I love longer engagements. So much more relaxed.

View Quoted Comment Okay, didn't mean to trigger any negative feelings.

Nope, quite the opposite. Everyone keeps saying it’s weird that I’m not obsessed or stressed with wedding planning. I tend to be a very decisive person though, so we made our choices really quickly early on. We announced our engagement in December 2019, and had the entire destination wedding planned by March. The postponement has actually allowed me to tweak a few things, which has been fun.

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Yes, she is driving me crazy! Ughhh

View Quoted Comment Lol! I can see that, you strike me as a very chill person.

I was very obsessed with planning - to - the - details - but when covid came it destroyed my plan, and I am a “follow the plan” person or I will be in distress. Since we canceled last July, dh isn’t talking about wedding or honeymoon anymore. Not a single thing. While I am devastated, but I keep planning things myself. I thing “wedding obsessed” is the right therm for me instead of the famous “Bridezilla”.

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I'm very tempted to gift a smaller version of it to my bridesmaids as a keepsake lol.

I didn't experience any of that, probably because I very deliberately kept my plans simple and planned everything in a short time frame (there was literally no time to obsess over details or worry about what might have been). From years working as a wedding caterer, I knew everything I didn't want. My partner and I were in accord, and we kept our plans to ourselves to avoid outside influences.

View Quoted Comment Okay thanks for sharing your experience.

View Quoted Comment Good for you! That's an advantage of your previous work experience