Anybody having issues with not giving every single person a plus one???

I definitely did that. haha i know it's a faux pas but i REALLY didn't have space =x and honestly my friends were so understanding when i told them.

MORGAN YOU ARE SPEAKING SO MUCH TRUTH GIRL!!! Go you!!!

I don’t feel anyone is diminishing anyone, if you have the money to invite everyone under the sun that is great! But if you have a budget in place, I don’t care how long you have been with someone if My fiancé and I don’t know them they’re not getting a plus one. It’s like $100-165 per person and I’m not dropping money like that for people I do not know. That is my preference.

As EVERYONE has their preference as to what they want done their big day. 💙

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Just to add, I’m literally engaged and going to another friends wedding in a month that’s out of town and I’m going without my fiancé. She is having a very smal wedding and she invited ME. My feelings are not hurt in the slightest, nor do I think she’s disrespecting my relationship by not including my soon to be husband in her intimate ceremony - she has a relationship with me, not him

So I gave a plus one to a couple of the single people, but not others. We have a clear rule for that, though. If they would only know either me or FH, they get a plus one. If they know other guests, they don't. My one coworker friend who's invited gets a plus one because she only knows me and wouldn't know anybody else there. I don't want her feeling awkward because she doesn't know anyone else there and obviously I can't be hanging out with her the entire time. But one of the guys I lived with (as a housemate) for 7+ years before moving in with my fiance 3 weeks ago? Sorry, no. He knows my sister and my parents and the other housemate plus his fiance and another friend of mine.... he has people to interact with, so he was not given a plus one.

Wow, these comments were all an interesting read.

I want to offer the flip side of this.... When I had just started dating my husband, his cousin was getting married, and he was both explicitly not given a "plus one" and I was not invited (invite was addressed to only him, and not "him and guest.") We had been together for six months by then, so well before invites went out. I didn't even bat an eye at this. I never once felt like I was entitled to a seat at the wedding just because we were dating! He elected not to go because he didn't want to go without me, but that was his personal choice. I'm not saying my feelings are the correct ones, it's just interesting to see this is such a big deal. She also had a super expensive, $250+/person wedding, so I just assumed that as the new girlfriend, I had no business there. I'm not at all saying that my response/feeling is the right one, because like anything else, what hurts/offends is subjective. I just wanted to throw it out there because everyone is hotly debating the whole "inviting boyfriends/girlfriends" thing.

As to the question at hand, it's crossed my mind multiple times because one of my best friends, who is very single, is absolutely the person who will bring some rando to my vow renewal if I don't explicitly, to her face, tell her absolutely not. And I'm going to be even straighter with her about it because it's a vow renewal, which I want to be a "very near and dear only" deal, not even my "regular friends" are invited - only my absolute best "to the very end, would take a bullet for you" friends are invited. I have literally received messages from her for other weddings, "I need to find a date for this wedding" like she's picking out a dress to wear, even when her envelope didn't say "and guest." So yeah, I totally understand dreading dealing with this situation!

I did a plus one and it ran my guest list up. I debated it a lot but eventually went with the plus one.

A very close friend invited me to a wedding without my FH (at the time my boyfriend of nearly a year, he proposed the next month) because they had a "no ring, no bring" rule. I went anyway to be supportive, but I honestly was very hurt, and moreso when I was at the wedding celebrating their relationship while mine was made to feel lesser. Now my FH and I weren't at the same stage in our relationship, that's true, but it was hard having that highlighted because my married and engaged friends got to come together and I couldnt. The friend later told me she decided on this rule because she didn't want to invite people who might break up and that comment also had me feeling some type of way--my FH wasn't some rando, he was already the love of my life. I'm still close friends with this couple but this will always hurt a bit.


Not telling anyone what to do, just sharing hoe your guests might be feeling when they get the invite that leaves their SO off

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"Skip the plus ones. Skip the relatives you aren't close to. Invite your best friends because many of them care more about you than family does sometimes."

- Best advice ever lol

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree
Limited room/budget or not,we DON'T want to invite a date of a couple weeks. We draw the line at 6 months and for those who are 18+ (we think you can't have a serious relationship when you're under 18).
Plus : the "if we have met the SO" rule makes sense. Specifically : if we BOTH have met them. Even if the guest offers to introduce the date BEFORE the deadline for RSVPs, we're fine with this.I'm not sure why some people think it's rude not to invite someone you've never met.A wedding is not the right place/time to introduce people to the bride/groom, with the exception of both immediate family if they live far away from you and couldn't meet you or your partner before. Same rule with our parent's friends and our extended family: We are only inviting those we Have BOTH met and see more than No way I'm inviting mom's "gymmates" I saw twice or thrice in 5 years.And last but not least,: I'm shocked by a "rule" I discovered here on WW and I discussed it with my partner : the one that states " I invite you at my kid's weddings and you invite me to yours".Don't know if my parent's and/or future in-laws were invited to coworker's/distant friend's kids' weddings, but I know myself: I will immediately shut it down if one of them dares to bring it up because we don't have to accept a so-called rule when we weren't included in the decision-making LOLand because we won't invitr someone we don't know.

See, I can totally see this! Only because y’all are an established couple by this point. I don’t think the ring or lack thereof is the final decision to whether someone is able to bring their S.O. This is the perfect example of why there shouldn’t be this rule that you just have to go by, situations are all different. It sounds like your friends reasoning for not allowing your boyfriend was for fear that you may break up and maybe she didn’t want your ex in her pictures? — which is a stupid reason to not allow you to bring your long term boyfriend. BUT, if you and your boyfriend were pushing a month rather than a year, and her space was limited, she doesn’t HAVE to include him. In fact, I think it would be really silly to. To me, it’s all about the circumstances.


But even then, I wouldn’t even think my relationship being disrespected. I would think “hm that sucks that I can’t bring him, but I can’t wait to see my friends!”. I just don’t think brides and grooms have time to think about who’s relationship they should ‘honor’ at their wedding, because it’s about honoring theirs and with people they care about - not the people they care about plus all of the people those people care about.

My friend is having a small wedding and literally wasn’t able to invite more than so many guests — she wanted me there but couldn’t give me the seat for my FH. Would I love for him to be there, yes. But it wasn’t a jab at my relationship to not be able to include him.
But I agree with your stance! I think there’s always a fine line, which is why I hate the “wedding rule book” people say you have to go by.

Whoops, forgot to quote! That was meant for Elizabeth’s comment!!

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Parents' weddings are long past so they have no business dictating or even suggesting who is invited. It's not even a rule among most social circles for parents to take over the guest list, nor are they tit for tat. No part of wedding planning is tit for tat..especially picking bridesmaids.

I am really trying to give anyone actually single a plus one.
But I also chose to not invite my brother’s kids -my nieces - them, their spouses and their kids total 32. But I am inviting my sister’s kids, who total kids, spouses and all total 8. I know that’s not exactly polite, but I never see the nieces but am still close to the nephews and was a big part of their lives when they were growing up. I’ll take the etiquette scolding for that. (my brother is totally fine, he knows he has a ridiculous amount of descendents)

View Quoted Comment Lol. THIS.
Cut your guest list to ensure couples get invited. It doesn’t matter if you know or met their SO or not.

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I agree with the "Cut your guest list to ensure couples get invited'' but I don't with the rest.
I don't like the idea of people being introduced to the 2 of us on the day of. A wedding is not the right time/place& for that. 1 exception: immediate family members living across the country who couldn't me met me or my partner before.We are planning to invite the SO's our family and friends have been dating for 6+ months under one condition if we BOTH haven't met them: introduce them to us (or to the one who hasn't met them) before the RSVP's deadline. With a "reminder" 1-2 weeks before, if needed.No SO's introductions on our wedding day is a rule we wanted to set.I definitely see where "those who don't want to invite the SO's they have never met", are coming from.

We kind of did an in between (which may not be extremely helpful lol), but the reasoning was estabished pre-Covid. So if pre-Covid when we originally sent out invites, you had a significant other, they were invited. If you were single, you did not get a plus one.

Some couples broke up during quarantine, so if it was case of we invited a friend and their s/o we didn't know, we just changed the invitation now to the friend. If it was a couple and we were friends with both, both are still invited with no plus ones.

A few of his fraternity brothers have started causally dating in the last few months, but we are not giving them plus ones, as they are extremely recent, and they will know a vast majority of our guests.

With planning during a pandemic, old rules kind of have to get reset. I agree with everyone's point of view, I think established couples should be invited, and the "tinder date of the month" shouldn't, but its really up to your budget and preference!

We didn't give anybody plus ones and had no issues at all! Of course, we did invite the significant others of anyone in a relationship. We felt it wasn't our place to judge the seriousness of relationships (and of course, this meant honoring new relationships and there were a few people we hadn't yet met). As it turned out, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years shortly after our wedding, and one of our friends who brought his new girlfriend of only 3 months to our wedding is now engaged to this person! Basically, we honored everyone's relationship by allowing them to bring their significant others. But definitely no random tinder dates. We paid $250 per plate after all!

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If you want to meet everyone's SOs before the wedding, the onus is on you to make that happen, not them.

View Quoted Comment Read on here a while,, though, and it becomes clear that people want not to invite their sister's boyfriend they never liked, and their college friend's husband they never met. People need to be very clear, couples are invited together, like it or not. It is only those dating around, not a committed couple where you can say, I only want those I know and like.

View Quoted Comment Wedding forums and random people on the internet don’t say what I have to do at my wedding. If you’ve read my comments, I wouldn’t separate a married couple or committed relationship. But I can (and will) invite who I want there, like it or not.