Anybody having issues with not giving every single person a plus one???

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No way!!

The onus is ON THEM since these SO's are theirs, not ours.

If they trulltrully their SO to be invited, then they know what they have to do. We're not debating with them , we're not asking for their approval, this is our rule, period.

It's still better than the no ring no bring rule, isn't it?

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It's insane to me the rules and obligations that go to a bride and groom to accommodate every single individual at their wedding. With all of the rules that people come up with, it's not even about the bride and groom anymore, it becomes about making sure every guests is not offended or inconvenienced by any detail of your wedding in the slightest way.

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The minute you start inviting guests it stops being about the bride and groom. Elope if you don't want to deal with guests' comfort.

View Quoted Comment Nope. This applies to my not having a seafood dinner to avoid guests allergies. This does not apply to every aspect of a wedding. Thank you for the advice though!

View Quoted Comment A wedding is literally the ceremony of marriage between two people. And it’s all about those two people. I’ve never seen so many people with such demands and opinions about being invited to SOMEONE else’s event. Show up and enjoy yourself or don’t.

Most of my closest friends are still the people I met in high school. Some of them live far away and I see them only when they are visiting their family in town. Because of this, I have not met a lot of their partners or SO's, some of whom live with them! Definitely serious relationships and people I should invite, in my opinion. I am just going to call each of my closest friends prior to sending invites to see if they are dating when I make sure I have their address. These are friends I would want no matter the cuts to the guest list so I am prepared to add 5 or so extra people in plus ones.


Super small guest list, comparatively, so this is easily doable. No extended family invited so no cousins to get mad at unequal treatment. No plus ones for singles except for MAYBE my brother if he starts dating between invites and the event (but he doesn't know that unless he asks).

We're doing "no plus ones," as in, everyone is invited by name. We are including SOs (but with the caveat that we may have to ditch a few due to COVID limitations...hopefully that won't be needed). So if we don't know the SOs name, or if you break up with the person we have invited, then it's just the one person. I'm in kind of a weird spot with an extended friend group, where several people have SOs but I've never met any of them & don't know any of their names. Since this group all knows each other, we won't be inviting their SOs--it would literally double that group to the point where we couldn't invite any of them (there's no way to just invite some of them without it being super awkward).

I attended a wedding where my family was invited as a unit. My brother and I were invited as part of the family even though we were in our 20s and living elsewhere and my partner of three years, now fiance, was not invited. I wasn't super happy about it, and I wasn't the only one who had a long term SO not invited, but I got over it & had fun. It's not something I'm going to hold against anyone--maybe not ideal & at worst rude, but wedding planning is hard, & expensive. Honestly, I found being invited as part of a family unit when I was an adult who lived alone more annoying xD

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I definitely agree with your vision of the big bay : it's about the bride and groom/both brides/both grooms. The only acceptable accomodation is to make sure you offer your guests 2 options: a vegetarian meal and non-alcoholic drinks . My partner and I are iinviting the SO's under our own terms (if we both met the SO before the RSVP's deadline) because we want to do so, we don't make any decision based on people's wishes, including our parents.

However, I'm not sure why so many SOs want to attend a wedding if they don't know at least one of the newlyweds.Especially since I attended a wedding, as a plus one, 3 years ago. I was introduced to the couple ... at the reharsal dinner (my Fiancée was a bridesmaid) . It was awkward,boring (both the reharsal dinner and the wedding) and I wished I were at home, watching tv or youtube videos 😀.

I "sucked it up" for her but I won't do it again.

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I totally agree. People get so wrapped up in this rule book (who wrote it and where these brides are finding it is beyond me lol) that they feel like every person has to follow in order to get married, I'm not sure how anyone even remembers what they're hosting an event for.

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According to SC law, I have have receive a marriage license and in 6 months have a qualified officiant preside over my wedding ceremony. All of these "you must" "you can't" "according to..." are total crap.