Anyone else avoiding wedding showers?

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I so agree with you. This right here. My FH agrees.

View Quoted Comment I think a Vegas wedding will be a shower, bachelorette party, and wedding all rolled into one!! LOL Vegas weddings are so much fun!!

View Quoted Comment Yep! I totally agree (with prayers 🙏🏽 and fingers crossed 🤞🏽 that life will be better managed by October).

My FH and I talked about skipping the pre-wedding stuff (except for the necessary stuff like fittings, picking out dresses/tuxes, etc) but members of our wedding party really wanted to throw certain stuff for us like the wedding shower and the bachelorette/bachelor parties. They were so excited about planning it we decided to let them do it.

Yup: no parties!!. I don’t even have bridesmaids. It’s just not my thing.

I don't want anyone to spend a ton of money on an engagement party or a bridal shower on my behalf. FH and my families haven't met yet, so once everyone is vaccinated and it's safe to do so we'd like to have a nice dinner out with my parents and FMIL (and FFIL and his wife separately because my FH's parents can barely be in the same room together). In terms of a bridal shower, I really don't want to register for anything since I'd prefer people give cash (note: I am not asking for cash, I simply am not going to register for anything and let people figure out what they want to do in the absence of a registry). So if there are no physical gifts, there's really no point to a bridal shower. If someone wants to throw a bridal luncheon or similar no-gift party I wouldn't object, but I'm not asking for one either.

The bachelorette (and bachelor) party is something I would still like to do, and since we're not until fall of 2022/spring of 2023 I believe it should be fine. I would personally love to have my girls and I get a hotel for 2 nights in our city and do all the touristy fun stuff we normally don't get to do. That way only one bridesmaid has to travel significantly (and her parents live in the area so she's in town multiple times a year usually) and we can keep costs relatively low while still going "out". No clue what FH will want to do in terms of a bachelor party - I could see him down the shore or in Atlantic City equally easily.

View Quoted Comment You’re lucky. I started out with just a matron of honor and somehow ended up with 4 bridesmaids. 😭😂

I'm skipping the engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette party. Not my thing.

I skipped it, because at the time it was hard to get off weekends. And i just didn’t want to take the time off and I lived about 3 hours from all of my relatives and many even more. I also just think it comes off very gift-grabby and let’s all idolize the bride. My sister had one and has an extra toaster oven she isn’t using so she says she’s giving that to me. Lol sometimes I wish I had had a shower because some upgrades would’ve been nice but we really do have plenty and I don’t know where we would store it all.


Like as a guest I’m like, “wait you want me to take off a few days to go to your wedding, ANd you want me to take off again so that I can go to a party to give you an expensive gift, when I will just give you money for the wedding?”
If I loved you I would still go and be happy about it, but I don’t like going to showers. I don’t like this “me me me” culture associated with weddings. We let people act like total jerks to their friends and family and act like a bratty child when they don’t get their way for their wedding.
I think you are a perfectly capable reasonable adult and sometimes you don’t always get exactly what you want and I don’t think it’s acceptable to throw a hissy fit like a toddler when you are the bride. A bride can discuss what she wants in an unemotional polite and respectful manner. You get more accomplished that way.
But it seems we have all these ceremonious situations (like wedding dress shopping, shower, bachelorette party) and the wedding expectation of all this stuff should be done for the bride and everyone should just love doing it. Usually as a friend, we don’t mind because we want to make our friend or sister happy. But i don’t think it respects the time of other people.
I agree the bride should definitely do what she wants for her wedding and make her own decisions, like what to serve, her dress, her flowers, DJ, music, etc, but we do not need to entertain all of this self-centeredness and bridezilla-esque behavior surrounding weddings.
Okay rant over.

Edit: for the record I am not stating OP or anyone on this board is acting this way. I am just saying I do see this behavior online and in person and it aint pretty.

Girl, same. I hate all of it. I know my mom and aunts are bummed and my man of honor looked at me sideways, but I'm sticking to my guns. And to be honest, I feel a little too old for it. I might feel differently if I were still in my 20s. But go out and get drunk and party just so I can be hungover for 3 days? - I'm good.

My man of honor did say he wanted to take my to a spa or a winery though, so I might do that. He's the only one in my wedding party anyway