My fiance and I are devoted Catholics are are getting married in San Diego. We are from a different Diocese but have been complying to all the rules and regulations of the church in San Diego. Recently, we have been running into issues with our coordinator at the church we are getting married in.
I am just curious if anyone else has had issues with the San Diego Diocese for their marriage preparations? And what should I be aware of?
I ask this because my sister recently got married in the SD Diocese as well and had a huge snafu TWO days before her wedding. The priest who was marrying her and my brother-in-law overlooked the fact that he was not Catholic, although they had already discussed this with him. To their understanding, she was still going to receive her Sacrament of Marriage as that was their intent on getting married in the Catholic Church. Long story short, she was notified DAYS before the wedding that she would not be getting her Sacrament of Marriage because he was not baptized in a Christian faith. SHE WAS DEVASTATED and rightfully so because they failed to give her a proper guide to what they needed to do in order for her to properly receive her sacrament which could have been worked on all the time they were engaged.
My fiance and I have booked our date with and SD church TWO years ago and now we are receiving threatening emails saying "If I do not receive this Pastoral Care Form filled out within 30 days I will issue you a refund check, and open your date up to couples on my waiting list. I will not be sending out a reminder, or extending this deadline."
** We have already submitted this form by the way, SIGNED BY OUR PRIEST.**
We believe she thinks we forged it or are not abiding to the rules somehow but we have been doing everything that has been asked for us so we are utterly taken aback. It is just so hurtful to randomly receive an email like this because we have had an incredibly challenging journey during our engagement for many reasons. We are so close and thrilled it is finally OUR YEAR, but it feels like we are bad people.
Then we also receive emails regarding regulation on dresses. She has been sending emails to all the brides getting married in the same month making notes on what you can and cannot wear. One specifically says "Strapless dresses are not permitted". However, in the guidelines FROM her states "Dress – The attire of the bride and wedding party is expected to be appropriate to the dignity of
the liturgy. While strapless dresses are permitted, overly revealing attire is inappropriate. This includes plunging necklines, transparent gowns, and back styles that are deeply cut. Please use
common sense and modesty, and be aware that inappropriately dressed members of the
wedding party will not be allowed to participate in the ceremony."
I am just overly stressed because it just does not seem right to be sending out emails that are contradicting to what is noted in other contracts and we of course do not want to lose our wedding date as we have literally planned everything and now just saving to pay for it all. I don't want to overstep her or point things out like this but which one is it?? I've purchased my dress a couple months ago as I am sure other brides during my month have and it is strapless because I reviewed the guidelines as mentioned above but now I am worried I am going to be kicked out of my own wedding if "she deems it inappropriate" . I can of course get a cover or whatever to "fix" this but at the same time it is frustrating to abide by one thing and find yourself in this predicament. I would have chosen a dress that was not strapless if it said I could not wear strapless, but it didn't.
Can she really just remove us from getting married there for any reason? I am so worried by just posting this, she can read it and choose to remove us. I just wish it was more specific in the guidelines. I am just overwhelmed and saddened by this unexpected stress.
