Anyone else not anticipating your Groom going to a strip club for his Bachelor party?

I feel the SAME exact way as you. Luckily my husband is against strip clubs too, and most of the groomsmen found it unacceptable as well! So the guys went golfing and had a BBQ. They drank the whole day, and had a ton of fun. Strip clubs are NOT necessary for a good bachelor party and TONS of grooms agree.

I think its really serious that your fiance is not respecting your feelings on this and is choosing to do something he knows will hurt you. I would think really hard about whether or not this is the man for you.

I dont feel comfortable with it either. It is something I struggle with...trying to be cool and open minded, but inside it feels cheaty. I am glad you spoke up.

He’s obviously not ready to be serious & be married to you if he is still willing to do it even when it hurts you . You deserve better

I completely agree with this and am definitely against the whole strip club thing! Thankfully FH is as well so I have nothing to worry about. I can totally see why you feel this way!

I agree with everything you said and honestly, if it bothers you that bad, you two need to sit down and have a serious discussion. My fiancé’s friends had that in mind and he told them flat out, he would drive home if they got him strippers. So you are right to feel uncomfortable. I’m glad my fiancé and I were on the same page. I’ve heard numerous stories of things getting out of hand at bachelor parties. Why strain your relationship right before marriage? Good luck.

Im hoping as it gets closer , still a year away , just maybe it sets in he has a change of heart/ ideas for a good time. Maybe do things together instead. but im gonna tell him whatever he decides to do ( while letting him know again what im not liking at all) he needs to make it happen 2 months before the wedding so i can cancel if need be.... its that strong of a feeling and i cannot shake it. supposed to be our happy time and this is really killing it for me. not that i dont love him. i dont want to be sounding controlling. I just cant shake the thoughts and visuals etc.

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Personally, I wouldn't wait til 2 months out. Can you have a sit down conversation with him about it now?

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I really wouldn't wait. This needs to be hashed out between the two of you now.

I’m more concerned that he’s not concerned about your feelings. If you feel this strongly, I’d hash this out now. Maybe 1 counseling session by yourself to help you express your concerns and learn helpful ways to express this to your fiancé (and get advice on what do say/do if your fiancé ignores your request)?

Both my hubby & I think they’re lame, and these days it’s not like many men are virgins and “need to see another naked woman” but I don’t think we’d be bothered if either of us went. But if one of us strongly expressed how uncomfortable/disrespected we felt, the other probably wouldn’t go. I think this topic is more about communication & respect between a couple.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree, this is definitely a red flag for some communication and respect issues.
I think a therapist or counselor would be helpful too.

So, I think you should really speak with your FH and tell him how unacceptable it is to you. I 100000% agree with you and think you are validated in your feelings here.

My FH will not be going to a strip club, and actually we'll probably end up having a joint party instead of doing separate things. Then again, our relationship is very uncommon and most people would think that's a weird idea.

Honestly this problem seems a bit bigger than a bachelor party. It's in your best interest as a couple to have similarly aligned ideas about loyalty, as there could be far more issues down the road if you guys drastically disagree. I suggest you sit down and talk about what makes each other uncomfortable and set some mutually agreed to boundaries.

I agree with you and so does my fiance! So no it's not all men. My fiance is having a bonfire with a few close friends.

I trust him not to do anything and his best man is WAY too shy to go anywhere like that he is a lot like raj from big bang theory

This has been my biggest fear to.
It gives me so much anxiety. I made it super clear that I'm not ok with it.
We both agreed neither of us will have strippers.
Idk if he will keep his word his friends are pretty stuck on going to the strip club.
Just talk it out and listen as much as you can hopefully he will hear you and respect your feelings

Definitely agree with this and some of the previous posters. In the same way you would respect him if something made him uncomfortable, he should respect yours in the same regard.

What state and county do you live in? My best friend and bridesmaid is a former exotic dancer and I remember her telling me that different areas have different laws about strip clubs including the type of contact the customer is allowed to have with the girls. Some counties or clubs don't allow the customers to touch the dancers.

Obviously, continue talking to your FH about your feelings on this. If he continues to persist, then maybe help him find a club that you would be okay with him going to based on the laws or rules for that club? If you can't find one, or just don't feel comfortable with him going at all, then he should respect your feelings if he wants to enter into a healthy marriage.

I just find the idea of going to a strip club for a bachelor party ridiculous. Like, why do you need to watch girls half naked/naked? I remember being in my early twenties and a lot of the men I knew were super into the idea of strip clubs for bachelor parties. I am now in my thirties and my FH is as well, and he just wants to hang out with his friends...probably golfing and dinner. He knows I don’t like the idea of strip clubs and he doesn’t either so that’s good. All but two of his friends are married with kids and he says no one has any interest in them anyway.

Yes.. my FH dad planned his bachelor party. They went tubing down the river, got some lunch, went fishing and had few beers. And he came back home in time for dinner. But before my fh dad took over it was a flat out sh$%t show!!! The best man was fighting with me and my FH about how he was making him go to a strip club. And he flat put didn't care what it caused or how my FH felt about it.. so he was told that he doesnt get a say in what happens. He's lucky he is still in the wedding! But I would be livid if my FH was like I'm going and I dont care how you feel about it. That's no okay. Regardless of how anyone sees it. I hate strip clubs too. My parents divorced and throughout their marriage my dad was at a strip club very often.. so part of me feels that it really got to my mom and made her feel that she just wasn't enough.. so he should respect what you are feeling and understand where you are coming from.

View Quoted Comment I wouldnt wait until 2 months before the wedding to figure out if your FH respects you (cause it seems like he doesn't...). I would have this conversation now.

I'm so glad mine didn't want do that. We actually did not do any bachelor/bachelorette parties. I agree 110% about that strip club thing. It is super sleazy and disrespectful. That seems like it's only a "tradition" in movies. I personally do not know any men who have done that.