Anyone else regretting not eloping?

I have mentioned this to my FH a few months after planning. The stress of it, is not fun at all. I am excited about marrying him, taking his last name and making our family a complete unit., but everything else is becoming too much. Now, I am less than a month away and outside of the RSVPs I am only worried about things that will make US happy together. Our honeymoon will be a vacation from the stress of planning for me. lol

We dealt with A LOT of drama from my mother, his brother, and his brother's wife. Looking back on it, we should have saved the $20k and went to the Caribbean with a few close friends and eloped. Although we were legally married 6 months early. Everyone knew and I needed to get on his health insurance because I was in a horrible work environment and I'm on transplant medication. Private insurance for someone like me is crazy expensive. So we did what we had to do while continuing to plan the wedding. We were engaged for a year at that point, so it's not like I married him for the insurance lol. It's hard to briefly explain. Anyway, money wasn't an issue for us either, but looking back.... We could have used that money towards new floors for our house, or a new vehicle that I'm going to need soon.

Ahhh, I feel the SAME WAY. When we first got engaged I told FH that I liked the idea of eloping because neither of us like being the center of attention, I've never craved a big wedding, and I'd rather use the money on buying our first house. Both FH and family, friends, etc, all told me I'd regret not having a big wedding (with my huge family, it's either a big wedding or nothing at all). I wish I had stuck to my instincts! Oh well... too late now, haha. I keep telling myself I'll enjoy the day once it's here.... I think what I struggle the most with is that I feel like I'm throwing this wedding for everyone else, and not for myself.

Anyways, makes me feel better to know I'm not alone in feeling this way

Everytime i look at my account statement or the mess in my house..

In all seriousness though I know I'd regret not having the wedding way more in the long run.

When it comes down to it it's just money. I know other people don't feel that way and get very stressed out thinking of what they could pay with that money instead of a big party. But FH and I both agree we work to live and enjoy it, not live to work and stress about bills. Which we still do, I guess but our philosophy is that life should be lived and enjoyed (whatever that means to you) and nothing is guaranteed in life--not even tomorrow.

Edited typos

@Greene, Absolutely!

And this is why we do 100+ elopements a year.

We had a wedding planned and decided on canceling it and have a super small family only wedding and loved every minute of it. Total there was 16 people. We got to spend so much more time around the people that means the most to us.

I am so happy we did that instead of the big wedding.

Deep down, it's what I'd rather do. I hate spending money. And weddings are nothing but a money pit and a show for the crowd. It's nothing but a way to show off all that you could afford. Quite frankly, we can't afford very much, and I'm afraid my wedding will look tacky and cheap. I'd MUCH rather elope, but FH wants his family there. :\

I had those thoughts EARLY on in the planning phase but then someone told me that it was mine and my FH day. We have the final say on everything so that it is exactly how we want it. Once I realized that everyone's opinions were just that... OPINIONS- it's been fun.

I haven't read anyone else's response but my answer is ,"Yes, Every damn day!".

The idea crosses my mind every once in a while. Either due to stress, or looking at the numbers in my budget/running total. But I *know* in the end, it will all be worth it.

YES!!!! I want a renewal in 5 years. Just us and a long vacation LOL.

This is my second marriage...we are eloping. We both had big church weddings the first time around and nether one of us remembered much about the reception nor did we have time to eat. So this time it's just us.

I'm really, really excited for my wedding. My only regret is the cost. Tried for a $15k budget, ended up being closer to $20k ... I'm really nervous to see what the final number is going to be.

Think about it all the time !!! So much money and no one is efficient !!

Drama free here, but I feel so guilty about how much everything costs. My parents are amazing and paying for everything and I feel so guilty, also very appreciative. I keep trying to figure out ways FH and I can chip in, but with my student loan payments about $900 a month we don't have a whole lot to spare. Right now I'm just trying to save enough to pay for the rehearsal dinner. My parents offered to do that too, but it's so much!

That's why we ended up doing dw . To avoid a huge wedding . His mom and my fmil weren't thrilled but they quickly got over it.

My mom throws shade here and there about our dw. But I can't help what I want. Plus the unnecessary drama and the costs.

We're going to Alaska in a few weeks and I have been secretly contemplating eloping and just keeping our venue as a vow renewal.

My FH and I were excited to elope or courthouse. But I changed my mind because I wanted our family to share this beautiful moment with us. We both feel like we should have stuck to the original plan but I believe that after all the stress and money issues clear the air and walk down the aisle... Those memories will be unforgettable