Anyone else second guessing everything?

It's a big day. I think it's natural to second guess things. Go with your gut and trust that you picked the right things! I'm sure it will be fabulous!

It’s very natural to feel like this as it’s your one shot (hopefully) at planning your wedding. You’re spending a lot of money and tome and you want it to be all that you imagined it to be. Trust in the decisions you made at the time you were making them. Stop looking at Pinterest or any other sites (if you still are). Keep your perspective about what it is and what it isn’t. Remember that your guests won’t really care if your flowers were pink or red, or whether your dress was s ballgown or s mermaid style. They’ll remember being happy for the 2 of you and that they had fun. It’s just one day (yes, it’s an important day but one day nonetheless) out of the rest of your lives. You both have so much to look forward to. Don’t let this momentary “wall” keep you from enjoying your life with your FS.

While it’s common to second guess, so your best not to! I did that too, and then I thought “I chose and made these decisions for a reason” and would remind myself why I did what I did. It helped a lot!

Thanks ladies, hopefully when it all comes together I will love it more than I think. I also think I’m getting a little burned out from planning. I appreciate the kind words and advice 😊

Im getting married SATURDAY and have been kinda second guessing things here and there. This sounds awful....but this is my 3rd marriage, my fiances 2nd marriage. Ive never before had a 'real' wedding. Never. My fiance and his ex had the huge beautiful, expensive wedding. We are eloping. Im second guessing that. Im second guessing my colors. Im second guessing EVERYTHING. Am I missing out by never have had a "real" wedding? Am I just going to make our families hate me more because we are choosing to elope? Sigh. Weddings kinda suck.

5 days out and still second guessing the whole “wedding” thing and my dress

We are date twins! And yes, I'm second guessing things. This is the second marriage for both of us, he had the big, expensive wedding and reception and I just went to the court house at 18 years old (no parents or family there). FH and I are doing an immediate family only ceremony at our house and then having a small reception in a private room at a restaurant with extended family and a few close friends, but it's just food/drinks/cupcakes, no dance or anything like that. Now that we are getting closer, I'm second guessing if I made the right decision on having the ceremony at our house and also not having a traditional reception since I never got to experience the big wedding/reception. Which in turn is making me second guess my dress (I didn't wear a dress for my first marriage), the dress I will be wearing next month is a short, simple white dress that I will be wearing with cowgirl boots. I wonder if I'll regret not having a traditional wedding and reception, especially after seeing everyone's BAM pictures and now realizing how simple ours will be.

View Quoted Comment I’m sure some of it is a “grass is greener” thing because I’m doing the traditional wedding and kind of wish I wasn’t. Having a small reception at a restaurant was an option I considered. I never really pictured myself getting married in a banquet hall but ultimately it turned out to be the easier option because they take care of so much. I wonder if I should have just tried a little harder to do something more niche than this but it’s too late now!

This is definitely normal, I feel like ever since starting to plan, I have been in a perpetual state of always agonizing over second guessing something, or over some petty decision.

I guess I'm not one to give advice on this one because I'm literally constantly doing the same thing lol, but what I always try to remind myself is that with big things like... the venue, my dress, my ring, etc. I can agonize over that stuff all I want, but regardless it's all already set in stone and we don't have the money to change it anyway. I can doubt my choices and second guess it all I want but it's just too late to change anyway even if I DID decide it was the wrong choice, so may as well just let it go and accept it for what it is, because it's too late now!

As for the smaller things, I find that when I start second guessing those decisions I ask myself, "how bad would it be if I were to just forgo this entire aspect of the wedding?" i.e. centerpieces. I keep deciding what I want to do and then seeing something that might be better and driving myself crazy over it. Then, to put it into perspective how unimportant this is, I think, what if we just didn't have centerpieces. What would happen. Honestly, most people probably wouldn't think twice. Some may think "hm that's a bit odd" then forget about it as soon as the day was over. Of course, we are going to have centerpieces lol but my point is, if the day would still be FINE without it, it's seriously not worth stressing over the decision for which version is better.

Like I said, I feel a bit hypocritical because I do the exact same thing as you, so I suppose this advice is easier said than done. But I know it's what I SHOULD be doing, and it's what I'm trying to focus on, so maybe you will have better luck!

Our wedding is Friday. This morning I started looking at pictures of my dress and wondering if I made the right choice! I know I did because I do love it. I’ve second guessed a few other things recently too. I think for me it’s the fact that these are FINAL decisions, no matter what. We’ve been planning for 1.5 years, so for a long time I knew I could change my mind on things. But now it’s pretty much here, so nothing can be changed. I never really started out with a vision, I had no idea what I wanted. Everything just sort of came together on its own.

We're getting married this Saturday and I am second guessing EVERYTHING, even this late in the game. Did I invite enough people, or even the right people? Did I pick the right first dance song, and the DJ/reception songs, or should I have chosen something else? Is the venue going to be the one of my dreams? How about the decor and all our bouquets? Will the photobooth work properly and did I book it for enough time? How about my menu choices, will the food be good and be enough for everyone? Is my dress too low-cut for my body type? What if my arms look fat in it? Am I packing the right makeup and will my hair look good or silly? I could go on!! It's totally normal but it's also SUPER nervewracking!!

In the grand scheme of things, the people who love me who are invited will be there, and they are happy for us, and I am happy, too overall. So all will be well, it's just hard to imagine it when you're so stressed. Since you have a bit of time, I say take a break from planning and have a spa day, a girl's out day, or just a "me day" with a good book or movie where you don't have to think about it. A mental break definitely does some good!!

I second guessed a lot too!! you hit the nail on the head, though. It's most important that you aren't second guessing your fiance!! One big thing I had issues with was my dress. I picked it really quickly aaaaand I kinda hated it later on. 3 weeks before my big day, I admitted it and I scrambled to make a change. I added little swag sleeves and bought new shape wear and that made a loooot of difference!!

In general, I initially envisioned a very different day too. Unfortunately, some of the things I wanted weren't realistic for our budget, location and guest count. I also had different ideas that that were equally beautiful but different from one another. While I felt accomplished with every decision made, I also somewhat mourned the loss of the choices I didn't make. Sorry if that wording is dramatic but there is something to say for losing the potential of options you don't or can't choose. Don't beat yourself up about not enjoying things at the moment. You are allowed to be disappointed!

My first piece of advice would be: try not to look at inspo for anything you have already selected. Don't re-visit your wedding flower pinterest board or look the david's bridal dress sales, that will make you nuts. You will only focus on what is better and forget why you didn't choose that in the first place. You'll just remember that "The ceremony space at that venue was perfect!!" and forget that the reception room had no a/c and they were over budget. Try to remember and internalize that things aren't perfect and there is no way to have everything. I'm not trying to say that you have unrealistic expectations or anything. I just think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make things "perfect".

The next thing I would suggest is to focus on what you do have the flexibility to still change. Maybe you can tweak your flower choice without incurring an extra fee. Was there a theme you wanted to incorporate that you didn't pursue? Perhaps you can choose favors, menus, place cards, programs or make some signage that has a nod to that theme. Have you picked your signature drink yet? your nail art? Try to revel in smaller details if you can.

You are totally normal. When those feelings creep up, I shove them back and say, "that's decided, it is a done deal, and the most important part of the day is celebrating with our families and friends"

That said, I was a firm "no" on welcome bags. We are having a destination wedding and three solid days of parties. Who needs a crappy welcome bag when I nice welcome letter will do, right?

Well.....My parent's are at my (step?)cousin's destination wedding in Hilton Head this weekend, and when my mom texted a pic of the welcome bag, I called her right away. "Mom, I'm not doing welcome bags. We don't need to do welcome bags". Then I hear my aunt in the background, "she doesn't have to do these fancy bags, most are just the nice paper ones". Well, that was it....it was on like donkey kong! Two days and about $900 later, we're going to have welcome bags and they will be awesome. ROFL

View Quoted Comment Omg $900?! What are you putting in them???

My wedding is in 2.5yrs I have changed everything like 10 times already...it's normal to feel that way. I had the same issue with my first wedding. But in the end it turned out beautiful...(Marriage didn't..lol) but the wedding was a hit. Don't sweat the small stuff...whatever you have chosen will all come together beautifully for you!

View Quoted Comment It adds up quickly, doesn't it? There are almost 100 of them, so...

- a key lime coconut patty
- deck of cards (custom wrapper)
- tin of mints
- personalized lip balm
- wedding tissues

Also inside, I will have a 3x4" ziplock bag with a custom sticker that says "beach wedding survival kit". That will contain :bandaids, advil, pepto, an insect repellent wipe, and sunscreen.

Oh, and the bags themselves. Not customized but super cute little cotton bags with turtles on them from Oriental Trading. I think the bags and the bandaids were the most expensive components. Lol.

If there is room, will probably add a little water bottle, like airplane-size. I'm definitely out of control.

I read a great article before I got married that recommended not making too many changes out of anxiety. Fear and stress can make things take on a new reality. Are you prone to second guessing things in your day to day life?

View Quoted Comment I don’t think I’m prone to second guessing anymore than anyone else. I’m generally very in control of my life but I also work to keep things simple. Weddings are pretty hard to keep simple.

View Quoted Comment You've got that right! 😂