Anyone else's fiancé' not on board with the planning process?

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This is the venue im checking out tomorrow! https://www.weddingwire.com/biz/the-mezz-orlando/87de337250c95cc3.html#network

View Quoted Comment Youre welcome! Great color scheme and good luck with the venue tomorrow! Its fun to check out venues!

View Quoted Comment Wow that is pretty! Its spacious!

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Yesss! thank you so much! i cannot wait to see in person!

View Quoted Comment That's great, I'm glad it sounds like he's coming around! I hope your venue tours go well! 😊

I feel like that at times.. we looked at 2venues together and I looked at the rest with family.. We booked the one we saw together and the rest is it2me he says whatever makes me happy here is the money.. But at times he will ask questions but that's about it

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Thank you so much!!! appreciate it!

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Sounds amazing and like an ideal planning situation! #happywifehappylife should be my new motto! all i ask is for a pretty wedding, and that he shows up with some good vows, and has a good time with me!

View Quoted Comment Okay, do you. Just throwing something out there but thanks for clarifying. I've never had a "dream wedding" and I hate being the center of attention. I recommend that you both agree on a set budget for the overall wedding and budgets for each category. Ww has a budget planner on this platform that many have found to be helpful.

View Quoted Comment Exactly he will have fun and you both will enjoy your special day..

Don't force him to do things that he sees as "girly" because he will only resent you for it. If you have dreamed your whole life of planning a wedding, GREAT! Take the reins, do the research, then make it simple for him. Pick your two favorites and then decide amongst the two with him. Don't drag him to ten different venues, make him look at dozens of napkin colors, etc. Just let him make the final choices with you and that way he is being involved without feeling like he has to spend hours on stuff he likely doesn't care about. It's not that he doesn't care about the wedding and you, but a LOT of men don't care about the details of the day, they just want their woman to be happy and to get married.

My FH and I decided on a venue a long time ago and that was the first thing we did! Other than that he isn’t deciding anything else 😂 I will show him pics and prices and say “this is who we are doing” and that’ll be it. The more things I bring up to him the more he gets stressed out and wants to elope instead (which I am not doing) so I just keep him out of most of it. He’s not very opinionated about it anyways so it works 🤷🏼‍♀️

Men typically aren't as excited and ready to actually plan like we are at least I should say most men. He was on board with me to pick the date, which he wanted a 2 year engagement. All year long he wasn't excited and really didn't want to plan mostly because of our wedding being far away. But I explained to him that the sooner we start planning and getting and idea of what venue and vendors we will be using and around how much they will cost us, the sooner we can start saving money for each thing we want. Then after that he got more on board again with planning. But him and his cheap parents keep giving me problems over prices of things, I found the cheapest but still good photographer I could for $1200 for the whole day and they complained it was way to expensive, so I made my fiance sit down with me for every vendor just so he could see that I'm not going with the most expensive I'm trying to get reasonably priced people. We are also paying for our whole wedding on our own. With our wedding being less than a year away my fiance is on board and a little more excited, but he won't take the initiative to do stuff, I have to tell him. Hopefully he will come around like mine did.

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree with you on the first booking. I originally thought we could have a wedding for 5k but after looking at the prices of everything it was definitely a huge shock. I knew weddings can be really expensive but I thought maybe I could do it for 5k. And you could do it for that price but you are going to be doing everything yourself. So I had to tell him that we would have to raise our budget to 10k.

Usually men and women who do not feel ready to plan the nuts and bolts of a wedding, start making decisions when wedding day is closer. You are still 25 months out, and you are likely not keeping his interest or getting any follow through because you have started too early for his comfort. I do not know about this year, but usually most venues or caterers won't event take reservations before 18 months and some it is 15 months. The exceptions are usually hugely expensive $50,000 to $100000 functions.
If my FI had pushed me to plan at 2 years plus, we likely would have broken up. Instead of a low key, no pressure engagement until the very end, Two years of planning would have made us both nuts. And irritated with each other. When we could have has another year. It is like picking up a 24 pound backpack a whole year before you plan a back country hike, and carrying that burden all that time because your FI likes doing things early. It is clearly not pleasing your FI. And it is his wedding to not plan until 12-15 months out, as much as it is yours to plan.
See this venue, and find out what they want for a 25% down payment to hold the date. The prices will give you ballpark figures for planning.
During the **** bank failures and the following recession, Huge numbers of restaurants, event venues, caterers, hairdressers, and all wedding industry things, we t bankrupt because no one had any money to spend. And people were nuts over reservations for a year or two away when they completely lost 25%-50%, and never collected a cent. Just as restaurants and theatres and stores and tourist things are closing now, wedding things that have had all reduced size or cancelled weddings will be going under. If you succeed on getting him to commit to a venue and caterer this early, are you prepared to lose $2000 plus if they go under? If I were you I would see who is still open for business in July 2021, then choose things for Oct 22,2022. Can you afford to have people holding thousands of dollars you cannot touch, deposits, if one of you is out of work, while you borrow money to live on?

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Yeah definitely ill look into the budget planner! thanks a bunch!

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Yes definitely!

View Quoted Comment You both will be ok doll

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Were making progress! went on a venue tour today and hes open to it! fingers crossed all goes to plan!! thanks for the tips!

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Haha i think the same way, once we have the venue, everything will fall into place. i think hell be most excited when it comes to choosing food and dj! i don't NEED his help planning, but definitely having the support is good!