Anyone ever have a ex-friend reach out after wedding?

I think it really depends on what she did to you. It's up to you. I have been through this a couple of times (not during wedding planning). When I was in college, one of my best friends decided to cut me out of her life for no reason. She just stopped talking to me for 8 months. I went into such a deep depression that I couldn't be happy with the friends that WERE trying to be there for me. I also chopped my hair off trying to start a new chapter in my life. Finally on her birthday, I typed up an open letter on myspace (yeah it was still big then) to her wishing her a happy birthday despite her actions. She ended up messaging me that we needed to talk. We did talk and it turned out she had gotten addicted to hard drugs and didn't want to face me because I was a no tolerance person with drugs. She got the help she needed and came back and things were great for a few years, but 2 years ago she dropped off again. I have no idea what she is going through, but that's it. I'm done.

Then, another of my friends got upset that I wasn't spending enough time with her in college and she tried to destroy my life. She spread rumors about me to all of our mutual friends, including the ones involved in the rumor but they at least knew the truth. All of my friends left my side for that whole summer and little by little they realized she was crazy and came back to my side. We didn't talk for 3 years and then she sent me a message on facebook asking to talk. We talked and she apologized for everything. She had been going through a hard time in her life and there was a misunderstanding between us so she went off on it. I forgave her and now she's one of my BM! She's been as helpful as she can be living 3 hours away from me.

So I think it's really up to you to decide if you want to hear her out or not.

I can't relate first hand, but I've heard and seen SO many instances of friendships being damaged during wedding planning. Either due to the bride who becomes a demanding and unreasonable bridezilla and treats her friends poorly; OR due to a bridesmaid having jealousy and insecurity issues which causes her to behave badly and lash out during the planning process. It's very sad.

Since you miss the friendship, I would suggest meeting with her and hearing what she has to say. You don't have to continue the relationship but maybe you can discuss what happened and at the very least you can get some answers or closure on the situation. She may want to apologize for her behavior so at least hear her out.

My.friend and I didn't have our falling out during a wedding, but 8 years ago she did basically disappear out of my life without so much as a goodbye and with no explanation. In that time she got married and divorced and her family from time to time would try to ask me questions about what was going on with her. I would always have to say I don't know, she doesn't talk to me.

Then last week I ran into her in the grocery store. She wants to catch up, like nothing ever happened. I don't even know what I want.

Yes, I think you should meet up with her and hear what she has to say. You two were really great friends and you sound like you miss her and it seems as though she misses you too. The fact that she reached out to you shows that she does care. We all make mistakes. If we didn't have forgiveness, we would be doomed. Hear her out and open your heart. I know she hurt you, but try and see if you can put it behind you and move forward. Things may not be exactly the same between you two, but life is way too short to hold grudges. Hear what she has to say at least. All the best!

I do miss the friendship. I have a feeling that when we meet, she'll be a sobbing mess of tears. I know she's going to pour her heart out to me. It's just so hard to forgive but I'm also a big pushover who will probably tell her everything is okay and of course we can be friends again.

Melissa: was it hard for you to forgive? Did it take time? That almost sounds worse than what my friend did to me.

Emily: I was thinking it might be good closure. It's one thing I didn't get, and I feel like it would put my mind at ease. I ask myself a lot "Why?" with regards to the situation so maybe hearing her answer that would help.

Renee: This is how I feel. Very similar situation. I don't know what I want either. I'm fairly sure that I don't want to keep the friendship going. It's just not worth the time and effort for this to happen again. I never fight with friends, never have. I try so hard to please everyone and make everyone around me happy. I hate this stress.

Jan87: Life is too short to hold grudges, yes. I don't ever hold grudges, I'm a very forgiving person. But life is also too short to keep and hold on to friendships that just aren't worth it. She treated me like I was dirt. Before things got really bad, there were signs. I was upset one day, texted her to call me and told her that I just needed a friend. She told me to go on facebook and find a friend there. Is that really worth it? That was only a tiny incident of many many more.

It sounds like your friend may have been going through a really rough time and was taking it out on you. For me, it wasn't hard to forgive. I really missed them both, especially the one that had stopped talking to me. I understood why they did what they did and it made me feel bad that they felt they couldn't talk to me about their problems. As for the one that one that spread rumors, since it did take 3 years, I had already cooled down by then. At first I was hurt, but by then, I had all of my friends back and she was working on apologizing to everyone. I will say that our friendship will never be as close as it used to be, but that is because we aren’t in a position to be that close anymore. We can’t have sleepovers because we both live with our SOs and we live 3 hours away from each other, but at least we can text throughout the day and visit each other.

I think you should meet up with her. It's a good way to get all feelings out on the table and really communicate about your feelings. Even if it doesn't result in you forgiving her, it can give you closure and an understanding about why things happened. She's not asking for things to go back to the way they were, but just sit and talk. From there its up to you on what you choose to do.

Definitely meet up with her. I'm not saying it will be easy, but it could potentially answer questions and relieve you of some of the 'what ifs?'.

Girl this could not have hit home more. First I will tell you my friendship with my best friend slowly dwindled through college and I saw that she was changing into a person who lied constantly. I gave her over 5 years of grace and then realized that it was not a healthy friendship for me, because I was pouring all I was into it and putting all my other friends (who were truly there for me) aside...through my parents divorce I saw what people were truly there and who werent. (she told me the divorce was not a big deal and I would survive. who says that?) I never "ended" our friendship, just stopped giving 100% (and when you are the only one giving anything, the friendship dwindles) it was not til I was engaged when she wanted to talk to me again and meet up. She was expecting to be in my wedding, my maid of honor. I met with her and tried hanging out more but she was just the same (and ironically she had already committed to a wedding my wedding weekend so that helped an awkward situation). I def say to meet her, and I really hope your meeting goes better than mine...she could have genuinely changed! go in with an open mind but also not any expectations good luck and let us know how it goes!

And one last thing, my fiance has been supportive and encourages me that some people are in your lives for a season...no bitterness or grudge held, just the fact that her season with you is finished! (cling to this if things havent changed

Thank you everyone for the advice. I will meet up with her, it feels like the right thing to do. It won't be easy, but I'm going to have to do my best to be open and honest with her. I'm use to keeping my feelings to myself.

Thank you again for all the advice.

I had a falling out with my bestfriend awhile ago, he was my closest male friend. Ok it was more of him having a falling out with me. I never did anything wrong but he pretty much accused me of having an issue with his relationship (meanwhile I was in my own relationship and my ex considered him a friend and i really didnt have any issues with his relationship) we got into it and poof he cut me off and we never spoke for over a year. Fast forward over a year later... I was so hurt and angry with him about what happened and i never fully understood what went on. We used to be so close. When my ex and I broke up, I didnt know who else to call, and I ended up texting my friend... he was the one I would always talk to when things were hard and it just happened without me thinking about how mad i still was at him, and he answered and called me. And even though I was hurt, before all the drama he was a very good friend. Turns out he was going through a lot at the time and had issues with a manipulative girlfriend who pretty much told him he couldnt have me as a friend, but he had recently broke up and apologized for everything and we really had a heart to heart. It took a little to get all those bad feelings out there. But I forgave him and we are close again. I missed my best friend and even though he really hurt me by his words and actions I was able to forgive and not hold on to it.

Idk what this person did, however each situation is different, but look at the bigger picture. Do not let one event or a few events ruin the friendship if its not worth that but dont just throw caution to the wind and say you forgive but in your heart your not ready to. It doesnt hurt to meet up and see what she has to say. And go with your gut