anyone like to give a couple something through Honeyfund?

I really don't like honeymoon funds but I'm not even sure why. it just rubs me the wrong way. I don't think I would ever contribute to one

I don't like them based on the middle man / percentage taken aspects, but I'm not offended by them. I'm not sure why some don't see money or a vacation as "benefitting the couple." Personally I'd get a lot more benefit from a nice relaxing trip with FH than a random piece of kitchen equipment. And quite frankly, most people can afford a lot of the stuff off a more traditional registry, so that argument also makes no sense. It's just a suggestion of gifts the couple likes if you choose to give.

Beyond my own personal issues with Honeyfunds, the whole idea seem a little silly to me. What if someone purchased dinner on the beach or scuba lessons, but there weren't enough donations to pay for the hotel room? The couple may subsidize the lacking funds to be able to take the trip, but chances are your gift for the scuba lessons will be eaten up by the expenses of just staying at the resort. So, it seems kind of silly to let someone believe they bought you scuba lessons when they didn't. Plus, what happens if there isn't enough donated to even take the trip? In that case, does the couple just get a check for the amount donated (minus fees for handling the account)? I have no idea how or if these funds really work the way guests think they do. That's why I always give money. You can't improve on cash.

I also have one set up. Like A&J said, it's way to give an experience instead of a gift. Just because it is set up, doesn't mean people have to purchase from it, nor do they have to purchase from our BBB or walmart registry. It's just an there as an option.

ETA: I have it set up so that people cant "buy" on the website. They print a voucher for what they choose, and then put a check to bring with the wedding. The site is only on our wedding website, and that is the only place it is advertised. If people think it's rude, they can just not use it.

H and I typically give cash at weddings, and once it's gifted it's not my concern what they do with the money. I don't mind honeyfunds, except for the fact that they take a portion of the gift. So I'd much rather write a check directly to the couple so I know they get the full amount, than go through a service.

Some sites work that the money goes directly to a travel agent or excursion company. Others work that the money goes directly to the couple. They're all different. We are paying for our honeymoon either way, we just thought if people would like to get us a gift, contributing to that would be nice

Kathryn, I do understand what you mean about the shower. I wasn't going to have a shower since we don't have a normal registry but my friend really wants to throw me one so I created a small lingerie/honeymoon stuff registry. I think it is weird to just open envelopes at a shower since the point is to shower the bride with gifts. But, hey, to each his own.

I really don't have an issue with a Honeyfund. Before coming to WW I didn't think it was a huge deal. I would probably rather give the couple cash inside of a card though.

I guess when it comes down to it i really am not comfortable with asking for things in general, i only set up a registry because there are things i would want if i have a shower and there are things we need.

so it put me off knowing that there are cheaper options for honeymoons and they apparently don't want to wait to see what they will be able to afford to do after the wedding

Honestly, the money is going to their bank account. FH cousin is getting married at the end of May and she set up a honeyfund account. It breaks it up more because people think they are 'buying the couple dinner for $50', but really the money is just deposited (after a deducation) into her account, so how they really end up spending the money may be different.

We booked our honeymoon through AAA, they do a 'registry', but you don't really do anything. They send you cards basically stating 'if you wish to contribute to X and X honeymoon, please contact blah blah blah, but this date'. Since they sent us the card my MOH included them in my shower invite along with the Macy's registration card. This takes out a middle man though because the money was being put right towards our trip through the actual agent. Only one person contributed (the deadline was this past Monday). Although, My shower is next weekend and I know people tend to wait until the last minute, so had the deadline date be on or after the shower date it may have been different. Sometimes people give money at the shower verse a gift and same for the wedding, so honestly other than knowing that there was money toward the honeymoon up front it was no different than me paying for it and they giving me cash later on. It all works out the same. I think that when people do honeyfunds like that though they barely register for anything else, so there isn't a another option gift wise (other than cash)

@jillian she barely had anything on her registry so i had kept checking it and then the honeyfund popped up the other day ( clearly she wanted money anyway)

ETA: i am not giving to the honeyfund, just curious if anyone did.

also good to know how it works, i didnt know that

Cash over honeyfund.

@surfergirl Perhaps they already know they can afford it and want to take a lavish trip but they figure if someone is going to get them a gift, might as well be a part of that? I don't know them so I can't say. We would have planned the same honeymoon we have whether or not people contributed to it. We just figure, if people want to get us something, why not just contribute to that?

In buying gifts for others for birthdays, holidays, etc I made a change years ago from buying gifts to buying experiences. I did this mostly because I'd rather have an experience with someone that we'll remember forever instead of buying another trinket that the person may or may not need. Giving the gift of an experience helps families to do things together, it brings couples closer, and allows many people to have a chance to do things they might not otherwise do for themselves.

I would equate this to having a family go on vacation for Christmas where everyone pays their own way with the money that would usually be used on a gift. No gifts are given - the gift is having the family together and doing activities in a new place. I would much rather have (and give) this kind of gift - that strengthens families and connections - rather than another item that will be forgotten about in a few years. A few years ago I bought my FH a scenic helicopter flight for Christmas. We both went together and it was amazing - definitely brought us closer together, rather than tools or something.

I am sure your right erica.

I'm not against the honeyfunds, but like others, I would rather give them the amount of cash in a card since they do loose a portion of it. I think contributing towards a trip isn't a terrible idea overall. Some of the best times and memories I have with FH are the cruises we've gone on. That's when we make memories, not pulling out the *insert random household item that you might use regularly or not very regularly, but should have on hand anyways* and thinking 'oh yeah remember xyz'

I would rather give cash so that they got the entire amount rather than losing some of it to the middle man on fees (even credit card fees).

I wouldn't give money at a wedding. I prefer to get a gift. It requires thought and effort.

I'd do whatever the couple wants me to do. I really don't mind giving them cash or contributing to their honeymoon fund. Whatever they want to make them happy. I would never ask for cash but wouldn't mind helping out the couple.

I am like you Andi i really like to give a physical gift, i feel like i actually put effort in. I got her something off the registry and i am also going to homegoods and putting a basket together. We will probably end up giving her a card with money too (its an immediate family member)

So i guess there are a few of you then that would like giving the experience. i guess i never thought of it like that. i just know i wont be having one.