anyone like to give a couple something through Honeyfund?

We always do cash at the wedding and a gift at the shower. I haven't been invited to a wedding with a honeyfund, or at least if they had one it wasn't advertised. I'm not sure how I feel about them, but I would certainly side-eye going to a shower with no actual gift registry. Like PPs have said, opening envelopes is weird and it just rubs me the wrong way.

ETA: The reason the honeyfund discussions go crazy on here is because they start out with. "FH and I really don't NEED anything, so how do we politely say we just want cash?"

If you were actually able to pay for the excursions rather than them cutting a check I might like to do it. It is sort of like a gift in the sense that it is more personal/thoughtful than cash. As it is though I wouldn't do it.

We had two family members who knew we were going to Greece gift us Euros. I thought that was really sweet and we were able to do something special on the honeymoon that wasn't already budgeted for (a catamaran tour in our case). We will always remember that they allowed us to do that with their gift versus cash that went into a savings account - just as appreciated but not as memorable.

In general, I think giving experiences as gifts is great, but not the way honeyfunds do it. As in, if you know someone likes a particular musician or sports team, then tickets to a concert/sporting event makes a great gift. But in that case, you're actually buying the tickets directly, not giving money to a site that takes a cut for the idea of buying an experience, if that makes any sense.

I just had my shower this past weekend and probably half of our gifts were towards the honeyfund. Honeymoon registries are pretty common around here. I set it up so that people had to print the voucher for the tour/activity and then give either cash or check, that way no % is taken out. We also had registires at BBB and Crate & Barrel so those that prefer to give a physical gift had plenty of items to choose from.

I find it very interesting that people find these so offensive-- we set up a Honeyfund with the thought that people might feel better putting the money 'towards something' (even though yes, it does just come to us as a lump sum), rather than just giving us cash. (We have barely anything on our registry, all cheap stuff, we don't need much). We are going to send them a picture of us enjoying whatever they contributed to (e.g. a pic of us having a drink for those who gave us money 'for drinks', a pic of us boarding the plane for those who put money 'towards tickets'). We thought this would show how much we appreciated their gift. And we've actually gotten lots of "oh that's a great idea!" comments from family, but I guess everyone has a different perspective.

Our honeymoon site actually allows us to upload pictures and send custom postcards as thank yous to people, similar to what you're doing RdeG. I thought that was really cool.

I always give cash or a gift that I know suits the couple. I just hate the idea of the honey fund. It feels too mercenary to me. I know that doesn't sound logical, but nothing about weddings is....

Since I prefer experiences over material things, I love the idea of gifting others an experience. I thought Honeyfund was a great idea for my wedding until reading the threads about it here. I didn't realize they take a percentage of the money gifted and I didn't realize the negative feelings associated with it. I don't personally have a problem with honeymoon funds, but I would never want to offend my guests by making it seem like I'm asking for money.

I have a no problem with providing extra experiences for an already booked trip, I think it's a nice alternative. Stuff like their flights and accommodations...not so much.

We're having a honeymoon registry (not through honeyfund, directly with the resort) in addition to a traditional one, but just for extras that we'd also pay for ourselves if no one uses the honeymoon registry. It's just another option for people to choose from.

I personally do not see the big deal with a honeyfund. If the couple is stable and happy with their life and would rather have a nice honeymoon it gives them an opportunity to have their guests contribute to that instead of something they may never use or did not need in the first place.

FH really wants us to do a Carnival honeymoon registry, doesn't get why it's tacky.

I think it's especially tacky when that's the only place that you register, but then still want to have a shower. Love a friend to death but she did this and some people still bought gifts (not many) so we basically just sat and watched her open cards full of receipts/cash/checks for her honeymoon and it was really awkward. That felt more like a fundraiser than anything.

That's my feeling, it feels like a fundraiser. Why not wait to see what you get after the wedding to do all these things that are on the honeyfund especially if you know your already going?

I would give cash/check instead of a gift if I knew that the "wedding gift" the couple wanted most was this trip of a lifetime. But I would never do it through a honeyfund, because they take a percentage of the gift as commission and I would rather have my entire gift go to the couple. Like Emmy said, it's not like the money is actually going to book that particular event/activity.

Nope, I will never contribute. I usually write a check as a wedding gift and if the couple chooses to use my gift towards their honeymoon, that is fine. I would never contribute solely to their vacation.

When a relative of mine got married a few years back she had a honeymoon fund for things like the snorkling. I almost got a snorkling lesson, but changed my mind because there was only one day during the cruise they could do it, if they didn't they just missed out.

glad I didn't, turned out they would have missed it since they missed the first day of the cruise due to a record breaking blizzard!

I don't think it's ballsy. honeymoons are a big deal, and lots of people plan expensive ones. they cost what they cost. what does the overall cost of the honeymoon have to do with them giving guests the option to give them a experience for a gift vs a set of knives?

Most of our guests are traveling for the wedding since all our families live in different states, so we actually don't want any gifts. They'll be spending enough to get there as it is. But my mom was adamant that we at least make a honeymoon registry. We ended up making one, but there is no percentage taken out. That part is optional if you want them to be able to use credit cards. Despite us trying to make it clear we don't want gifts, I know some people will still bring them. I just figure for some people (obviously not all) it might feel just a little more special knowing they contributed to whatever specific thing rather than just giving us cash. I'm a big fan of "experience presents" anyway, so it doesn't really bother me. Our honeymoon is paid for and we will be going regardless, so we are in no way relying on money from gifts to cover anything.

Ultimately, I don't care if people use it or not. We ended up making another actual registry because my aunts surprised me and are throwing me a shower (and I agree that it is weird to only have a honeymoon registry for something like that). I really just want everyone we love there, regardless of them bringing a physical gift, honeymoon gift/cash, or nothing at all.

I don't like them. The couple wouldn't get the exact amount of money they are given because the company gets a cut of it. So if I gave them $100, they might actually only be getting $80 something. Also, I feel that it would make more sense to give them something that they can actually use for something that they can keep. If I pay for one of the activities on their honeymoon, sure they will enjoy it, but it's done in a day.

I would never do one myself but if a friend had one set up and that's what they wanted, I would contribute or just give cash!! I wouldn't want to buy a useless gift just so you look like you put some effort into picking one out.

I wouldn't, because I know those registries take a percentage. I would rather give the couple a check, and then they can cash it and still spend it on their honeymoon activities, or whatever else they want to spend it on!

ETA: I agree that people should go on a honeymoon they can afford, and not expect guests to fund it.

Say the bride and groom also want a new fence for their yard. Am I going to buy them a few planks and call it a day? No. I'm going to give them cash and let them decide if they want to put it towards a fence or use it for the flat tire they just blew. I'm all about cash for gifts, you never know when something pops up and heck, if they want to snorkel that badly they can buy it themselves.