Anyone not having a Day of Coordinator?

Can't tell memebers how/what to post.

Can't tell people how to post.

Hire a DOC or do it yourself. Don't make your family members work your wedding. I've set up a wedding before and it took hours with a dozen people helping. It sucked.

You can't tell us how to post. My main issue with not having one wouldn't be the set-up but dealing with vendors. Making sure people are there when they are suppose to be, dealing with potential disasters. Things like that. If my cake has to be remade 3 hours before the wedding, I'm happy that my DOC is doing damage control and not me.

Will your venue allow you to set up the night before? That's what I am doing. Everything will be good to go except flowers, the bar, and the food, which will be done the day of.

No DOC for me, I plan on showing up as early as I can with FH to set up what I can, then going to get ready. I might have to run home for a quick shower in between but a DOC is not in my budget so I will make it work. I am thankful that the caterer shows up 2 hours before hand and will set up all the plates, napkins and other things but as far as decor goes, thats on me.

UO: I don't think there's a problem with asking family members to help with some quick set up and quick clean up. So long as it's not overly complicated (i.e. does not require ladders) and takes less than an hour (ideally less than 30 mins).

I'm not hiring a DOC. I have 7 brothers in law. My florist will set up my florals, so the only decor I need my FBILs to do is set out some candles on a fireplace mantle, set out a few photos of me and FH and then lay out the guest book table. At the end of the night they'll gather the gifts and photos up and we'll invite the guests to take whatever decor they would like to minimize clean up.

I have a venue manager who acts as a DOC as sorts....basically she'll direct my vendors where to go and put things...but she doesn't decorate and she doesn't take vendor calls that may require input/guidance. This is where i think a DOC is worth their salt...but I think as long as you really communicate with your vendors ahead of time and appoint a family member to take over in case of emergencies, you're fine.

I never asked family for help, they are begging to help and don't want me to hire one. It's a simple and small venue. Anyone had any luck without a DOC?

I'm having a small 50 person wedding also.I don't know about your venue, but, do the lights first. I helped with a DIY hop hanging with tulle it took hours.

If you family wants to help let them.The tables will be quick and easy . I'm also not having a DOC.

@ayemvee your opinion is unpopular bc it's rude.

Ask your venue if they have anyone available for an hour to do set up? Ask if there is anyone they usually use to do this. Ask your caterer if they could set this up for an extra charge. Ask if they know anyone who does this.

I found a local company who does all kinds of odd jobs services who came in and flipped our room for us. I paid them a couple hundred and they did an amazing job. They met with us before and took pics of final look and they made sure it was perfect.

I am also a HUGE supporter of it's your wedding day and you need to relax. We were at hair and MUA at 9am for our 4pm wedding. We only really sat for about 45 minutes drinking wine and eating. But we didn't have to rush. We never felt pressured for time. It was good. I can't imagine having to rush to venue to decorate and then rush home.

Can your florist set up the centerpieces and stuff? My florist offers reception decorating or setup for a small fee. Maybe see if yours could do that so you and your family don't have to worry about setting up the day of.

Hopless,thank you for the post.It reminded me of another thing I want to ask our officiants.

Every family is differnt.We were sitting at a relatives house and were discussing what all we had to do in Va.A photographer was mention,relative said cross it off.Apperently a relative has a professional grade camera.Works for me!

@MrsNerd So it's rude to have them take 20 damn minutes of their night to set a few things out? Excuse me if I don't think it's worth hiring a DOC for an hour. Family is family. Minimal help is fine. I would never sideeye a family member because they asked me to set out a few little decorations. I've helped them do much more...including move from one house to another...as I'm sure you have.

How ever are you going to get your gifts and guest book home if you don't ask a family member to lift a finger on their way out?

ETA: I should also mention these brothers are walking down the aisle with us and I haven't asked them to spend or do hardly anything. They are renting a vest and tie for $40. That's it. Why is it considered within etiquette to request a groomsman or bridesmaid to spend 150 on a dress/tux but you can't ask a family member to take care of a few little things? One requires a significant amount of money that can make budgeting really tough. The other requires a small amount of time where they'd probably be hanging out with you at the venue doing nothing anyway.

I'm lucky to have true family and friends who ask me what they can do to help. It's almost like they want to help since we try to be there for each other.

You said you can't afford a DOC, so let's work with what you've got.

It doesn't sound like you have too much to do (not unmanageable at all). I'd take the advice of PPs to see if your venue will let you do any decorating the night before, at least to put up the lights.

My primary concern would be with handling vendors and drop-offs the day of. My friends who didn't have a DOC spent much of their morning juggling phone calls and stressing. Can someone help you with this--maybe your mom or a family member (someone who is familiar with the details) can be the contact person? You'll also need someone to take any cards and gifts to the car or hotel room before it gets too late, help distribute final payments and tips, and grab everything at the end of the night. If you have a DJ, he/she should be able to emcee and introduce any events. Your florist, cake baker, and caterer should be able to set up their respective materials/products, maybe even the linens.

Just a heads up, in case you have any wiggle room at all: You might be able to find an event planner/DOC who's just starting out and needs to build a portfolio/get recommendations, or even a college student studying event management and looking for experience, for much less. I did that and found my DOC for $300, which includes a second person, 8 hours the day of, and 2 meetings beforehand to finalize details.

ETA: Just realized I basically repeated AyEmVee. So sorry!

We are not having a DOC but the venue is doing some set up for us. Florist will set up her portion. Decorations will be set up by the company we hired to do decor. If someone doesn't show up. Oh well. I'll just get a refund after the fact. Sure I would be disappointed with no flowers but it wouldn't be the end of my life or anything. All of my vendors are paid so I'll just give out tip envelopes and be done with it.

I agree that it depends on the family and the situation regarding having help from them regarding setup. People have to remember that in many families and cultures it's actually considered rude to refuse their help, not the other way around. So maybe for your wedding it would be distasteful to have a family member help set out a few centerpieces, but for others it could be perfectly fine. I know I'm already having a hard enough time telling my in laws to not help with things financially, my MIL might lose her mind if I tell her she can't help set some stuff up on the wedding day. So it's not one size fits all in these types of situations. I understand general etiquette but I don't believe this goes for every situation.

We have a wedding planner for the wedding. But we don't have one for the reception. We only have two before to deal with since the reception is all done by one place and the dj is done by the wedding planner.

So... I'm going to say you might not need one. But you do need someone you trust to do that work. We are having our groomsmen set things up as soon as our tables are delivered the day of. I'm not worried about it at all!!

It's possible....we have 7 tables (65 max guest venue) with minimal set up. Ours also starts at 4pm. Totally doable but definitely delegate that task to someone else just in case things don't go as planned the morning/afternoon of.

@ayemvee, if you're still here, and for what it's worth, I owe you a big apology. I was just skimming and didn't even read your comment fully, and was just a bitch for zero reason. Just wanted to leave that here.