Anyone stressing about weird family situations?

My FH's parents are separated and his dad initiated divorce proceedings about 2 months ago (great timing). They live in separate states and basically haven't been in the same room since his sister got married a couple years ago. His mom is "challenging" to be around sometimes and is unpredictable. We have no idea how this is going to all go down. There are a million minefields...where they sit during the ceremony, how to do introductions (I think we are not going to do parent introductions at all), what to do about pictures...

I am just going to go with the flow and try to ignore anything that gets stirred up. I hope they can pull it together for a couple photos and then I just hope the wedding is big enough they stay in their own corners!

Thank goodness his dad isn't bringing his girlfriend... (even though I really like her and have spent more time with her than his mom...but that would be a disaster)!

Hang in there. I have a few people who know the situation ready to diffuse anything that seems likely to get out of hand. His sisters are in the wedding and will be on the lookout as well as my day of coordinator, etc. Beyond that, I'm going to make sure I have a great day and my FH has a great day--the other people can fend for themselves!

My parents can file for divorce at anytime now...my mom keeps bringing it up to me but I just ignore her...hoping that she's smart enough not to do that and stir things up with him until after my wedding. Thankfully my mom is one of my MOH's so they won't have to sit together during the wedding...I'm not having assigned seating so that won't be an issue...we're having a sweetheart table so I won't have to worry about that...mainly just the pictures and the reception is the only time they'll be near one another. But both my mom and dad's family know the situations...FH's family knows the situation...and they all know how I feel about it so I'm sure they'll diffuse anything that gets started. He says he might have a couple of beers and then leave...I'm hoping he does. But like you I'm trying to just make up my mind that I'm going to have a great day with the man of my dreams...ignore any BS...and whatever happens with them happens...they're on their own. He HAS to know that if he were to start anything and ruin my day that I will NEVER talk to him again...so hopefully it'll be smooth sailing...you just never know with him.

Have you considered hiring security? If you think things may escalate into even just a verbal argument, it may be a good idea to have someone available to escort them out of the party. . .

My parents have been divorced for years and both are remarried. However, my dad still actively hates my mom! It's so awkward. I can only imagine what the wedding will bring. I totally sympathize.

@Barbara - I've thought about hiring security but it doesn't really fit in my budget unfortunately. I would say 90% of our guest know the situation and know how my dad is and can get and they will not put up with it. So IF anything were to happen it would be taken care of I'm sure.

@Danielle - I just don't get it. Why even be like that...it doesn't get them anywhere or change anything. I've made my mind up that I'm not letting ANYONE or ANYTHING ruin MY wedding. It's SO frustrating.

Drama? Yes!! So...my step-mom raised me and I call her mom. My "real" mom and I have a relationship now but I do not call her mom. Both will be there and my step-mom has been OBSESSING over this since she HATES my "real" mom with everything that is in her...even though she hasn't seen the woman since 1983. She is insisting that they sit nowhere near each other, that she is not going to talk to her or acknowledge her and refuses to be in any pictures with her. She even went to far as to tell me that having my "real" mom there is incredibly hurtful to both her and my dad...so basically if I invite all of my family it's like saying I don't care about my dad and step-mom. Ugh!!! Enough to make me want to elope!!

My only advise is to not let it get to you. If he makes a scene you can ask him to leave and continue on with your day. I finally had to get to that point. If my step-mom wants to get all worked up about my "real" mom being there, that is her choice. The only thing I can control is how I react to it. I refuse to let her jealousy ruin my day!

Right there with you. my parents have been divorced since i was a baby.. my real mom and i have never gotten along (she kinda ran off and started another family and forgot ab my sister and i) so i never have really let her live that down. well i just one day got over it and tried to start a relationship.. well its pretty much been me talking to a wall. im inviting her, my step dad (and i dare him to say one wrong thing to me..i have lots of reasons not to care for him), and my two half sisters (love those two). im inviting that whole side of the family actually and i really only expect my aunt lauren and grandfather and grandmother to show.

now heres where the drama comes in...

my dad (best dad ever!) HATES THEM! with a passion. hates that whole side of the family. lots of custody issues over me when i was a weeeee little baby is what made him hate them. (long story short that side of the family wouldnt allow him to have custody/see me.. lovely family i have right?)

so its like, will my bio mother show up and make my day (i really would love to see her) or will she send the kids with gramps and skip out? or will half sister have a "oh so important soccer tournament that weekend"? will that side of the family start things with my dad? will any of them show up? will my dad get drunk and get sassy?

nothing like a wedding to bring out the family drama! lol but in all reality, nothing has happened yet. im just prepared for it lol

That's the mid set I have now. If he wants to show out that's his choice...I'm not playing into it and I'm NOT putting up with it! If he wants to start showing out I will simply call three little numbers on my phone and have him removed and I will write him off completely. I know that's bad to say but it's true...and the same goes for any other guest that wants to act out for that matter.

I have nightly nightmares that my dad's on again, Now off again girlfriend is going to crash the party and cause a riot.

http://offbeatbride.com/2014/07/misbehaving-wedding-guests

That is the best article I've ever read about Trouble Guests, I hope it helps you

@Kristen - Wow! I hope your day goes uneventful!

As far as my wedding goes things have been uneventful with those two. My dad did make the comment that it was going to be weird...and I told him it will only be weird if you choose to make it weird. Who cares if my mom is going to be there...go and have fun...don't worry about her. You shouldn't be worried about her anyways...y'all aren't even together! LOL But like you said...I'm prepared for anything at this point.

@courtney i feel thats all we can do is be prepared. do i honestly think any of my family will do anything.. no. do i have my dads very large bestfriend playing security just incase, yes. i think both of us will be fine. esp since its our parents. ultimately and deep down i think they just want us to be happy on our day no matter how awful their situation is... we just cant make them take pictures together lol

Soooo many awkward situations!

1) Parents are divorced (thankfully still remain good friends).

2) Mom is with someone new(who I can't really stand, but have to invite him to the wedding) but has been on again off again for 13 years.

3) Brother is on drugs/an addict.

4) Haven't had a good relationship with my sister for years, but attempting to rebuild it. She also struggles with addiction.

Feeling stressed because my mom's relationship is always so volatile. Never knowing if they're together or not. Not sure if I want to invite my brother for obvious reasons. Same reason for my sister. *sigh*

@Kristen I completely agree! Deep down I don't think anyone will start anything b/c like you said...it's our PARENTS. I'm just a worry wart and I hate drama and I worry about things I have no business worrying about usually, haha. I do think I might do some research on security...just to see their prices...but you have a great idea getting your dad's friend to do it...FH knows plenty of very large/muscular people that I'm sure will be more than happy to play security.

My relationship and subsequent engagement to FH has caused his grown children to hold him at arm's length. His divorce from their mother was not amicable at all and she (the ex) has been yapping in their ears about how awful he is. I am concerned that they will come out of obligation and not because they would be truly happy for their dad and I'm afraid that I'll have to look at their sour puss faces all day :-( His daughter is due with her third right at the beginning of October and is already using the baby as a definite excuse not to attend. I'm not sad about that at all, but I know FH is going to be hurt with it, so of course my heart hurts for him.

Also, my mom is an alcoholic and has been hitting it pretty hard lately and I'm afraid that she'll be an obnoxious, blithering idiot...it doesn't take much for her to start slurring her words and turn into an emotional sap....God the thought of it is already frustrating me...GRRRRRRR.

Ahhhhhhh families...can't live with 'em and you can't kill 'em...LOL ;-)

My FFIL is very anti-gay and my brother is gay and married to a wonderful man, who I have considered my BIL all along (they've been together 30 years, but just married last year). So I hope FFIL will be on good behavior about that.

@MnDex that breaks my heart about your FH and his kids!! i was prepared for alcoholic family members when ive been going through the comments but not that! goodness. i wish you the best of luck!

It sucks to be worrying about family stuff when there is so much wedding stuff to worry about. I have many weird things in my family but my biggest worry is my dad. It sucks to be worrying about family stuff when there is so much wedding stuff to worry about. My dad is 94 and in a nursing home (he had me when he was 62 and my mom was 25). I am his only relative nearby and I visit him twice a week and am the only person that visits him. He depends on me for a lot. We weren't very close until he went into a nursing home and I had to move him to be near me so he wouldn't be completely alone in a nursing home in another state. He has a lot of health issues and a bit of dementia now. I am freaking out about the wedding day because he always wants my full attention and can get jealous when there are other people around. He also has some health issues that are embarrassing to me and whether it's right or wrong make me self conscious to have him there in front of a bunch of people. I will have to make sure he has special transportation for him to get there in his wheelchair as well as have a nurse be with him. I think I am only going to have him there for the ceremony though, he will be too tired to go to the reception. I know this day will mean a lot to him though and it will all work out.

Angela...I feel for you. My mom has dementia, and mostly good days so far, but no telling how she will be by November, and if the wedding is on one of her better days. It does suck to be trying to plan this happy celebration when you have family things to worry about, and I know how much time and energy that takes away. Hang in there!

My sister could VERY potentially have a baby on the dance floor ... so there's that.

And my FH's father (and his entire family) are divided down the middle due to a big issue/event that happened a few years ago. We aren't so concerned that anything will happen at the wedding (they are all respectful and will behave) as we are that no one will show up because they think the other half of the family will be there.

I so want my FH to have his family there to celebrate but there is a very real possibility that he won't have very many

My parents are divorced (and have been for a very long time). Both remarried, but my stepmother has since passed away. They are mostly okay with each other now, but it's still tense.

One of my father's best friends is married to the woman that my father cheated on my mother with. They are invited to the wedding. That could be potentially super awkward, as my mother, understandably, hates this woman.

One of my mother's best friends ex husband is the one who is married to the woman my father cheated on my mother with. This ex husband left my mother's friend for this woman. She (mother's friend) is also invited to the wedding. She is the one I'm most worried about, to be honest.

I don't have any advice, but I can certainly sympathize with awkward family situations!