Are bachelorette trips normal?

It’s normal! It’s a shame people can’t just be honest!

Bachelorette parties are very common. We did a trip for mine that was about 3-4 hours from everyone who attended.
Your MIL is probably just old school. Most bridesmaids know when they accept a request to be a part of a wedding that there is a financial obligation. That being said, if they can’t make the trip, that is fine.

MIL has no input, she is not invited. Don't let her shame you into something you don't want. To answer your question though, I've been on destination bach parties for 15+ years now. My man does international trips with his male friends. For our own wedding, we were more laid back.

Go have fun.

I literally just came back from a weekend trip for my bachelorette and it was fabulous and everyone really enjoyed themselves. For $300 per person ($215USD) we stayed for 2 nights in an AirBNB in our nearby wine region (2 hour drive), did an all day wine tour, and had all food and drinks covered.

A few months ago I raised this idea with everyone, told them the approximate costs involved and asked them to be open and transparent as to whether they were in or not. Every person I invited came and had a really wonderful time.

No one had an issue with taking a day off work or spending that money and even if they did, the whole point of discussing the plans some time in advance was to gauge whether it would suit everyone and was within budget.

I would 100% have done it again or would go on that kind of trip in future for other peoples' bachelorettes - to me it was so much more memorable than a night out on the town.

The thing I always wonder about people who are super against bachelorette trips is what they genuinely think brides who don’t live near their bridal party should do? My only local bridesmaid was my husband’s sister, who is not a close friend? Should I only have been able to celebrate with her? Or did I not deserve a bachelorette at all? I’m genuinely curious!

I wouldn’t travel or spend a whole weekend for a bachelorette party especially if it’s not something I would voluntarily spend money on for myself. I think it gets excessive at a certain point when people are spending $500-900+ per person for just a weekend. People may go along with it, but I doubt that’s how they’d spend their own money if they didn’t feel at least slightly obligated to go. That’s just my opinion on it

Clearly it's a personal choice. A bach trip wasn't for me. I didn't want my girls to shell out more money, take time off from work and have to spend a weekend away with people they aren't all close with. I don't agree that asking someone to be in your bridal means they have to shell out a lot of money for every festivity and all the things that go with it. We did a night on the town, had a blast and didn't break the bank.
You should totally do a bach trip if that's what you want and it's ok if not everyone may be able to join.

I have been seeing a TON of brides in my area (friends from college, etc) doing the multiple day long, waaaaay out of town (like needing a plane out of town) trips, and personally I think it’s absurd. One of my maids of honor is graciously hosting a Halloween sleepover at her house for my bachelorette party because I don’t want to break the bank for anyone and frankly don’t like long weekends away. It’s a lot to ask for huge trips. But bachelorette parties ARE common and they are often times a lot of fun!

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I completely agree with your assessment and opinions. I, too, am older and have zero desire for anything more than a one night/evening party. Weddings and all of the associated parties and showers and rehearsal dinners have spiraled out of control. It is too exhausting. Think about what you really truly can afford and what you want and plan accordingly. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment No one who is opposed to a weekend sleepover via airplane in an expensive lodging is saying “don’t have one at all”. The options are not one extreme or the other. It used to be much more common for it to be a single night on the town with all bridesmaids the night before the wedding. Same for the guys’ party. That is still a celebration with those from out of the area. At the same time, it’s not something the bride traditionally plans herself either because she is the guest of honor.

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I think it is fair to say that bachelorette / bachelor parties have evolved since they originated and today it doesn't really matter who plans the event, when it is or where it is so long as the event is planned with regard to the guests' best interests to the best extent possible and otherwise with an open outlook that not everyone may be able to attend and respecting that decision.

I went completely against the grain in planning my own bachelorette and having a weekend trip for it and worked to make it accommodate everyone but even then, had any of the girls not been able to make it, whether for financial reasons, due to work commitments or otherwise, I would have been totally understanding and communicated that to them from the get go.

At the end of the day, between people living in different areas, having different commitments and budgets and so forth, it is not always possible to accommodate everyone and do what everyone wants and I think being realistic about that (and otherwise where possible, at least trying to accommodate people) is key.

View Quoted Comment Interesting thoughts. I don’t think this really answers my question. I am in awe of brides and grooms who party the night before their wedding! All I wanted to do after our welcome party was sleep!

View Quoted Comment Welcome parties for all guests are a new trend all their own as an alternative to a laid back rehearsal dinner for those involved in the ceremony only. It depends on the group and what is common for them. Some have the low key bachelorette the weekend prior but that doesn’t always work out if they have to travel.

For my bachelorette party, we headed to Milwaukee which is about 1.5 hours from where most of the girls lived. My MOH planned a two night bachelorette trip and it was perfect! The ladies who didn’t want to stay the night (one or both nights) met us for the daytime activities on Saturday and then just drove home the same time. Those who wanted to stay a few nights or just one night were happy to do so! This is for you to enjoy so don’t let anyone steal your joy!!

Well said! SO many things about weddings now are not “how they used to be”. They are constantly changing and evolving with time and to reflect current society/trends. The biggest trend nowadays with weddings (and wedding related events) is that pretty much anything goes and it’s all about creating what the couple envisions (while being considerate to guests, of course). I don’t see anything wrong with planning or co-planning your own bachelorette; especially since this is not a gift giving event. As long as everyone is understanding if someone does not wish to/is not able to/cannot afford etc. to go, then bachelorette trips are perfectly acceptable

Hey, I think they are much more normal now. I think it depends on where your bridesmaids are coming from too. My close friends are all spread out, so there's not option other than a trip to get everyone together. That's similar for many of my friends, so all of the Bachelorette's I've been to have been trips. If all of your group is local than it might be different. Though since trips can be expensive I'm making it clear that I would love for people to come, but totally understand if they are not able to make it due to time/money. I'm east coast and three of my close college friends are West, so I know they already have to travel for the wedding, adding that and a bachelorette could be a lot.

Hey, I think they are much more normal now. I think it depends on where your bridesmaids are coming from too. My close friends are all spread out, so there's not option other than a trip to get everyone together. That's similar for many of my friends, so all of the Bachelorette's I've been to have been trips. If all of your group is local than it might be different. Though since trips can be expensive I'm making it clear that I would love for people to come, but totally understand if they are not able to make it due to time/money. I'm east coast and three of my close college friends are West, so I know they already have to travel for the wedding, adding that and a bachelorette could be a lot.

I’m having a Bach trip and destination wedding. I gave my friends the options to go to either. I think it’s the choice of the bride and if her friends are on with that.

I think they are normal but not everyone has them. i did not out of money and time and convenience to my bridal party. instead i just had a day where we hung out.

My experience is not the norm as far as i know but my fiance and i had a duel party as we share friends and it was a complete surprise for us except for a date range to take off work.
We had 12 people total (and we didnt have 100% turnout, our group is 14 total) and they rented an air bnb for 4 days and took us to a different state with many planned activities (1-3 per day), some joint some separate.
Of course it all depends on your circle but we have known each other between 6 years at shortest and whole lives at longest. They all split the cost of the stay, covered their own activities for the most part (except pizza nights at the bnb which the best man and maid of honor each paid for once) and each chose the activity that they were comfortable covering for the bride or groom based on budget. Some simply covered the bride and grooms starbucks order for the day and others had it in their budget to cover full spa packages.
What im getting at i guess is if your party feels comfortable or even happy to treat you and/or spend time with you on such a wonderful occassion and trip, go for it. Some parties do it even if the bride doesnt expect or even know about it. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for enjoying a trip, its not much different than taking any other weekend getaway with your friends.