Are bridal showers overrated? Are jack and Jill’s “tacky”?

Congratulations 🎈🎊🍾🎉 on your engagement. You don’t have to have a shower. Do whatever makes you and your fiancé comfortable.

Jack and Jill parties do seem kind of....ridiculous to me. I would say if you're offered a shower, do a more themed one (I've seen cute recipe showers where instead of gifts everyone brings a recipe).
You can still do that as a joint party with men invited. I just wouldn't charge or fundraise at them....

View Quoted Comment I completely agree. I don’t understand the Jack/Jill thing. It seems outrageous to me.

What is a Jack and Jill party? I've never heard of it.

I've never heard of a jack and jill party before this page. If I was invited to a party for someone's wedding and they wanted me to pay to go? I would literally never go and probably question why I am friends with them. My fiance have lived together for four years, and we own a home together. We have a small registry, filled with upgraded items for our home. Any duplicates we have, we will throw away or give away the cheaper one.

I don't know that I would say Jack and Jills are becoming more popular. If anything, I think they're being phased out. The idea is pretty ridiculous to me. To charge your friends and family to hang out with you, then ask them to pay for raffle items in order to pay for your wedding. Very odd.

You could register for different items if someone offers to host a shower for you. Movies, board games, camping gear. You could request that they do a recipe shower instead where each guest brings a copy of their favorite recipe. You could request a bridal tea with no gifts. Or just let them know that you appreciate their offer, but you don't need any physical gifts. There are lots of ways around this that seem less rude than asking your friends and family for money.

It sounds like what you want is an engagement party.

Jack and Jills are rude. Guests should never have to open their wallets for any event you ever invite them too, wedding world or normal life. The exception is for a charity fundraiser. A wedding isn't a charity.

If someone offers to host a shower for you, you can absolutely accept. I'd let the host know that you already have a household full of the necessities. You can register for things like games, camping gear, gardening supplies, other hobby things you would use together. The host could have a theme shower like a recipe, lingerie, stock the bar (personal bar not for the wedding), etc. Another option is to ask if they would be willing to host a bridal tea instead of a shower, since a tea isn't a gift giving event.

View Quoted Comment We’ve been engaged over a year...would that be weird?

Hi Christina! Welcome to WeddingWire and congrats on your engagement!

I agree, an engagement party/shower is totally up to you and not mandatory or required. Doing whatever you are most comfortable with is key.

There's really no rules with whether you're a couple starting your lives together for the first time or not. If you've been living together already, you can register for "upgrades" on items you or other things you might need. I have included a helpful article below with a few of these items.

If you don't have anything on this household wish list in-mind, your guests will know to bring cash/checks as gifts instead -or- you can say "no gifts".

10 Must-Have Registry Items If You Already Live Together

What the hell is a Jack and Jill party and what are they paying for? I have heard of guy/girl showers but not paying to be there? They just bring a registry gift like any other bridal shower and they are geared towards both genders, not so girly.

So there really aren't any kitchen appliances, vacuums, new comforter sets, updates that you need? If not, do not have a registry and a shower is unnecessary overall. You can't have a shower without a registry. Idk what the Jack and Jill is but this sounds like other posters think it's a no-no.

View Quoted Comment A Jack and Jill is a fundraiser for the wedding. Generally, the wedding party is expected to provide items to be raffled. Tickets to attend are sold to anyone, wedding invitee or not. Add in a cash bar, with a mark up given to the couple, and it's pretty much a train wreck of ultimate rudeness.

View Quoted Comment

Just ew. Lol sounds terrible and yes rude. Thanks for letting me know!

Bridal showers are fun if you do it right. H and I lived together for a few years and still needed things. Have a couples shower if you are more comfortable. DO NOT DO A JACK AND JILL. it is super tacky.