Are there any people that surprised you while you were planning your wedding? (good & Bad)

I LOVE this. This is so true, I found out who was there n who wasnt. My one bridesmaid dropped out because we went over her house pre covid & her dog was jumping on my FH and I so we had a hard time taking off our shoes, so she took offense n told me not to come back to her home if I cant treat her dog like family (all I did was have my FH keep his arm out so the dog would stop jumping on me and he was annoyed too) so I kicked her out my wedding party for her nasty text and her attitude. My husbands parents didnt come to our wedding 5/16/20due to COVID19 but decided to still move to another state, remodel their home, shop to decorate it etc. One good thing was my parents were there n very supportive.

You definitely do get to see better from this who is there for you and who isn’t

I think for me the biggest surprise came when my three bosses RSVPd "yes" to my wedding. I invited out of courtesy and because they've been my work family for more than a decade and have been through my ups / downs both personally and professionally. But I also knew our wedding was at an odd time for our company and even more so because of Covid. Yesterday I heard the "guys" (yes, all three of my bosses are men) talking with each other about what they were going to wear. This tickled me to death.

For the most part everyone that we've "needed" has been there so no disappointments there. My FH's one brother (of 3) won't be able to make it to our wedding because of surgery and not having the ability to fly due to possible blood clots so soon after surgery. That could be our only real disappointment. But through no fault of his own.

I think the people who surprised me most were my vendors. All but one of them were so amazing and understanding and sympathetic and gracious during this crazy situation. With the exception of my cake lady, all of them immediately rescheduled, charged me no fees, and all of them have allowed me to make changes to the original services/contracts without any issues. I’ve seen so many brides on here telling horror stories about their vendors, so I feel incredibly lucky to have mine. My fiancé has surprise me a lot as well- he has been so supportive of all my ideas, and has not complained once about the cost of anything!! We are planning a destination wedding, which typically means a much higher decline rate, which I was completely prepared for. You cannot imagine my surprise when literally all of my family and friends have expressed intent on attending! (to be honest, this is both a good and bad surprise, because I did not anticipate that sort of reaction, and did not plan to invite everybody, so we booked a smaller venue!) Finally, the last person to surprise me was.... me!! I have always said I would never get married, so the fact I am even planning a wedding is insane! From day one of getting engaged, I said I would be a low-key bride, and didn’t wanted any of the typical things - no cake, no flowers, minimal decor, no veil.... just a simple ceremony followed by a simple dinner at a nice restaurant. Ha! I have done a complete 180 on all of that!

This is very true. Your real friends are those who make your celebrations a priority.

So glad you have some compassionate people in your corner.

My brother. He told my mom that going to our minimony would be dangerous and she would die, but he still elected to go back to school. 🙄 They literally dropped him off on their way to meet us for the minimony. Not even a card. I'm more hurt about that then I thought but struggled to find some sort of grace in accepting he wasn't comfortable.


Also my mom is ride or die, but I already knew that. She insisted on coming and I probably wouldn't have done well without her there.

To be fair, you don't know the particulars of why your bridesmaid rescheduled her family vacation to coincide with your wedding. I'm sure her schedule wasn't the only one that had to be taken into consideration.

I'm a February 2021 bride, too! As far as surprises...my FMiL surprised me with a girls day to go look at dresses with her and my soon to be SiL and niece. My mother passed when I was 4 and this is my 2nd wedding, I've ordered dresses online for both, but it was really nice she wanted to go with me and look at dresses

I got another positive surprise out of a negative situation: my father didn't come to my 1st wedding and to say our relationship is strained is putting it mildly. Still, I try to include him in the important events in my daughters lives and my life. He just doesn't usually show up. With that in mind, and with FH wanting to have a mother son dance, I went ahead with planning a father daughter dance, knowing it will probably end up being FH and our daughters. Anyway, my first husband passed away almost 5 years ago and I'm very close to his family. His parents and oldest sister are planning to attend my wedding and both my former FiL and my future FiL have offered to dance with me, should my father not show. It was very touching.

A couple of vendors have pleasantly surprised me with their willingness to help with alternative plans with trying to arrange around Covid, but one dropped me altogether. I was lucky enough to find a replacement, though.

I don't know if I was surprised, per se, but more ... disappointed? I was very happy when my mother declined to come, but I had hoped my cousins wouldn't listen to her hissy fit, and attend the wedding. Nope, most of them listened to her hissy fit, and word on the street is that people are still joining said fit over a year later. (...Over invitation wording. It's a hissy fit.)

I *was* surprised to find out (after the fact), that MIL got pissed at SIL over SIL's behavior. (SIL managed to tick off the ENTIRE BP. Which is impressive. Many of them are very chill. She still hasn't apologized, but her behavior has greatly improved.)

On the funnier notes, I had told those wearing dresses on my side, that I just wanted a particular color, and if we could all agree on a fabric/length, that'd be beyond amazing, but I didn't care about style.

We went shopping together. I reiterated this sentiment *stridently*.

....They all chose the same dress. DELIBERATELY. (And then laughed at my confusion, in the sweet way.)

And then, to end on a high note: a friend was getting married a month later, but lived cross-country. Didn't invite her on the above grounds, as well as her not knowing anyone else. She and I did have a long text chain about wedding planning, though, and as a dear, sweet wedding gift, she PAINTED A CUSTOM SIGN for our welcome/sweetheart tables.
I'm not kidding, I cried when I opened it up... and then went to work and my coworkers had bought a cake for me. This was like 5 days before the wedding and I about lost it.

My parents were surprisingly reasonable throughout the whole original planning process and most of the covid planning process. (Fingers crossed that remains true for the rest of this odyssey.)

My husband has a couple of relatives who seem not to be speaking to us because they are upset that they weren't invited to our miniwedding even though it was literally only immediate family and they are not the siblings, parents, or grandparents, of either of us.

Despite the fact that we postponed the part of the wedding that people are actually invited to, we got several gifts with nice cards just before our actual wedding. I also got, not only a gift, but, a separately mailed card and advice card (like the ones everyone else filled out and brought with them) from a friend who couldn't be at my shower. I felt like it was really thoughtful of people to send things to us even though they weren't going to be with us in person any time soon.