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September 2020

Are you involving you kids/step kids in your ceremony?

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Kayla, on September 11, 2018 at 10:53 PM

*Warning this will be long*

hi everyone, so those of you with kids or future step kids how or are you including them in the ceremony? My FW have been together for a little over two years. We have a 5 year old son. He is a “family baby”. Biologically he is my FW’s great nephew but she has had him since he was about 6 months old. I met him a month or so after he turned two. We began our relationship as best friends and landed here! As soon as we began dating we basically lived together even though we had separate apartments. So at that point she went from single parent to two parent home. We have been raising him together since 2016 when we started dating. He doesn’t know life without me at this point and I call Him my inherited child not step child. He is my son regardless of how I became his mother. So here’s the thing. My FW felt like oh he should a ring or he should have all this extended or extr moments in the ceremony but I dont really agree. Im not marrying him he is already mine. I do Everything for school as much as she does and I feel Like hose things are for step children. We will be doing unity sand all three of us will have a color to involve him in that way but I feel Like that’s enough. This isn’t about him. His family or life isn’t changing besides the last names of his moms. Am I wrong? The ceremony is about us becoming one as a couple which will allow us to lead our strong family . Idk maybe I’m crazy.. but thoughts?!

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30 Comments

Dedicated January 2018
Ashley · on September 12, 2018 at 8:31 AM
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H has a son from his previous marriage, who was 7 when we got married (8 now). H and I have been together since 2013, and his son has lived with him since shortly before I came into the picture (he was three at the time). He quite literally cannot remember a time that we weren't together as a family. Although we are already a family in our eyes, we wanted something special to involve him in the wedding that didn't involve 'vows' so he stood up as H's "best man". He did a reading of "The Velveteen Rabbit" for us- our guests cried, H cried, I cried... it was amazing.
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September 2020
Kayla · on September 12, 2018 at 8:37 AM
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You’re very welcome! Glad I could help! I hope Things get easier for you with all your all your kids! Congratulations And Many Blessings to you!
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September 2020
Kayla · on September 12, 2018 at 8:48 AM
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Lol. Wow a huge family! We agree now. We talked it all out. We are excited to include him in that way and we will always have the same to remind us of our family!
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Master September 2018
Jennifer · on September 12, 2018 at 8:49 AM
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My son is 17 years old he is walking me down the aisle and then standing directly next to FH (his soon to be step father) in line with the groomsmen. We both felt it was important for him to have a role in both sides of our party, since he is the most important person in our lives.
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September 2020
Kayla · on September 12, 2018 at 8:50 AM
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Yes that very understandable. I sounds like you will have a beautiful day!
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September 2020
Kayla · on September 12, 2018 at 8:53 AM
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Now that is super adorable!!! I’m sure I would have cried my face off!! Lol
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September 2020
Kayla · on September 12, 2018 at 8:54 AM
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That is a great way to incorporate your son. I love that!
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Dedicated September 2019
Cherall · on September 12, 2018 at 8:57 AM
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My FH has 2 kids from a previous marriage and I have one from a previous relationship. While we all get along great his kids are 15 and 16 and they have a mom and aren't the types to want to be in the wedding. My son is 7 and has been raise by a single mom his entire life and has really formed a bond with my FH and kids. As to not exclude anyone we decided together that none of our kids would be in the wedding. We each have a made of honor and a best man and that's it. At the reception I am doing a dance with my son as we have such a special relationship and about a minute in the DJ will announce for all parents to join us with their children on the dance floor.
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Super October 2018
FutureMrs.Jacobs · on September 23, 2018 at 10:13 PM
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I have 2 children and we have 1 together. They will be apart of the ceremony. We are pouring sand so each person will have a different color to pour together in the hourglass.
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Devoted December 2018
LoweryForLife · on October 1, 2018 at 11:46 AM
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I think it definitely depends on the situation. Like, if you were marrying her and just NOW taking in her child, then yeah maybe involve them (although I think the sand is enough), because its like you're finally joining a family. Butttt you've already done that ya know? The ceremony is about you two becoming one. If that makes sense.
I have a future step son that can't even make it to our wedding because he lives 10 hours away with his bio mom and is in school. That's fair. He's five and most likely won't remember it. Plus its not kid-friendly anyway. It wouldn't be much of a visit for him.
I say do what you feel is best for your situation I think the unity sand is a nice touch. Its honestly going beyond most that I've seen. I personally feel like the ceremony is about the two of you, not the three of you, for your situation. Like, I had a cousin that had a kid with a girl wayyyy before they got married. Then when they got married, the daughter was just a flower girl. Cause that made sense. They weren't joining a family. They had always been one
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