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Savvy November 2021

Are you losing your middle name? Keeping your maiden? Not changing your name at all?

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Amanda, on September 1, 2021 at 12:11 AM

Per Filipino 'tradition,' my mother made my middle name her maiden name, then gave me my father's last name. After doing all this marriage license crap, I realized I'm gonna have to 'pick a name' and I'm finding it difficult to drop my middle name and/or my last name because they're both pieces of the people who brought me into this world.. but I also don't want to have a long, ass freakin' name by keeping it all and adding my fiance's last name.

I can either lose my original middle name and make my father's last name my new middle name, then take my fiance's new name, I can keep my original middle name, lose my father's last name, and take my fiance's last name.. or I can just keep my name the way it is an add my fiancés last name to the very end of it. Maybe I should just lose my maiden and original last name all together? Ultimately, I'm taking my fiance's name regardless. Just not sure what to do about my middle name and maiden names.

What do you guys plan to do or what did you do as far as name changing went?

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25 Comments

Devoted September 2021
ArizonaDreaming · on September 2, 2021 at 6:06 PM
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When I got married previously, I took my ex husband's name. I hated my last name and due to trauma, gladly erased it from my life.
We had a son and I became very, very close to my ex in-laws. So much so that even after our divorce, I was there when my ex MIL passed away and I named my daughter after her. She was my very best friend and everything to me. I am still very close to my ex FIL. I kept my name after the divorce for 2 reasons: I wanted to stay connected to my in-laws afterwards and my son is autistic. He knows my legal name as just that. So I made the choice to keep it after I get remarried in a few weeks. I want to make it easier on him in case something happens and he has to give his mom's name to anyone (i.e. gets lost, accident happens, school event, etc.). It also fits since all 3 of my children have 2 middle names. It is sort of a tradition and I am going to be apart of it after we get married. My FH is very supportive of this choice as he knows how close I was and am to my ex in-laws.
Current name: FirstName MiddleName Exinlawlastname
New name: FirstName MiddleName ExinlawMiddlename NewLastName
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on September 2, 2021 at 10:08 PM
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I’m keeping my middle name because that is what several people know me as. I have no emotional attachment to my maiden name so I will be dropping that and taking fiancé’s last name.
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Donnaly · on September 2, 2021 at 11:42 PM
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I kept mine because I didn't want to change it. It's important to me. DH didn't want to change his, so he kept it. The biggest problem it has presented has been that people address me incorrectly even when they know I've kept my name.
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Savvy April 2022
Kaitlyn · on September 3, 2021 at 1:49 AM
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I took his last name, but I don't have a good relationship with my father and my new last name is so much easier to say! Growing up I got so annoyed with everyone mispronouncing my last name and event just accepted it as fact but not having to spell it anymore is so nice!
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on September 3, 2021 at 4:02 PM
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I am Filipino as well and just wrote out my SS application yesterday. I was sad to see my Mother's maiden name which is my middle name leave. My old last name is now my middle name, and I will be taking my husband's last name. My sister likened that format to "Hillary Rodham Clinton"-- her maiden name is part of her identity. For my husband and I, changing my name was part of our "big negotiation". At work, I introduce myself fully (first/ middle/ last name) because it's new as of 3 weeks ago. I still sign all my names. I subsequently prefer "Ms." over "Mrs." because I don't need that designation with strangers. Maybe I'll finally acquiesce into the 3-letter last name, but it's a process.
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