Are you the first one of your friends to get married?

I'm not one of the first of my friends to get married but I'm not one of the last. FH is the first of his friends to get married. Maybe because we're older but our friendships haven't changed at all. Nobody is going to the clubs at our age regardless of relationship status. We're all about the game and movie nights and we still get invited to, and host those. We've also been a couple for 5 years now so it's not as if there's going to be a huge change to us being married. Fh's friends haven't pulled back from him or suddenly treated him like he's different or changed. Again, maybe this is an age thing. We're all in our mid thirties to early forties.

I don't think this affects us as much as it would have 50 years ago. Many of DH's friends aren't married, but they have live-in partners of 8-10 years so it's like they're married anyway. His group has shifted into more "adult" gatherings like dinner parties that end at a reasonable time. I do sometimes feel left out with my friends, but it's not because I'm married necessarily. They tend to bond over complaining about things their SOs do, and know that I can't relate. That's more about DH's personality though than the fact that we're married now. ETA: I think having kids will change our relationships with friends more. We'll definitely be the first (by far) to have a baby.

Many of my FH's friends and family are dating, married or in a relationship. Unfortunately for me, I'm the first among my family and friends. I don't want to be LOL. Everyone in my family is super excited and constantly talking and asking about it, but some of my friends hardly talk to me at all or invite me out anymore. I wish there was a happy medium haha.

@Sarah they sound awful! I remember some of your posts a while back about them. Glad you're in a better place.

@K^2 it could totally be an age thing. I'm 26 and he's 29 (our bdays are coming up though) and we don't have issues with not getting invited to things. That may be a lower twenties thing? I remember going through that when I was single. Seeing my friends post their late nights on social media and brushing me off. It bothered me at the time but I just found new friends. FH is the first of his friends but he just has two close friends so the stats are probably insignificant. He's had no issues with them. They're really nice and happy for him. He's been struggling with rude coworkers saying he's guaranteed to hate me in the future because marriage is the worst and they regret it. Whereas that's now in my past now that I'm back in grad school.

I'm by far the first of my friends to be married. Most of them are not in relationships at the moment! Luckily, I grew up with a group of friends that are vey career focused and driven and we're only in our early 20s but so far they seem genuinely happy and really excited for me to be the guinea pig! If you're getting a feeling that they're not the same just make sure it's really that (vs no one caring about your wedding as much as you!) before talking to them about it. Cheers!

FH and I are both the first in our respective friend groups to get married. It's not as hard for him because he still plays video games with his friends frequently. It's harder for me because I can't relate to my friends as much and they've been distancing themselves from me so I get it.

I don't have any friends of my immediate circle that are married, neither of us do really. I have noticed some of this as well. But I also have a few friends of ours that may not be married but have kids currently so that is a different dynamic in itself. I've learned to appreciate the "I'm going to come to you for relationship advice" dynamic because at least they feel comfortable enough to confide in me and if I need to for whatever reason I feel comfortable to do the same. But everything will settle in due time.

I have two married friends and it seems they have the most interest in what's going on in my life. my other friend that's one of my bridesmaids assumed I was unavailable after I got engaged like she thought I was a different person. we don't talk like we used to and she has even said that me and my FH never fight etc like we are perfect..it sucks but it's just growing apart I guess :/ we have different lifestyles at this point and she is really instilling that into our friendship.

I was so close to being the first of my friends to get married. Luckily, one of my best friends is getting married in April. I do not know how I would get through this process without her (we are reciprocal bridesmaids and at least once a week are on the phone to vent/celebrate/etc). We also thoroughly enjoy hanging out as couples together.

However, my friends who are single and I usually hang out one on one anyway. That is how I have always preferred it. We get dinner, happy hour, go shopping, go to the movies, etc.

I have also found that I can now relate to a much broader range of people. I now regularly hang out with friends who have children, are married, etc.

I agree with @Kaley about the siblings thing, especially because I am the younger sister. My older sister is super supportive but I think she feels left out, especially now that family events are often my mom, my dad, FH, myself, and her.

I have only one friend that is married, but our friends/people from FH's childhood all had kids first and are starting to get engaged now. So even though we're first in the friends group, the others have had to grow up when they had babies and we didn't really notice a change.

I'm the first of my friends to get married, but I also moved far away when I got engaged so most of my contact with them has been via text. I probably changed the dynamic more than they did because I've definitely been less available with the craziness of wedding planning.

That being said, I totally understand where you're coming from about not having people to talk to about the ups and downs. I feel like I shouldn't complain because FH and I do have a good relationship, but it is isolating when you feel like you don't have a right to vent.

We were the first to get married among our circle of friends, but no, things haven't changed at all. Perhaps it is because our mutual friends are some of our closest friends? That and recently, our friends have been getting engaged themselves and have been starting their wedding planning process. It's just like old times, except that we have full-time jobs now lol.

Right now all our friends are either engaged/married or totally single. There's a cluster of us all getting married within a year or so, from this July to next October.

I haven't noticed any change in my relationship with my single friends. However, my relationship with my friend that got married in July has strengthened because of our shared experience wedding planning.

We're among the last of friends to get married. I think it depends on your group, for us our friends getting married didn't really change our relationships much. A few became more "homebodies", but the group of friends who always went out the most were the oldest and all married (or nearly married...except me). Kids, however, changed things.

I am the last of my friends to get married and I am the oldest of our group, 34. FH is the second to last of his friends and we are in the opposite boat, we still go out all the time! We love to travel and have short weekend trips, wineries, jazz bars, happy hour tours and we rarely get our friends off the couch!

I had a group of friends where I was the last. They all just disappeared despite my many attempts. Now, I'm one of the first of my career girl friends.

I'm one of the last as well, and I definitely noticed a change when my friends started getting married. I also noticed a change in myself when I started dating my FH - you just have less free time!

Friendships will continue to evolve as you grow. Just make sure your friends are still considering your needs as well - just because your problems are different doesn't mean they're not important. If they're good friends they'll listen even if they don't completely understand.

In our wedding party my future BIL and SIL are obviously married. One of my bridesmaids just got married last month. Aside from that, most of my friends are no where close to getting engaged. One friend of mine complained that every time she comes to the house, FH is there. Well, we are engaged and own a house together so I didn't know what to tell her. He was never hanging out with us when we met up, aside from getting lunch and then we did girl time.

Things change and not everyone's lives are on the same page. I definitely see this with my friends.

FH is 37, his group is all single and honestly I don't know if any of them will ever be married. One old friend of his is married, but her H works weird hours so she spends most of her time with her friends. We want to have kids right away so it'll be interesting to see how the dynamic shifts. I don't see some of them interested in coming to kids birthdays and stuff.

I have an amazing group of friends who are super supportive and excited for my wedding, so I have no shifting dynamics there. I am the first to get married in our group of friends which is so nerve-wracking! FH is not the first to get married in his group of friends (he will be the third), but he has wanted to settle down for the longest time. He is a medical student, and most of his classmates were husbands and dads, and I think that encouraged his desire to settle down. While I was dating my FH (we have been dating for several years), though, I definitely grew apart from a couple of people who were single. My worry is when I decide to have children- I feel like that will shift dynamics more than marriage will.