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Just Said Yes December 2019

Aren't Bridesmaids Supposed to Help the Bride?

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Tonja, on September 30, 2019 at 7:13 PM

Posted in Planning 21

I decided to have a nerd themed wedding (Star Wars) and lots of bridesmaids. I thought this would be a great idea. I'm quickly regretting my decision. I will be married in 3 months and my bridesmaids haven't done one thing! I only have 3 that have ordered their dress out of 10. My sister is my Matron of Honor and won't even discuss wedding stuff with me. All she says is "Just tell me what to do that day and I'll do it. It's your day so whatever you want." I want some feedback and support. I went to someone else's bridal shower yesterday and got so depressed. I feel like my bridesmaids aren't even going to be happy at my wedding. Has anyone else ever had this problem? Is it just being stressed for the wedding planning or am I validated in these feelings? I haven't had one person to go shopping with me or try to do anything wedding related. I feel like I'm making a huge mistake having a wedding. Any feedback is appreciated.

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21 Comments

Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on August 17, 2021 at 2:04 PM
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Everyone has their own idea of what a bridesmaid’s responsibility. You need to make it perfectly clear what you expect before you ask them so they can bow out if they feel they can’t meet those expectations. Some brides have a huge list of things they expect that are not always attainable and others just want the bridesmaids to show up on time, support her at the ceremony and have fun at the reception.

As far as planning, it’s something the bride and groom do together. The bride isn’t marrying her bridesmaids so unless it is something specific that affects them, they don’t need to be involved. .
Based on posts I have read, the problem with “bad”bridesmaids comes with asking the wrong people way too early. Only pick your closest inner circle who fully support you. Not in laws, not school friends, etc. If you feel obligated in any way, immediately scratch them off the list because obligation should never be a factor in wedding planning.
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