As a bride, do i have to take wedding pics with groom's family? Does my family have to do joint photos with groom's family?

If this is the case, elope or have a super small guest count of those you both agree on that get along and support you. Then maintain boundaries, even if that means agreeing to go no contact with both families. Cut out the toxicity at the source or you will be struggling with this for years to come

You do not have to take ANY group family pics if you dont want to.

This just sounds so tense. Are the issues between the families so severe that they aren't able to put on a smile for the sake of you and your fiancés wedding day? If so, I just can't imagine wanting any part of bringing everyone together on what's supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I hate that for you and FH!!

To answer your actual question, if you aren't comfortable taking photos all together, I think that's more than okay! I would just fill your photographer in beforehand so she/he doesn't unknowingly try to put you all together for photos and cause more tension!

It would cause more drama if we eloped for the reasons I stated. A big part of the reason my family decided to pay for the whole wedding is so his family couldn't step in with money and try to hold certain things over our head or demand things from us.

Is it not going to cause drama to only take photos with one family? Also if things are this bad, why does FH's family even want to attend? Just trying to understand so we can give better advice. I too come from a dramatic family so I know how you feel

Not trying to be mean but unfortunately, it sounds like you sharing with your family that you don't get along with your in-laws has caused a lot of these issues. That being said there is nothing that can be done now because they already don't get along so I can understand not making the two families take joint photos together. However, I think it is going to cause more problems if you refuse to be in photos with his family. I personally don't get along with my father-in-law to the point that he flipped me off at our wedding, but I still was in photos with him because I didn't want to cause any issues.

"As a bride, do i have to take wedding pics with groom's family?";"Does my family have to do joint photos with groom's family?": No and no since your fiance is fine with this!

"I have decided that there will no speeches at the wedding. I don't want to give anyone, especially my fiance's family a chance to make cruel remarks.His family will sit on one side of the church, mine on the other. There will be no mixed seating at the reception, either, which is best": I'm with you!

What makes a marriage valid ?

1- You need to obtain a marriage license from your county clerk and pay a fee.

2- The officiant has the duty of filing your marriage certificate with the applicable recording agency in your county.

3- Some states require 1-2 witness(es), some states require both parties to be 18 years old or older to enter marriage. Some states allow minors above a certain age to get married with parental and/or judicial consent. That's it! Everything else is OPTIONAL!!

Re the families not getting along, my family witnessed an inicident between my fiance's family and myself that is one of the main reasons the families don't get along.

I have a feeling that his family will say something or make mean faces in the photos, so that is a big reason I don't want the joint photos.

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I know you've said you aren't willing to elope, but I feel like I would be worried about my wedding be ruined by immaturity and hostility if you think they may make mean faces in your wedding photos. Could your fiancé talk with his family? Even if just to say that you guys won't allow them there if they aren't going to leave their problems at the door.

I think an easy way to navigate the photo situation would be for you to take photos with your family and him to take photos with his family prior to the ceremony. (We are actually doing this in order to save time and get a lot of photos out of the way so we don’t have to take so long during cocktail hour) Then, after your ceremony, all your guests can just proceed to cocktail hour while you and your fiancé take photos together. That would eliminate any awkward situations for you, your families, or your photographer.

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I like this idea. And whatever approach you take to photos, your fiancé needs to let his family know in advance - then if they want to create about it they can do it before the wedding rather than on the day.

I also think you both need to talk to your families (you to yours, he to his) and make it clear you expect them to ‘play nicely’.

That sounds like such a difficult situation. As far the pictures, Ava and Liz have good advice. I guess as long as your fiancé is on board, then it doesn't matter what any individual family member thinks about the lack of group photos.

It's really, really difficult to picture an enjoyable wedding where the two halves of the guest list remain completely separate and antagonistic through ceremony, dinner, dancing, and everything else. I would revisit eloping. You say that would cause more drama, but at this point, how could that possibly be worse than a sad, tense, cold wedding day??

It sounds like you are filming a play of two families disliking each other, at a wedding ceremony. Please do stop. This is not right, as you describe it. There is no reason to have a wedding that is so unhappy and unloving and untrusting. You are wasting your money on a parody of a wedding. So you will have heartburn enough to provide unhappy faces, that you will never look at?
Call it off. Marry another time, or strictly with friends, or the 2 of you with officiates, not like this.

If families are truly so unable to be civil towards one another, you may want to reconsider this reception. Would you be willing to do a private ceremony/elope and have two separate celebrations? If you dislike your husband’s family so much that you will not even take a photo with them, why are they invited? If everyone is truly this spiteful towards one another, I cannot imagine this being a joyous event. This might be something you and FH need to sort out sooner than later, especially if there is a possibility of future children.

View Quoted Comment How would they step in with money- without your consenting to it? So, they dislike and distrust each other, and one side does not trust you either? And these are the good ones?

View Quoted Comment This conflict includes your parents paying so they cant?


I really think it's a problem that you won't take photos with them or dance with them, not just your family. That indicates to me that they shouldnt be invited.
I read your reasons and don't understand how that could cause more drama then families brawling on the dance floor

This sounds super tense. Will your FH be taking photos with your family? I can understand not combining the families for a big "joint" family photo, but I think if you refuse to be in a photo with his family but he is going to be in a photo with yours, that is problematic and has the potential to backfire in a big way, possibly during your wedding photos right in the middle of your event.

Not getting along is one thing. Families don't need to intermingle but can still be civil towards one another. I fear some of the choices being made will further drive a wedge between you and your FILs, which is incredibly unfair to your FH. Perhaps eloping is really best in this case.

Well, in order:

I am with the people who suggest eloping. I know you've said you think that will cause more drama, but honestly, it can't cause any more drama than having to walk on eggshells your entire wedding trying to keep everyone separate and coach your vendors on how to deal with them. The drama is already there. No one can stop you or do anything to you once you're married. It isn't like they can inflict bodily harm or force you to get divorced. Let them be mad.

If you really, truly must go through with this ticking atomic bomb of a wedding, you don't have to take group photos at all. Group photos are rarely looked at after the big day, and they take time away from the pretty photos of the two of you. But if you want photos with your family and he wants them with his, have them done before the ceremony separately. Do not have him in the group photos with your family if you go this route.

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Delete please.