Ask a Venue to Ask Another Couple to Trade Dates?

I highly doubt they would do that, and honestly if I was the other couple I would say no because I'm sure they picked the date for a specific reason. Why can't you just pick a different date or different venue? I think asking another couple to switch is a bit much lol.

View Quoted Comment Well then there will have to be a compromise. Is it important for the certificate to have the date on it or the actual event on that date? If it's for the official date you could marry on the date then have the ceremony and reception on the other available date. Otherwise, then maybe 11-20-21?

Are you comfortable marrying someone who is this superstitious? Personally, I would find this difficult. If you decide to have kids, there is no way to determine what day they will be born on. The fate of y'all's marriage is in your hands, not something predetermined, imo. Whatever date you choose will be beautiful and special - but he has to believe that too. Is he open to growing past this?

That said, maybe 11/20/21, as 11 and 20 add to 21?

You can totally ask them, but I honestly don’t know which professional venue will ask another couple to do that. It’s an honor system first come first serve type of deal. Also keep in mind most venues are really short on 2021 dates because of Covid. Consider yourself lucky to at least found the venue of your dreams in the month you sorta desired.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Chrysta this is a great idea if you want your marriage and anniversary date to be a certain date. Then you can go ahead and book the big reception a couple weeks after that. IMO that’s the best compromise. I would not want to push out my marriage to accommodate a specific date unless it had very significant meaning. It sounds like the actual date doesn’t matter as much as much as the numbers in the date.
So my date is also October 23 and Was not my first choice so here’s a story.
I am also a big numbers person (I’m an engineer) my favorite number is 4. FH and I started officially dating on October 4 a few years ago and talked a lot about getting married on that date in 2020. Well it’s a leap year so it was Friday last year and is Sunday this year. I was crushed it skipped Saturday! We briefly discussed a Sunday brunch wedding (I would LOVE this) but I met him when I moved across the country so more than half the guest list will need to travel to my home state to attend and we felt Saturday would be best for guests attending (compromise 1). So then when we finally got engaged Dec 2019 I went to start looking at venues and knew I absolutely wanted October and an even date (one of my number things). Well October was already completely booked for 2020 at all the venues I looked at. And this was pre covid no postponements happened yet October and June are just the most popular wedding months. So I looked at 2021 at the venue I loved Thinking I would have my pick of dates so far out and October 16 was a Saturday and available and 4^2=16! So I was excited. Well I wanted to see it in person before signing booked a flight out and within the two weeks that took the date got booked... (compromise 2) the only October 2021 Saturdays left were 23 and 30. 30 was not an option since FH birthday is Halloween and didn’t want anniversary to be back to back or on Halloween weekend. So that left October 23. I was so upset it was odd. And I know that’s insane lol. But then my best friend knowing numbers is a thing for me made it work. She texted me and said 10+23+21=54 and 54/2 is 27 which is the age FH was when we first met and the age I was when we got engaged. It sounds SO silly but I cried at how thoughtful she was. Moral of the story is that you can make any number work for you and your superstitions if you want it bad enough!! Also October 23, 2021 will be a great day for a wedding if I do say so myself☺️

I don’t thinks is appropriate to ask, as you said things are booking quickly so they likely have other vendors but even if they don’t, they put down a deposit and that is their date. I would look into other venues because waiting a full extra year seems like a long time to delay.

I gotta say I’d be pretty unhappy with FH if he felt a date was more important than the actual marriage and would be willing to push it out another year just to have the “perfect” date. Which by the way won’t be “perfect” on all subsequent anniversaries to follow.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh Katie, you sound exactly like my fiance! He is also an engineer and it's all about being an even date ( among other things). I'm also the only member of my family that lived in this area and almost all of his has since moved to another state. So doing anything other than a Saturday wedding just isn't going to work for us either. It's so funny how your situation sounds exactly like ours. I really appreciate your insight into this. I've been trying to figure out how to make the dates work for us and mean something to us but haven't been able to figure it out. But I will definitely keep trying . As I'm typing this I just realized I was 27 when we got engaged too! and he was 27 when we met! Thank you so much for your help on this honestly I could never have expected a better outcome and response and I so appreciate you posting

View Quoted Comment You’re welcome! That is too funny! I know to many people the date doesn’t matter and numbers are numbers but I get it!! I can’t explain it but I understand it 😂 And feel free to use the 27 justification for October 23 if you decide to keep that date! At the end of the day whatever date you choose will become special and meaningful. You and my FH are both wonderful people for putting up with us number geeks lol!


I should also note that we set our date and booked our venue pre covid and since then my grandma’s health as declined rapidly so we decided to have a small minimony on October 4 this year just family due to all the covid health uncertainty just to be on the safe side. And we’ll still have our big reception (hopefully) on October 23rd next year. So I get to have my meaningful 10/4 anniversary date. The one silver lining of covid is that there are no rules so if he/you want the 10/2 date I say elope on the 2nd and throw the party on the 23rd!

Ok how about this? If you marry on 10-23-21 then your first wedding anniversary would be 10-23-22 by adding the 10 and 22 you get 32 which would give you 23-32 and if I understand correctly in the year 2022 you will have been together 9yrs exactly the difference between 23 and 32. Sorry, I like enigmas and I'm trying to find something that works. 😂

Just throwing it out there, but would you be prepared to offer the other couple a financial incentive in exchange for swapping their wedding date with you? While asking another couple to switch their date is generally inappropriate, some might jump at the opportunity to swap dates if they were offered, say, a few thousand dollars as compensation. If you're willing to offer some kind of compensation, then the request might potentially be more reasonable. Otherwise, I'd stick with this date or try to find a different venue with the date your FH is happy with.

Also, to follow up to my previous suggestion, this would probably only work if the other couple hasn't already booked a bunch of vendors yet, since vendors typically charge fees for change of dates (the vendors would also have to be available on your date). I wouldn't take this for granted, because we all know how difficult it is to secure Saturday dates in 2021 due to Covid, but it still might be worth a shot to ask if you're willing to offer some kind of compensation

Sorry, but this is not appropriate. If you want your anniversary to fall on a specific date, then get married at the courthouse on that date.

I have heard of this successfully happening once. My fiancé’s friends were contacted by a couple and asked if they could have their wedding venue and specific date as it meant a lot to them sentimentally. In return - this new couple offered to pay their entire rental fee and catering bill to move dates just a few weeks later. Fiancé’s friends agreed and essentially got a free wedding. If you are going to attempt this I would say you need to come with and offer of monetary value. With so many reschedules I wouldn’t be surprised if they have vendors lined up already.

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On second thought, my date is a prime Saturday 2021 date and I would totally accept an offer like that if it were presented to me and my vendors could switch

I felt the same way I wanted 8.8 so bad & the location I wanted was avalible for that date but covid killed it now its 8.8 still 8 is my favorite number, it took him 7yrs to ask but it was going to be 8 yrs we have been together this yr. his date of birth is 8 & my fav basketball player number was 8.. so it meant a lot to us but 21 is killing me lol and i dont want to wait til 22

View Quoted Comment Definitely totally different if you are willing to offer money! They you are offering you something in return for the inconvenience and the not preferred date!

In my opinion it is not appropriate, not only to the other couple but to the venue as well. That other couple probably already has lots of commitments and contracts outside of just the venue so they shouldn't have one of their vendors be giving them any pressure to change things. And it would be really bad business of the venue to suggest that they would put the needs and requests of one couple over another. Managing to get an available date alone is not something to take lightly, so if you have it, make it work.

In the end, it's unclear why the date matters. (If it really mattered, then the day of the week shouldn't be a dealbreaker?) Very few couples get significant, palindromic, or otherwise lucky wedding dates, even intentionally, that happen on Saturdays. I totally endorse the ideas being suggested to elope on the significant date, apart from the wedding celebration. It seems to be a very common thing right now for the couples who have had to push off their receptions due to covid but are serious about getting married sooner. That being said, delaying by a whole year is a huge change, so the reasons should be crystal clear to you if you agree to that.

It's a Wednesday in December, but 12/02/2021 is a palindrome. 7/14/21 is a Wednesday, but it is three multiples of seven, which is a lucky number. 4/3/21 is a Saturday.

I mean you can always ask them, but the most likeliest outcome is a polite refusal. If it means that much to you and your fiance, surely you are better off finding another venue that may be free?