Asking bridesmaid to step down

You can definitely add your two friends, but you can’t ask the others to step down. It is okay to have uneven sides - you don’t have to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Ugh. I feel your pain. After we assembled our bridal parties, word got around to my then-fiancé’s 2 incredibly dramatic step sisters who threw an absolute fit. Not wanting to upset her sisters she told them she had not finalized her party and swore they would be included in the final count. I know had the original 5 and she had 7. We considered several options including moving one sister to my side, adding two people to my party, or accepting uneven groups. I ultimately decided to invite her two step brothers to my party to even things out and keep the drama in the other side of the aisle! Obviously mixed gendered parties are not as uncommon with same sex marriages, but I think they can definitely work regardless. The girls on my side wore blush dresses and the guys wore black pants with blush button downs. The guys on my wife’s side wore black pants, vests and blush shirts, while the two girls wore black dresses with blush corsages.
Whatever you decide, I’m sorry you’re going through this!

The healing can always be late. Take it from someone who was in a car accident, as a passenger, that broke her neck in 2 places and who’s ankle was a compound fracture... or the other accident where I hit someone who ran a ref light and dislocated/shattered my right wrist....
Who has other health issues/chronic pain—— HEALING ISN’T GUARANTEED.
With that said, I would tell my friend “I love that you are thinking you’re able to be well enough! I want to have you there and I’m the best health to party the night away.” Don’t feel the need to include everybody as a “special” part of your day- them just being there is!
As for the friend who was supposed to be sent before, but is going after... Military and government can ALWAYS change on a dime! My dad and brother were career military and they would have one deployment date then it was moved up and then back.... A friend works for the State Department and his date was to be after our wedding..... it is now the week of he is to leave. I’d tell friend: “I am sooooo happy you’ll be able to attend the wedding after all!! Have fun and enjoy yourself!”
If either asks simply tell them that you would’ve loved them to be IN the wedding, but with what was going on in Their life/lives you felt it better to have them there as a guest and not have the pressure of being in the wedding to add to everything. Hopefully they understand and are gracious/happy you thought of them.

I mean, you can ask them to “step down” but not without being rude and damaging your, and probably your FH’s, relationship with them.

View Quoted Comment

Completely agree with Sophie. At the end of the day, you can do whatever you want as it is your wedding. But you'll most definitely damage (if not ruin) your relationships with these two girls if you ask them to step down from being bridesmaids. I would just add your two friends and have uneven sides, there's nothing wrong with that.

Unfortunately, have them all and accept uneven sides.

I’m not clear.... What’s wrong with simply adding your 2 friends without removing anyone?

Don't ask anyone to step down, ask your 2 friends and have uneven sides. Uneven sides are super common and totally fine. Don't hurt anyone's feelings or damage relationships because of numbers.

Side note, on the injured bridal party member thing... one of our groomsmen broke his pelvis snowboarding a few months before our wedding. He was still a groomsman! He started off with a walker which we planned to decorate for walking down the aisle but by the time the wedding came he only needed a cane which ended up looking pretty cool in photos! So I'm sure your friend will be fine to be a bridesmaid even if she isn't 100% better

I think it was pretty crappy of you to not ask your 2 friends originally because one was hurt and one may not be able to attend. Don't ask anyone to step down, but if you want to ask the other 2 do it. Your sides don't need to be even.

View Quoted Comment Did you you not comprehend what I wrote?
1 friend was in a bad car accident meaning she would not be able to travel or attend the wedding. The 2nd one was getting shipped to another country prior to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yes, she will be able to travel now which I’m happy about!

View Quoted Comment

I picked my bridesmaids based on who I wanted to honor. One was in the Peace Corps and definitely not able to attend - she was a still a BM (listed in the program, got a gift and letter from me like everyone else). Idk - I just picked the girls I'm closest with because I love them regardless of where they were.

View Quoted Comment

I agree. Uneven sides really aren't that big of a deal in retrospect!