Asking bridesmaids all at same time

I asked me MOH before anyone else.
I asked my other 3 on the same day, but I have my one who is currently living abroad, a 2 month span to think it over.
I dont plan on backups. I'm just going to have an uneven party if she decides she can't.
If I were going to have backups, I probably would have asked them all a little more spread out. Maybe asked the two that might say no first, see what they say, and then ask the other 4 around the same time.

If you are unsure I would ask them one at a time, separately. They might surprise you and say yes. The one trying to get pregnant can still be a bridesmaid, they have maternity dresses, she can still attend the bachelorette and just not drink. The one who is moving abroad can always plan to come back for the wedding. I just wouldn't expect her to help with planning, attending the bridal shower or the bachelorette.

I would ask the two who might say no first if they'd want to be in your bridal party, before doing anything cute-sy (if you plan on doing a bridesmaid proposal or something), just matter of factly. Then, with that information in hand, you can ask the people you want to ask.

Definitely ask your first choices first. There's a reason why you picked them as your first choices. Honor that reason. If you ask everyone including the second choices and they say yes too, then you can't go back on that and will have to include everyone.

My Matron of Honor is my sister. She was pregnant for most of my engagement. We set our wedding for June 23rd because I didn't want a long engagement and June was the earliest she felt she could do anything after giving birth. (She gave birth a few weeks ago!)

She is a full-time working mom, with a two year old toddler. She planned TWO bachelorette parties in my honor and the bridal shower with my Mom and Aunts. I now look at her like she's Wonder Woman!

The first one one was a destination trip to Disney's Epcot for a weekend. When she initially asked me what I wanted to do for my bachelorette, I said that I wanted to go someplace warm, or go to the beach. This set some limitations because it was Fall in New Jersey at the time of the discussion and she was pregnant, so we had a small window of opportunity before she wouldn't be able to fly. This trip was only for the bridal party.

The second one was a month later at my parents' house. It was for my bridal party and other friends. The shower was the next day.

My sister did all of that for me while working full time, nurturing her two year old daughter and growing her second daughter inside her body! I once asked her how she was able to do it all and she said she honestly didn't know how she was able to pull it off!

*My cousin, who has three kids helped plan and cooked all of the food for the second bachelorette.

Don't just assume that someone is going to back out if they are pregnant or have other responsibilities like moving. You may be surprised at what they will do out of love for you!

I asked MOH first and then everyone else after that. I would say either as the two first or is not then be open to having all six because if you ask them at the same time you never know what’s gonna happen

It doesn’t really matter in what order you ask as long as you’re not doing it publicly and kicking off planning before asking the others (I’d feel awkward if I became a bridesmaid, got added to a group text, and suddenly discover the others had been chatting for a while and already settled dress details!). But otherwise, with everything private, you’re really free to take your time. I asked two of my girls at once because it came up in conversation. My other I asked a few weeks later as she is not local and I was waiting for a better opportunity (when I would see her in person)

View Quoted Comment Okay your sister seriously is Wonder Woman!! Lucky you to have her 😊

Thanks everyone, appreciate the great advice!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! Don't worry, your friends will want to be there for you!