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Cayla
Dedicated August 2020

Asking Bridesmaids to Order Dresses

Cayla, on June 1, 2019 at 12:57 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 28
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How should I go about requesting that my bridesmaid orders her dress? How did you all do so? I really don't want to come off as bridezilla but I have selected a specific dress for them to order and the shop said as long as they order soon (end of August?) we won't have to worry about the dress style being discontinued prior to them ordering the dresses. I had a very hard time finding a shade of purple that wasn't too dark or deep or too pale so I'm set on this dress because the color falls right in the middle and it's the only place I can find this color so I just really could use advice on how to approach them about it. The dress is approximately $190 and they only need half down to order the dress (plus I am paying $50 to each dress) so for them to order it is only going to cost $45 but I hate to be demanding.

28 Comments

Latest activity by Sinéad, on July 9, 2019 at 11:03 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Depending on your bridal party I don't think it would be too soon to ask them to order and it doesn't sound pushy to me. Especially because they may not necessarily do it right away anyway.

    Explain it the way you did here, that the shop may discontinue the dress you like and only would need $45 to deposit and needs to be done by end of August.

    If they haven't done it by end of July or something then remind them again.

    My bridal party would have needed ten thousand reminders to do so but if yours are far more organized and doers then it should be ok.
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  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I ordered the dresses for my bridesmaids and had them pay me back afterwards. The dress I picked has 3 different colors and I didn't want to worry about someone getting the colors wrong or selecting them in the wrong order so it just seemed easier that way for me. If you're already paying for part of their dress anyway that way might work well for you too.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I second Michelle. Granted I had noticed that the dress had gone on sale, so sent a group message like "hey, the dress is on sale online at DB right now for $90. If you haven't ordered yet, you can save a few bucks. Also, I don't know if this means that they may be discontinuing this style soon, so if you could order it to be on the safe side, that would be great." They had all picked that dress and color and I knew 2 out of the 4 had already ordered it. I didn't want to have to go back to square one.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You have well over a year until your wedding so I do think that it’s a bit much to ask people to order dresses now. If I was in a wedding 14 months away, I definitely wouldn’t have budgeted for the cost of the dress right now. I would mention that you found the dress you want, but I would also prepare to keep looking for dresses if your girls can’t afford to order now.
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    Are your girls okay with ordering the dress over a year in advance? I just worry about weight changes and possible pregnancies with ordering this early.
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  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    I found a dress I absolutely loved and we have a year and a half (a little less) until our wedding. The dress is only $55, I just asked them nicely to get it ordered asap so it doesn't go out of stock. I even bought one of my girls her dress and she is going to pay me back little by little because it wasn't something she could afford.
    Dresses can be altered, if they don't fit by the few months before the wedding. All of them were okay with ordering it now, knowing I LOVED this dress for them and alterations are well within reason. They are expected to buy a dress to be in the wedding, that's given, they can't really get mad about you asking them to do so, imo.
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    Did you ask your bridal parties dress budget ? If yes just say hey if everyone can get the dress by the end of August so we know it will not be discounted thanks. It is over a year away and a lot can happen. To a body in that time.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I didn't look at your wedding date when I first responded. My bad. Yeah, you can ask them, but I'd be hesitant to purchase a dress that far out. When I reached out to my girls about that sale it was 4 months before the wedding.
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  • Simone
    Devoted April 2020
    Simone ·
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    Tell her about your deadlines. I dont see why she would wait and risk not being able to get it. If it's a money issue, order it for her and have her reimburse you the deposit.
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  • A
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
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    I have a similar problem. I’ve asked nicely and heard a thousand excuses and starting to think I want to replace the one bridesmaid that hasn’t ordered before it gets to be to late. My suggestion is a “ask” sandwich...... say something great addy a slice of “by the way did you get a chance to order your dress” and finish with a compliment on how great you think the dress will look.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    If I was a bridesmaid, I would be hesitant to order a dress more than a year in advance especially because in a year from now my fiance and I plan on having a baby. I would also ask the girls what their budget is even though you are paying $50 towards the dresses you shouldn't assume they can afford the dress you have selected. I also would be nervous about just selecting a dress online without the girls trying them on so they know what size they need. I personally wouldn't order a dress online with the option to return the dress for a complete refund.

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  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
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    Do none of you know what alterations are? Like forreal, yes, crap can happen in over a year to a body, but dresses can also be changed. As I stated, we have a year and 4 months until our wedding, all of my girls were okaywith ordering their dresses now because they know I love it. I measured myself for a dress, ordered it as there were 0 reviews on the dress that I loved, and it came in perfect, and actually big on me, so the girls took that into account. I helped measure them and compared it to the size chart that they had with the dress, and helped them select a size. All of them understanding that a year from now they may need alterations done.
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  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
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    You say you don’t want to be bridezilla but it sounds like you picked a specific dress style without consulting your BMs, you want only a very specific shade of purple & you want them to order a dress over a year in advance. Sounds little bridezilla to me lol 😆
    Btw if you’re contributing $50 to each dress, then 50% that they have to put down now is $70, not $45, no? I’m saying this mainly because of their budget, but hopefully you discussed this with them already.
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    Only by 2 inches up.So let’s say a girl gets a dress gets pregnant. Dress can’t be taken out that much. So you either can’t have her in the wedding or buy all new dresses.
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  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    People arent idiots. We all know what alterations are. But lets say one got pregnant, lost alot of weight or gained alot of weight and that dress no longer fits....? They will probably end up spending more on alterations that would cost more then the dress. Eventhough it may seem like a small thing to take in or loosen a dress- that cost adds up fast. And although you measured yourself and your bms and matched to an online chart...that does not work for everyone
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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    Wow. Just wow. 😂

    I would straight up REFUSE to buy a dress that early. If you're completely paying for my dress, fine. But if not, and if it doesn't for by the time the wedding rolls around, that's on you, and I'm not helping to buy a new dress because you got over excited.
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  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    So right now I am freaking out cause my wedding dress is not fitting tbe same as when I bought it. I was lucky enough that the way the dress was made they could put a corset in it. Not all dress are made that was. So yes what if a girl bought a 100 something dollar dress then a year later it did not for could not be fixed. Would you kick her out? We have all been in other weddings. I have never had to but a dress that much In Advance. Not all of us are rich and can afford extra 500 for alterations if the can be done.
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  • Kristin
    Super November 2019
    Kristin ·
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    I would probably just let everyone know that the deadline is August and its going to cost $45.00. I agree that ordering this far out can be tricky between budgets and size changes (dresses can only be altered so much on way or the other) but I do understand wanting to get it done. I took my girls shopping a year ahead of time (and I got blasted on here for saying so) since everyone is out of state and everyone was home for Christmas. They ordered in March because the boutique we ordered from required the order 6 months ahead of time to avoid rush fees. I let everyone know in January what the deadline was and checked in a week before the deadline, That gave everyone enough time to wait for payday/save up for the down payment and all of my girls did just that. I think I'm pretty lucky compared to most of the BM posts I see on here but everyone responded really well for me just sending them a "hey, FYI" text.

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  • Becca
    Expert July 2019
    Becca ·
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    Could you front the money for the down payment so that it gets done? Either that or say that you would like the women to order in the next month if possible so that the dresses are all cut from the same bolt of fabric.

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  • N
    Dedicated November 2019
    Nita ·
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    Dresses can only be taken in or let out about 1 size. I know I’ve changed more than dress size in a year. Also if someone gets pregnant there is no way a dress that they bought pre-pregnancy could be altered enough to accommodate a a pregnant belly
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