Asking Bridesmaids

Your wedding seems to be more than a year and a half away, so definitely don't pick/ask bridesmaids now. Wait until 6 months out.


That said, I think for those who are local to you, it would be nice to invite them out to lunch and give them the box in person. For those who live far from you, you can mail it. (If you do proposal boxes at all; they're totally optional and some people think they're a waste of money or put extra pressure on your friends.)

Unless you're really close to the people you're wanting to ask and you're confident in your choices, I'd wait a little while to ask them like Jasmine suggested. I also agree with her advice on the delivering of the boxes. If they're near you, meeting them in person is nicer and more personal. For anyone too far to travel too, mailing the boxes will be fine.

You're going to get different opinions on whether they're necessary or not. I did them, but they def. aren't required in asking people to be in your wedding party!

Don’t ask anyone until 6 months before the wedding. Relationships can and do change over time, even with the best of friends. Only your current innermost supportive social circle should be asked. Never ask anyone because you were in their wedding or you don’t want them included but you feel obligated anyway. That includes in laws that not everyone is close to and being in the wedding party is not the place or time to get to know them.


How do you normally communicate with them? Are they long distance so you only call or text? Or are some local so you meet up for coffee regularly? Ask them in the manner that you normally communicate. By phone or text/email with the long distance ones and in person with the locals. However make sure you do not pressure them. For example, proposal boxes are huge on Instagram and Pinterest but reality is that they put people on the spot to say yes without thinking about if they are able to commit to the role. That is before expectations and budget are discussed which is a major determining factor that is largely ignored or overlooked which prevents a lot of heartache when you discuss it before asking them.

All of my bridesmaids were scattered across the country so I mailed them each something. But if you can deliver them in person, that would be best. I would just try to ask people at similar times so no one feels like an afterthought.

I dont live close to any of my bridesmaids but they all knew before I even got engaged they were going to be in my bridal party. I sent them cute cards and my MOH a necklace with the card in October 2021. Our wedding is March 2023.

I know the etiquette is to wait 6-9 months out, but if youre really secure in these relationships I dont see the need. I've been friends long distance and long term with all my bridesmaids, a year and a half isnt going to change that.