Asking for Plus One

Boyfriends are not a “Plus One.” If they are in a committed relationship, he absolutely should have been invited. Plus Ones apply to single people, and are totally optional.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, you probably should have included SO in the first place. He isn't a plus one he is her SO and should have been on the guests list.

A significant other is not a plus one. They are an automatic invite and it doesn’t matter that you haven’t met them. FaceTime and Zoom exist. If they consider themselves serious, you can’t ask them to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting theirs. It’s not your place to judge the validity of their relationship.


A plus one is a random stranger for unattached singles and are always optional.

Yes it's rude of her to ask but people are right that a committed significant other should be invited. I would clarify her definition of "boyfriend" because a guy she's been dating for a short while is different than someone she's been exclusive with for several months/years.

Her boyfriend should have been invited already. Extend the invitation.

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100% this, you need to extend the invite to all your friends in relationships. How would you feel if you were attending your friends wedding while you and you FH were just "boyfriend/girlfriend" status and your boyfriend wasn't invited?

View Quoted Comment I didn’t even know she was dating anyone until my bridal shower. It’s a very recent thing.

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But now you know, so you can extend the invitation. It's irrelevant that you you haven't met him.

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I kind of am having the same situation. My cousins BF was not originally in my guest list. They had only been dating for 5 months, I never met him never knew anything of him until I saw something on social media. They are now getting married in September, so I have to invite him even though I didn't get an invitation to their small backyard wedding. If they weren't getting married or been together or lived together, he wouldn't of been invited. Yeah I know I will get some heat for this but this is our wedding and we didn't want random people we would have to meet that day.

I would extend the invite. You didn't know that she was in a relationship at the time so no harm there. How much time has it been between invitations and your wedding? To be fair, maybe you should reach out to the other singles to ask if they are in serious relationships. If they are, and you just didn't know, you can extend an invitation since you have some wiggle room.

View Quoted Comment We just sent out invites 2 weeks ago and our wedding is October 10. They’ve only been together a few months so I didn’t know, some of the other singles I gave plus ones too already because they requested it early on. I figured it would be okay to not give my girl group plus ones since they all have each other.

You should have invited the SO's of all those people initially. You don't get to ask people to celebrate your relationship while ignoring theirs. It doesn't matter how long they're together, if they identify as a couple, they need to be invited together. Don't split up couples.

View Quoted Comment I totally get it. We are in the process of making cuts to our guest list and it's gut-wrenching trying to decide who gets an invite and who doesn't. I would go ahead and extend the SO invite to the other girls now since you have the spots and you told one that she could bring hers.