Asking friend to make the cake

I feel I need to clarify this post some. We are not looking for an overwhelming traditional tiered cake. We are ok with cupcakes and maybe one small cake for us to cut. Nothing about our wedding is fancy or formal so that's why this seemed like a simple option for us. Appreciate the warnings and guidance ...as well as the support too.

I couldn't imagine asking my friend to do something for my wedding and not offering to compensate them in some way. My friend just offered to do my hair this weekend, she offered and I asked how much. It is her wedding gift to me which I am unbelievably grateful for and am now looking for a small thank you gift. I am an officiant and have offered my service as a gift but I would feel taken advantage of if I was asked to do it for free without concern for the time I put into it. Cakes are expensive and take a lot of time to make. It is sweet you want to ask her in a cute way, but I would at the very least offer to cover expenses.

View Quoted Comment Even cupcakes take a lot of time to bake and decorate (often more than a cake because they have to be baked in batches and decorated individually)

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All of this! Just because she helps make treats for fundraisers doesn't mean she wants to make a wedding cake. Has she ever said Hmmm I think I want to get into making cakes for weddings? If that was the case I'd be more inclined to HIRE her to do it. Please if you ask her make sure she knows she will be paid for this and not expect a free cake out of her. If she says yes I'll make it and it will be your gift then great but don't expect that.

When I was into photography people felt I'd be honored to photograph their weddings and make it their gift to them. So they wanted me to do a TON of work without being paid and not enjoy their wedding at all because photography is endless at weddings. So yeah I've been in the other shoe and I was NOT feeling honored to ask. I turned them down every time and was a guest at the weddings and preferred it that way.

My sis has taken the day off work the day before my wedding! I'm not staying with my FH that night I am staying with her to help her anyway I can! We have done other cakes that turned out so beautiful! I'm not stressing it! She will pull it off! She's amazing!😉

I asked a friend to do the same. She made us a small cake for cutting and cupcakes in 3 different flavors. I offered to pay for all the ingredients but she offered to do it as our wedding gift. I gave her a nice thank you gift after the wedding!

I just called an asked her - nothing outrageous!

I definitely don’t recommend doing a big elaborate proposal to ask. Something like that puts pressure on people to say yes. Have a regular conversation with her to see if this is something she would be comfortable with or interested in and available to do — emphasize no pressure and that you’re happy to go with a store cake if she’s not interested. If and only if she says yes , then you can do something creative to honor & thank her & maybe compensate her (I’d personally pay for ingredients even if they won’t accept ‘payment’ or sneak a gift card into a thank you card).

I too LOVE baking and do so all the time for parties and everyone raves and I love that, but I would not be comfortable baking for a friend’s wedding — too much stress involved for me. It’s a high pressure task even if you don’t intend it to be.

So we asked one of my fiancé’s co-workers (who is a baker on the side) if she would like to make our cake for our wedding. We decided on a giant donut cake and the mini donuts. She said “consider it your wedding gift. I’d be honored to do this”.

I see no harm in giving her a little “presentation” when asking. I am sure she would feel honored! Do what you feel is best. Maybe do a play on words with cake or something? Cake mix and kit (simple).

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I think its a great idea and I am planning on doing the same thing! Our friend is making us our own personal cake to cut and dessert for the guests will be on our caterer. Did you end up asking and if so, how? I like the ideas of a cute box/ wine etc. You do you!

So glad I found some nice comments on here. I was getting really discouraged. lol My friend is a baker and LOVES it, I believe this is why she would be honored. I want to buy her something when I ask her and was hoping to find ideas. Of course we are going to pay her!! Why would we not?

View Quoted Comment This thread is 2 1/2 years old. I’d recommend starting your own for feedback specific to you. That said, my two cents are it’s one thing if your friend were to offer this to you on her own and very inappropriate for you to ask. An honor is asking someone to be a relaxed guest at your wedding, not putting them to work ahead of time. The fact that your friend loves baking does not enter into it.

View Quoted Comment I think you should be able to ask your friend if she’d bake the cake, give her a comfortable open route to say no when you ask, and if she says yes, yay! It gets to add so much more meaning to different parts of the day when friends are involved

View Quoted Comment Yes, definitely. My friend is also a professional baker and she has a business. So as long as I'm a paying customer.. she's definitely making my cake. I was just hoping to find cute ideas. I'm just going with a card I guess.

View Quoted Comment Great idea! A proposal box sounds fun and can bet personalized to her. Congratulations! And have fun with asking for her help in your celebration.