Asking Roommates to Vacate After Wedding?

Assuming things never is a good idea in life. Clear communication smooths out issues.

At this point, your fiance should give them notice so that they know to start looking for a new place. He should not just kick them out.

If he wants to kick them out, he needs to tell them months in advance so they can find a place to live.

I think he needs to give them a formal notice, in writing, of when they should be moved out.

I empathize with your situation and I hope that you can approach the issue delicately so there will be no hurt feelings. I find simply being open and honest with people is he best course of action in any endeavor. I would encourage your partner to give the roommates a firm move out date several months after he first gives them notice, and maybe plan for a couple months additional between you and your partner in case his roommates are unable to find anything within the initial timeframe. I would email the notice to them with a short message that shares the positive things you both admire about their friendship as well to emphasize that this effort is so you two can begin this new chapter of your lives.

He should give them at least 30 days notice and stay strong with the deadline--how close are the roommates to FH? Were they friends before they moved in together? Craigslist roommates? Be sure to check on any renters rights for your state/city to make sure they don't have any legal grounds to drag their feet. I think 30 days notice is the minimum in most places but again would check on your state/city. Good luck!

If the roommates have been living there more than 6 months, you may have to actually evict them through the courts. Either way, bridges will be burned.

It's not an unreasonable thing to request, but I wouldn't go into it in the mindset of "kicking them out". Even if they aren't on the lease, you/FH should still be considerate and give them ample notice (I'd say min 2-3 months if possible so they can get in somewhere else).

I agree with PPs also that you need to look into the legalities in your particular area so you know all your (and the roommates) rights.

I know its different everywhere but in the state of Florida, if you are residing somewhere and you have belongings in that house then the state technically recognizes that as your residence too and in order to be kicked out you have to properly evict them.

This is obviously extreme measures and you don't want to burn bridges so I'd write up a notice giving them plenty of time to find a place to live and have the roommates sign it too, then get it notarized possibly so it is a legal document. Never assume anything. Talk to them, explain that they are not on the lease and the living situations need to change. Good luck.

You need to give them a few months notice so that they have the necessary time to find another place to live. I think I would give them more than 30 days notice. You may run the risk that they find a place and move out earlier. In that case, would your FH be able to cover their portion of the rent?

I should be more clear - no one would be getting booted onto the street of course. I meant "kicked out" as in, "asked to vacate within a reasonable amount of time". I guess I'm wondering if it is normal / reasonable for couples to ask their roommates to vacate (again, within a reasonable amount of time) considering the relationships / dynamics will inevitably change between roommates & couple post-marriage. And yeah, in regards to assuming - I really just meant that I feel like it would be considerate of them - as adults living in a communal household and being aware of the changing relationship dynamics - to participate or initiate a conversation, in anticipation of all of these things (something along the lines of, "I'll be that once Jack and Jill are married they will likely want more privacy - I wonder if I should bring this up with Jack, my roommate, and talk about what his plans are for future leasing. Yeah, I think I'll do that"). But yeah, I totally agree that ample notice will be given - just wondering if anyone has actually been in this position and can speak to how they broached the subject with said roommates, and how it went? *Oh, and yeah, the rent $ is not a problem. The main issue is the dynamics. One of the roommates is totally understanding and plans to leave actually for school, but the other is clueless. I should also mention that these roommates took their rooms way after my FH did. FH is the longest standing tenant, and he is essentially subletting two rooms in the place.

View Quoted Comment This is a really good point. People change a lot in stressful times, so thanks! I'll look into the legality / official notice procedures.

We have an inconsiderate roommate who apparently had no thoughts of moving out after we marry so we eventually decided to end the lease and get a 1 bedroom apartment. Not ideal but we didn't have much of a choice and we just really want our own privacy. I dont understand why someone would WANT to continue to live with a couple once they're married...

View Quoted Comment Seriously. Glad to hear it's not just me who thinks this way. I feel like it's more stubbornness / entitlement intentional or fake ignorance of social norms (on top of just wanting to keep one's cheap room and moving being very stressful, which I totally get as well)

So they don’t have subleases at all or a term of residency? That’s tough. By tenant’s rights, They’re essentially month to month-ers which will require them getting formal notice with 30 days notice, and he’s totally within his right to do this without cause.
if they’re friends, it would be important for him to start telling them ASAP that he would like to keep the apartment for just the two of you after the wedding so they can be mentally prepared to move. The sooner he starts discussing the idea, the more chill they’ll be about it when the time comes.

Honestly, though I do feel he’s totally within his right to ask them to leave, it’s crazy to assume that the roommates would just up and leave on their own. You have to consider it from the perspective that it’s their HOME, and nothing in their life is changing , so them needing to move is not automatic. If I was a roommate, Yeah id think something might change given his marital status, but I’d presume he’d be the first to leave (and go settle down with his wife) and we’d be left to either take over the lease or ALL move. It's not like he owns the house, so it’s not such a given, sublessees do have some rights. So, I’d open the dialogue ASAP for sure, well in advance of the requisite 30 days.

Ps there is totally an episode of FRIENDS about this (Monica tries to tell Rachel that chandler will be moving in [hoping to imply she is OUT] and Rachel gets all excited that they’ll all be roommates)

I would just give them as much notice as possible, as in, tell them now, so they have ample time to find a suitable alternative. I live in NY too and I know how long it takes to find a place. And you have to be ok with picking up their share of the rent if they were to find something else sooner than your wedding. But if you guys are nice and upfront about it, they'll probably understand.

You can’t handle it until September? It seems like a waste of money for 4-5 months!

I'd let them know as soon as possible, so they have time to plan and get other rooms set up. I don't think it's unreasonable for a married couple to live alone, especially if your husband is on the lease and is the only one? Then it seems like it's okay. I would just have him sit them down and say you two are starting your life together and would like to have a guest bedroom, room for future kids, pets, etc. and since you will both be paying you can afford it on your own. If they get mad, that would be weird. They are renting, which is temporary anyway.

I’d let them know right now. That way they have longer to find a new living situation. No reason to really put it off.

I wasn’t in this situation myself, but a friend of mine was. Her boyfriend moved in with her and her roommate for a little while, and they got engaged about 4 months later. When they got engaged they gave the roommate about 9 months to move out and the wedding was about 3 months later. It took a while, and she was a decent roommate, but it was the best way to handle it with no hurt feelings.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I agonized over this decision for a while, but, if you were working 3 jobs and volunteering, would you want to spend the one day per week you have off sweeping up piles of beard trimmings, scooping rotting food out of the kitchen sink, and sopping up slimy puddles of soap/hair/body-dirt scum from the bathtub drain for three 30yr old man-children and each of their early-20-something girlfriends, none of whom feel the need to contribute to the household in any way? And how long would you boycott being the only one to ever clean communal items such as kitchen towels, moldy shower mats, bathroom hand towels, doormats, living-room rugs/couches before you were utterly disgusted and caved in and washed them yourself so you wouldn't feel like you were living in a rotting pile of human filth? I gave it a good 3 months before I found myself writing passive aggressive post-it notes and realized I was going bonkers. I'll be paying $250 more and have my own bathroom, and will live 15mins away, so yeah, money well spent I think. (bonus: I tried to test them and see how long it would take for them to buy their own hand-soap for the bathroom and kitchen... They still haven't bought it after a month and a half. I have my own hidden away, but seriously - these dudes never wash their hands. I think that says a lot.)